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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551331">The Crystal Path</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekymoviemom/pseuds/geekymoviemom'>geekymoviemom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Paths of Kyber [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Ben Solo Deserves Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo working through his demons, Ben goes on trial, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey deserves better, Sexual Content, Soulmates, The Force Ships It</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:20:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>57,047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551331</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekymoviemom/pseuds/geekymoviemom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people theorise that permutations in the lattice of kyber crystals are comparable to emotional shifts in a sentient being.</p><p>Ben Solo renounced the persona of Kylo Ren when he launched his Sith lightsaber into the raging ocean on Kef Bir.  But as written in the ancient Jedi texts, he knew that his journey towards redemption would not be complete until he was considered worthy to select a new crystal, once again identifying him on the side of light.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Paths of Kyber [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>253</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics, The Rise of Skywalker: Fix-It Fic Edition</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My first Star Wars story!  I saw The Rise of Skywalker, and... well... there was no way I could be satisfied with that ending so I decided to write my own.</p><p>New chapters will post every Monday until the story concludes.  Thank you so much for reading!  💖</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>  </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Six months post-Exegol</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>The sun was barely starting to creep through the surrounding trees when Rey suddenly jerked awake, startled by a sharp pain in her upper arm. She instinctively pressed her palm over the spot, which just happened to be directly on top of the old wound she received during the battle with the Praetorian guards back in Snoke's throne room.</p><p>The battle that now seemed like a lifetime ago.</p><p>There was no new injury there, though. Just the slightly raised lines of the scar that had been left behind.</p><p>She had stopped wearing the leather band over it once she and Ben arrived on Naboo. The temperate climate on the lush green and blue planet was far different than what she was used to, so she'd taken to wearing long sleeves on the occasions when she and Ben ventured away from their tiny hidden cabin in the woods to gather supplies in the nearby city, one that Leia frequently visited when Ben was a child. His mother had always explained to Ben that their visits were for diplomatic purposes, and Leia had in fact accomplished a great many things for the New Republic during their time there, but Ben had always suspected that there was more to it. Some kind of pull or draw towards the planet that Leia had that she could neither explain nor resist.</p><p>Of course, they now understood why Leia had felt so drawn to the place, and Rey knew that in the six or so months since the battle on Exegol, Ben had at least felt some semblance of peace there.</p><p>Or, if not necessarily peace, Ben at least felt <em>safe.</em></p><p>She imagined it had been similar for Leia as well, that sense of safety and security during the tremulous times following the fall of the Galactic Empire. Even if Naboo was also the home planet of Emperor Palpatine, the apparent mastermind behind everything dark and evil in the galaxy over the last several decades, light, in the form of a mother's—and grandmother's—unconditional love, would always manage to overpower the darkness.</p><p>In Rey's mind, though, the fact that Palpatine also hailed from Naboo almost made it even more peaceful. Now that the evil Emperor and most of the remaining dregs of his existence and influence were completely and truly gone, it was almost as though Naboo felt like it could breathe again. Its colours were brighter, the air sweeter and more fragrant, the water clearer, and the people happier, more optimistic.</p><p>The dull veil that had plagued the planet ever since the fall of Anakin Skywalker had been finally lifted.</p><p>At that moment, however, Rey was almost naked, dressed in only her underwear, as she had discovered that sharing a bed with Ben was akin to having her own personal heating element. Ben's long, lanky body somehow managed to radiate more heat than the brightest star, and Rey, who'd been often forced to bundle herself with scratchy blankets made from thin linen during the coldest of the desert nights on Jakku, luxuriated in sharing in his warmth.</p><p>Amongst other things.</p><p>And it was times like these, when she found herself alone, where all it took was just a single thought about what she and Ben often shared in that bed to ignite the fire deep inside her chest, her cheeks flushing as it spread down her body and out to her arms and legs, bringing a bright smile to her face.</p><p>She had found that she rather enjoyed smiling lately, having had so few reasons to do so all those years while alone on Jakku, before BB-8 practically dropped out of the sky into her lap and she found herself flung right into the middle of the Resistance.</p><p>Another pain suddenly hit, this one right above her left hip, causing her to gasp. The space next to her on their small, narrow bed was still slightly warm, so Ben hadn't been gone too long. Rey knew that he was having trouble sleeping, as he'd apparently had his entire life, which meant it was likely yet another bad dream that had roused him.</p><p>Which meant that he was probably in the woods. Again.</p><p>She reached down, feeling around on the floor until she found Ben's crumpled black tunic, still bearing the hole that she'd made when she plunged his old red lightsaber into his abdomen on the ruins of the second Death Star. A shiver trickled down her spine at the memory, of how angry she'd been at Ben for destroying the Wayfinder device, and then, right on its heels, of how frightened she was when she realised what she had allowed her anger to push her to do.</p><p>It was Ben who had insisted on keeping the garment when she'd wanted to burn it, but she was now glad to have it as she pulled it over her head and threaded her arms into the sleeves. It was long enough to completely cover both her hands and her bum as she slipped her feet into her soft boots and pulled one of their blasters out from under the mattress. They had managed to acquire three of the weapons; one snatched from Exegol before they escaped the destructing planet and two others on Coruscant, where they stopped to get Ben medical treatment. The already tight fit of two people in the cockpit of Master Luke's old X-wing was made even more uncomfortable due to Rey having to sit directly on top of Ben's broken ribs and leg, the injuries he had refused to allow her to attempt to heal after bringing her back from the dead.</p><p>Stubbornness seemed to be both a Solo trait and a Skywalker trait, from what Rey had observed, and since Ben was both Skywalker and Solo, he'd apparently received a double portion.</p><p>And it seemed as though it was that very same stubbornness that had lured Ben out into the woods yet again, since Rey's lightsaber was also missing.</p><p>Stepping across the tiny cabin, Rey pushed open the door, the cool, crisp early morning air hitting her square in the face as she stepped outside, prompting her to wrap her arms around her front as she followed the already-worn path to the clearing a short distance away, the hum of her lightsaber beckoning her to where Ben was training. She flinched as yet another sharp pain struck her body, this time on her shoulder, accompanied by a brief muffled cry, not much more than a grunt. Rey frowned as she picked up her pace, arriving in the clearing to find Ben—shirtless and with his hair tied back—sparring with three separate Jedi training remotes, one of which she was able to Force-grab just in time to prevent it from landing another shot to the back of his neck. With a flick of her wrist she deactivated the thing, sending it and the other two dropping onto the spongy forest floor as Ben whipped around, his brow furrowed and his lips stretched into a tight line.</p><p>"Why did you do that?" he asked, huffing and puffing as he deactivated the lightsaber, gripping it possessively. "I was fine."</p><p>"Oh, you were?" Rey retorted. "Were you really? Is that why I was able to feel every single shot from the remotes that you didn't manage to block? I can see your burn marks from here!"</p><p>Hurt flashed across Ben's dark brown eyes, almost black in the pale light of the early morning, and in three strides he had crossed the distance between them, halting suddenly a bit more than an arm's length away and holding out his hand, his expression desperate but tentative, as if he was still afraid that she might reject him.</p><p>"Rey," he whispered, almost like a prayer as Rey took his hand, allowing him to pull her into his arms. The blaster she was holding fell to the ground as Rey instinctively snuggled against him, tucking her head under his chin, the <em>thud thud thud</em> of his strong heartbeat beneath her ear a reminder that he was alive and well, and with her.</p><p><em>Be with me,</em> she'd whispered in her mind, over and over in a panic when she feared he was dying on Exegol. <em>Be with me. Don't leave me here alone.</em></p><p>"I'm sorry," he murmured, his large hands splayed across Rey's back as he held her close. "I was just—"</p><p>"Don't be sorry," Rey interrupted, trying to assuage her own guilt in the process. She had often wondered just how different things might've been if she'd chosen to take Ben's offered hand there in that throne room. Ben had saved her life by killing Snoke and then fighting with her against the guards, but she had been too confused, too conflicted by her feelings for Ben and what she felt was her duty to both the Resistance and to her Jedi training, so instead she had left him there, lying unconscious in that red-walled room, surrounded by dead bodies, burning fires, and falling embers.</p><p>Alone.</p><p>"I know what you were trying to do," she continued, a bit gentler. She raised her head, looking intently into those dark eyes that she could often get lost in. "I just feel that it's… unnecessary."</p><p>"But it's not," Ben insisted, shaking his head. Wisps of his hair had come loose from their tie, framing his dewy forehead and cheeks and giving him a sort of reverse halo-like effect against the rising sun streaming through the tall trees. "It's not unnecessary. I need… I need to train."</p><p><em>I need to prove myself, </em>he said into her mind<em>. Prove myself worthy of you.</em></p><p><em>No, you don't, </em>she replied. <em>I've already told you, you don't need to prove anything to me.</em></p><p>
  <em>Then I do to myself.</em>
</p><p>Rey let out a sigh. It's the same argument they've already had so many times, one they couldn't seem to resolve. "Then let me help you. You know it would be much easier if we—"</p><p>"No," Ben said firmly. "I've already told you. I'm not—I won't ever fight against you, Rey, not again. I just—I can't do it."</p><p>Nodding, Rey tucked her head back against Ben's broad chest, breathing in deeply. She wasn't suggesting that they fight each other, only train together, but she could understand how Ben could equate the two in his mind.</p><p>The fact that she had nearly killed him the last time they fought didn't help matters. She knew that Ben wasn't scared of her, that he was more frightened of seeing himself as attacking her, but that doesn't mean she wasn't still haunted by it. She had been so angry, and so intensely focused on that anger that she hadn't even realised that she'd been the one attacking Ben on that Death Star until she replayed the battle in her mind after speaking with Master Luke, feeling Ben's intense pain and remorse transmitting across their bond despite her best efforts to block it out.</p><p><em>I can feel what you're thinking, </em>she heard in her mind as Ben's lips brushed across her temple. <em>The past is over. Gone. Buried so deep it'll never be found.</em></p><p><em>I know it is,</em> she replied. <em>But apparently neither of us can seem to completely let it go now, can we?</em></p><p>Ben huffed in frustration, his hands dropping to his sides. "You know that I can't!"</p><p>"Ben—"</p><p>"No! I can't. Not yet." He paused, swallowing hard, his chin quivering. "Not until I've built another lightsaber."</p><p>"And in the meantime, you're never going to get where you think you need to be by using mine!" Rey exclaimed. "You can use it, yes, and use it well, but it wasn't built for you, just like your grandfather's wasn't built for Master Luke. The crystal inside my lightsaber called out to me and me alone, just as yours will when the time is right." She wrapped her arms around his waist again, drawing him close. "It will happen. We just need to be patient."</p><p>Ben was quiet for a moment, finally offering a begrudged, "I know." He knew she was right, even if he didn't want to admit it. It was the main reason why he'd agreed to bury Luke and Leia's lightsabers in the middle of the Naboo forest rather than continue to use them. Neither saber belonged to either of them, not really, and it was time for both Rey and Ben to forge their own paths, with their own lightsabers.</p><p>Rey hadn't quite understood what was happening when she first wandered past the ruins of the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant, the very same temple where Anakin Skywalker lost his internal battle between light and dark with the brutal murder of the Temple younglings. She had felt drawn to the ruins almost as soon as she and Ben arrived there, and as the days passed and Ben grew stronger, she found that she could no longer resist the pull towards it. It was as if something there was physically calling out to her.</p><p>Which it had been, as it turned out. Because hidden down deep in those ruins of what was once a magnificent Jedi Temple on a magnificent planet, was a single light green kyber crystal, cracked nearly in two. And as she carefully dug it out and plucked it from its hiding place, she cradled it in her hand and squeezed her eyes closed, concentrating on trying to knit the precious gem back together.</p><p>And hours later, when she finally opened them again, she found in her palm a softly glowing yellow crystal, perfectly intact.</p><p>Her crystal.</p><p>Master Luke had explained some of the lore behind the kyber crystals during her training, and Rey had read a bit more about it in some of the ancient Jedi texts, but she had honestly never completely understood it until she heard her crystal calling to her. Ben of course was familiar with it, having hunted down his own crystal during his apprenticeship with Master Luke, the very same crystal that then cracked under the pressure of its high-energy transformation into the unique crossguard lightsaber design used by Kylo Ren, Sith Apprentice and Supreme Leader of the First Order.</p><p>The lightsaber that now lay at the bottom of the raging ocean on Kef Bir. Rey sometimes wondered why instead of abandoning it, Ben didn't attempt to heal the broken crystal inside it, reclaiming it for the light as he did for himself when he shed the persona of Kylo Ren.</p><p>"<em>Let the past die,"</em> Ben had said to her, shirtless and scarred during one of their first Force bond connections, while she was training on Ahch-To<em>. "Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become what you're meant to be."</em></p><p>She supposed destroying his lightsaber was Ben's way of killing his past. With that saber, Ben had been both a Jedi padawan and a Sith apprentice, and now, like Rey, he needed to just <em>be.</em></p><p>He needed to realise that being "just" Ben Solo was more than good enough. That he was no longer defined by who he served.</p><p>"You are good enough," Rey said, muffled against Ben's chest. "In fact, you're more than. I only wish you could see that."</p><p>Ben's arms tightened around her, his long fingers threading into her hair as a light gust of wind rippled through the branches of the surrounding trees, causing them both to shiver.</p><p>"We'll see," he whispered into her ear, his warm breath against her skin a sharp contrast to the crisp breeze against her bare legs. Goosebumps pebbled down her arms, and her breath hitched as Ben's hand cupped her cheek. She tipped her head up to meet his eyes, dark and glassy, his thumb brushing lightly across her cheekbone.</p><p>"We should get back inside. You're shivering."</p><p>"That's 'cause you left me alone," she said, rather petulantly. "The bed… I was cold without you there."</p><p>Desire flared inside her chest at Ben's sharp intake of breath, both across the bond and of her own accord, and she wound her arms around his neck, rising up on her tiptoes just as he dipped his head to meet her lips. He returned the kiss eagerly, pressing her even closer as his hands slid down her back to her bum to lift her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he started walking towards their tiny cabin.</p><p>"You're so beautiful," he rasped, tearing his lips from hers to trail kisses down her cheek to her neck. Rey tipped her head back, moaning softly as he paused on her pulse point, her mind barely coherent enough to open her hands and summon their forgotten blaster and lightsaber as Ben fumbled with the cabin door, uttering a soft curse as he tried to wedge it open with his foot. Once it was finally open Rey's boots and the weapons clattered to the floor as Ben crossed the small room to the bed, laying her gently down and covering her with his solid warmth.</p><p>"<em>Ben,</em>" she whispered right before he captured her lips again, her hands clinging to his shoulders as Ben's fingers slipped underneath the tunic, his palm sliding up her rapidly heating skin to cover her right breast.</p><p>"So beautiful," he murmured as he drew the tunic up and over her head, tossing it back onto its place on the floor. Then he slid her underwear down her legs and leaned back on his heels, his full lower lip caught between his teeth as his eyes swept across her naked body, so lust-blown they were almost black.</p><p>"Ben," Rey whimpered, fidgeting a bit under his impassioned stare. It had been six months since their desperate first kiss on the dust-covered floor of the legendary Sith temple, six months of being with him like this, and she still wasn't quite used the way Ben looked at her, as if she was his own personal saviour.</p><p><em>Because you are</em>, he whispered into her mind. <em>You saved me.</em></p><p>"No," she said aloud, because she wanted him to hear it. She reached for him, pulling him back down to her. "We saved each other."</p><p>His chin started to quiver again, so she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, slipping her tongue into his mouth as she hiked her legs up to hook over his hips. He was already hard, and gasped against her lips as his still-clothed erection made contact with her very warm, very aroused centre.</p><p>"Rey—!"</p><p>"Why are you still wearing these?" she cut in as she slipped her fingers beneath his waistband and underwear, tugging impatiently. Ben let out a low growl as he reached to still her hands, his chest heaving as he panted against her neck.</p><p>"Too fast, sweetheart," he said, his arms trembling around her. "I won't—I won't last."</p><p>Rey huffed but nodded, breathing in a deep, shaky breath as Ben sucked in one of his own.</p><p>"Let me make you come first," he whispered, trailing kisses all along her neck and chest. She reached for the tie holding his hair, burying her fingers in the silky-soft strands and moaning when his beautiful full lips closed first over one nipple, then the other while his hand glided down her belly, pleasure already coiling deep in her gut as his practised fingers found her slick folds and slipped inside.</p><p>"Ben!" she gasped as he found that magic spot at the apex of her thighs, circling it as his lips lightly brushed across her skin. "I need—I need—!"</p><p>"That's it, sweetheart," Ben said, low and husky. "Stars, you're so beautiful, I wanna see you come for me!"</p><p>Growing up on a middle-of-nowhere planet like Jakku, Rey had encountered plenty of things she wished she could forget, including humans and aliens copulating right out in the open. Those images combined with the accidental eavesdropping on a Resistance soldier viewing a holo while looking for Leia one night were all Rey had ever known about sex. As such, she'd never really quite understood the appeal of any of it until the first time she and Ben locked eyes through their Force bond.</p><p>For even then, as angry with him as she'd been, she couldn't deny that there was something else there, a spark igniting deep inside her gut that she had never before felt, and then spent far too long trying to ignore.</p><p>Something she now knew was <em>desire.</em></p><p>Desire for <em>him.</em></p><p>And now, as the coil inside her finally snapped and the stars burst behind her eyes, she clung to him, clung to the man she loved more than her own life as he held her in his arms, whispering words of pure adoration against her skin.</p><p><em>I love you,</em> she thought, and felt him smile against her throat.</p><p>She so loved his smiles.</p><p>"I love you too," he said, the simple words so melodic in his soft, raspy voice that another blaster shot of pleasure shot down her body. She curled into his chest, hearing the rapid beat of his heart as his fingers caressed the back of her neck and his lips caressed her forehead and temples, the warm weightlessness from her climax slowly replaced with a heavy soddenness in her limbs. She closed her eyes, a contented smile stretching across her lips as Ben brushed a strand of hair from her forehead.</p><p>"You're tired," he said softly. "Sleep now."</p><p>"No!" she exclaimed, sitting up so fast that she nearly knocked her head into his chin, offering a kiss in apology. "I mean, I don't want to sleep. Not yet." She glanced down at his clearly straining erection, gently palming it as he hissed. "I want you first."</p><p>Ben tried to hide his sharp exhale, but the relief in his inky black eyes was obvious as she touched his cheek, bringing their lips together in a soft, languid kiss. They remained like that for awhile, wrapped in each other's arms as they explored each other's mouths, until Rey grew impatient and pushed against his shoulder, indicating for him to lie on his back. His eyes never strayed from her face as she peeled off his trousers and underwear, greedily running her hands up his long, muscular legs, across his toned stomach and up his broad chest to his neck. His pale skin was just as soft as his hair, like the silken dresses that Leia had always favoured, and Rey never tired of the feel of it against her own.</p><p>"Rey," Ben said, almost choking on the word as he bit down hard on his bottom lip, his entire body trembling beneath her. "Sweetheart, <em>please!"</em></p><p>She leaned down to kiss him again, a soft, sweet kiss as she straddled his hips and took his cock in hand, sinking slowly down on him. He was big, and she wasn't, and while Rey rather enjoyed the slight burn as he stretched her, she also knew that Ben would rather die than hurt her.</p><p>Besides that, she knew there was no need to rush, and she wanted to savour every single second.</p><p>They both moaned softly once he was fully sheathed, Ben's shaking hands gripping her hips as she adjusted to him, waiting for her to signal that she was ready. Rey's eyes fluttered closed as Ben's intense love and desire for her radiated across their bond, their hearts beating in tandem as she sucked in a deep breath, planted her palms on his chest, and started to move.</p><p>"<em>Ben,"</em> she whispered as she slowly rocked back and forth, gasping at his answering moan. Beads of sweat began to dot across his forehead, soaking a few wayward strands of his hair as she moved up and down, chasing her pleasure once again.</p><p>"Ben," she said, a bit louder this time, unable to say anything else as the pleasure continued to mount. Her jaw went slack as Ben suddenly surged up, curling his arms around her and burying his face in her neck. She was so close, dangling on the precipice, and she could tell by his shuddering gasps that he was as well.</p><p><em>Be with me, </em>she heard across the bond. <em>Don't ever leave me.</em></p><p>To which she responded, <em>I'm here. I'll never leave you.</em></p><p>"Rey!" he choked out as his hand slipped between their bodies, touching her just as his entire body went taut and he came, flooding her with his warmth, his arms crushing her against him as she followed him over, clenching and fluttering around him until they were both completely spent.</p><p>They remained still for a time, she wasn't quite sure how long, until Ben gently lifted her off of him, cradling her in his strong arms as he laid them back, their naked bodies so intertwined she wasn't quite sure where he ended and she began. Her limbs were deliciously heavy and her eyelids drooping as Ben's lips brushed across her forehead just before he pulled the blankets up over them. They were both sweaty and sticky, but neither of them cared; they would head out to the nearby river to bathe once the sun was high overhead and it was a bit warmer outside. Then they would prepare a meal together and curl up by the fire pit while they ate. Recently Ben had started telling her a few stories of his childhood, and Rey listened intently, basking in the narrative that she had only ever dreamed of while growing up alone on Jakku.</p><p>But right then, in that moment, Rey wanted nothing more than to lie in the arms of her love, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat lull her into a peaceful sleep.</p><p>
  <em>Be with me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am with you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You're not alone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>~~~~~</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I have been every voice… you have ever heard… inside your head-</em>
</p><p>Ben woke with a sharp inhale, squinting in the darkness that had fallen over their tiny cabin as he tried to remember where he was, slowly exhaling as Rey let out a soft sigh, the arm resting across his chest tightening, as though she was trying to anchor him to her.</p><p>Which, Ben realised, was exactly what she was trying to do. The two of them had been sharing a bed—if one could call the tiny pallet they slept on an actual bed—ever since he was well enough to do so, so he knew that Rey was no stranger to the nightmares that constantly plagued him.</p><p>Even as he wished that she was. Ben couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been plagued by nightmares, when his sleep hadn't been disturbed by whispered voices, poking and prodding and taunting his unconscious mind. Even as a baby and small child it was always hard for him to sleep, something he knew drove his father particularly nuts and caused more than a few arguments between his parents.</p><p>He shifted slightly, turning onto his side and tucking Rey's head flush against his chest, over his heart. She liked being able to hear his heartbeat, and as he glanced down at her, bathed in the soft light of the new moon streaming through their single window, he was rewarded by seeing her lips curl into a slight smile, one that he couldn't help but return.</p><p><em>You're not alone,</em> he heard through the bond. <em>I'm here.</em></p><p><em>But you almost weren't, </em>Ben couldn't help but think, and a sharp pain lanced across his chest at the memory of seeing Rey's lifeless body lying on the filthy floor of Palpatine's citadel, his nearly overwhelming panic overpowering the intense pain from his broken leg and ribs as he crawled to her, whispering desperate words as he gathered her into his arms.</p><p>"<em>Can you hear me? Hold on!"</em></p><p>
  <em>Please, don't leave me here alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can't live without you.</em>
</p><p>He would have rather endured an entire lifetime of having his life-force slowly stripped away, cell by cell and fibre by fibre, than face the possible reality of losing Rey, his Force-mate, the light to his darkness, his other half.</p><p>Two, that are one.</p><p>A dyad in the Force should never be separated, for then it ceases to remain a dyad and becomes… only one.</p><p>Alone.</p><p>
  <em>Solo.</em>
</p><p>A name tossed at Ben's father by an indifferent and overworked Imperial Officer during a frantic moment while he was trying to escape from Corellia. Nothing but an afterthought, which then went on to define him for pretty much the rest of his life.</p><p>And for a time, Ben had allowed it to define him as well.</p><p>Their cabin, for example, if one could indeed call it that, was built by Ben over the course of a few of his mother's many diplomatic missions to Naboo during the early tenuous years of the New Republic, before he was sent off to train with his uncle. Bored with studying with his tutor and not at all interested in politics, Ben had wandered out into the woods one day and just started gathering up fallen tree branches, stacking them on top of each other until they resembled something that looked like a hut, if he tilted his head and squinted a bit. Still, his nine-year-old self was pleased enough with his progress that he continued to work on it whenever he could find the time. Digging a foundation, strengthening the walls, reinforcing the roof, the hut became his own special project, almost an obsession. Something that belonged to him and him alone.</p><p>But even so, it wasn't until Ben had enlisted the help of Chewie that the hut became stable enough to support itself against anything stronger than a soft breeze. Chewie had also recommended and installed the window, insisting to Ben that he wouldn't enjoy just sitting around all alone in the dark.</p><p>Alone.</p><p>
  <em>Solo.</em>
</p><p><em>You're not alone,</em> he heard again in his mind. <em>I'm here.</em></p><p>Ben's throat tightened, and he drew Rey even closer, softly kissing the top of her head. She deserved so much more than to be holed up in a hovel in the middle of the Naboo woods, on the run from whatever the Resistance was calling itself these days, but he also knew that her temper tended to flare when he dared to even think those thoughts while she was awake, so he usually reserved them only for when she was sleeping.</p><p>She had spent most of her life barely scratching out a living on Jakku. Malnourished, freezing, fighting on a near-daily basis to keep what she rightfully earned, Ben knew without a doubt that there wasn't a single person in the entire galaxy who was tougher or stronger than Rey.</p><p>Or more stubborn, as he realised during his convalescence on Coruscant, when he'd tried to convince her to leave him and join back up with the Resistance. He was a wanted man, he'd told her, the most wanted man in the galaxy now that his mother was no longer there to serve as a buffer, and Rey didn't deserve a lifetime spent being on the run with him. His father had spent a good portion of his life on the run from someone or other, and Ben had been a firsthand witness to the amount of damage it often caused his relationships.</p><p>But the words were barely out of his mouth when her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed, and she explained to him very clearly and concisely that under no circumstances was she ever going to leave him alone.</p><p>"<em>You won't be alone," </em>she told him. "<em>I'll be with you."</em></p><p>And so, as soon as Ben was pronounced well enough to travel, he and Rey crowded back into Master Luke's old X-wing and flew to Naboo. It was a long, uncomfortable flight, with Ben's body contorted around Rey's while she piloted the ship, landing it in the woods far away from any of the major cities and an almost three-day hike from the cabin, which Ben had been relieved to find was still standing upright after being abandoned for so many years.</p><p>It, like he and Rey, had managed to survive yet another war.</p><p>He pressed his lips to the top of her head again, breathing in the glorious scent of her hair. They had spent several hours that day at the river, bathing, washing their clothes, and catching waterfowl and fish. Rey enjoyed listening to the water flowing across the rocks, so towards evening they found a shaded area on the riverbank—Ben's skin was too pale to sit in the sun for long, as they had learned the hard way—and sat for a time. Rey combed her fingers through his hair while he told her another story, this one about the time he was wandering around on the Falcon when he was around three years old, and ended up getting stuck inside one of the smuggling compartments.</p><p>"Weren't you scared?" she had asked.</p><p>He told her yes, because he had been. The smuggling compartments were black as a starless night with the covers closed and smelled absolutely horrible. But what Ben hadn't told her was that the reason he'd opened one of them in the first place had been because he knew his father was getting ready to leave again, and he wanted to see what was more important to him than staying with him.</p><p>Ben hadn't told Rey that part of the story, but he knew she'd managed to figure it out anyway when she cupped his face in her tiny hands and kissed him, slowly and deeply, repeating yet again that she would never leave him.</p><p><em>I am with you,</em> she said, over and over into his mind as she stripped the clean clothes from his body, her lips and hands brushing and sliding across his skin, once again igniting the spark deep inside his chest, the spark that had never once been extinguished, even when he had tried so hard to forget her.</p><p>
  <em>You're not alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neither are you.</em>
</p><p>And if he had his way, she would never be.</p><p>But first, he had to prove himself worthy. For even as he had shed all of the visible symbols of Kylo Ren, the mask, gloves, dark cape, and lightsaber, Ben knew deep down that there was still darkness inside him, darkness that wouldn't be truly banished until he was deemed worthy to build a new lightsaber.</p><p>And maybe, just maybe, once that happened, he and Rey could return to the Resistance, and—</p><p>Actually, Ben didn't enjoy thinking about it all that much. He knew what had happened to many of the former Imperial soldiers from the last war who didn't die on the Death Star, as his mother had been involved in many of their trials and sentencing, and he also knew how much he was despised by the current Resistance leaders.</p><p>And he supposed he really couldn't blame them.</p><p>But if he was able to construct a new lightsaber before then, it would at least be a visible symbol of his change to the Resistance, and perhaps enough to convince them to grant Rey some clemency, if not him. Anyone familiar with Jedi lore would know that the kyber crystals used by the Jedi for lightsaber construction could only be summoned once they deemed the receiver worthy, so…</p><p>Well, it was his hope, at least. And at the moment he supposed that hope would have to be enough. Because as much as Rey liked to protest, Ben knew that she deserved far better than the life he could give her the way things were. She deserved for her name to be spoken with reverence among the Resistance for her defeat of Emperor Palpatine, deserved to live in a palace with every possible comfort for the rest of her life, and never have to wonder where her next meal was coming from.</p><p>She deserved so much better than him, but at the same time, he also knew that there was no way he would be able to become what he needed to be without her.</p><p>"Ben," Rey murmured suddenly in her sleep, and he glanced down at her just as her fingers glided up his neck to thread into his hair. She looked distressed, with a slight frown between her eyebrows, so he pressed a soft kiss there, trying to smooth the lines away.</p><p>Sometimes she had nightmares too.</p><p>"Shh, sweetheart, I'm here," he whispered. "I've got you."</p><p><em>Be with me, </em>he heard across the bond. <em>Don't leave me here alone.</em></p><p>
  <em>You're not alone. You'll never be alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Come and find me on tumblr, I’m <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geekys-starwars%20">geekys-starwars</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geeky-writes">geeky-writes</a> there!  😊 </strong> </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t wait to see what you think!  Please don’t hesitate to hit that kudos button and leave me a comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for the kudos and kind comments!</p><p>This chapter is a bit darker, and contains a scene that may involve some self-harm. I've deliberately left it vague so readers can make their own interpretations, but please be aware. I'm sure we can all understand that Ben Solo has quite a bit of unresolved trauma to work through.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Nine months post-Exegol</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>-And when you called yourself by that new name, you saw your truth. It represents what you want to do on a deep level. The part of yourself you want to cut away. The part you want to kill. Perhaps someday you will do it, and the galaxy will hear that name and see you-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Kylo Ren-</em>
</p><p>"No!" Rey cried into the darkness, choking on her breath as she bolted upright on the bed. She was alone again, which she hated, but Ben had had a particularly nasty nightmare earlier in the night and told her that he needed to get some air. She hadn't wanted him to leave since she could sense the torment and self-loathing emanating from him in waves, but he had been so anxious about possibly hurting her that she eventually gave in and let him go.</p><p>She knew he was at least fairly close by, as she could still sense him easily, but she couldn't pretend that she wasn't upset by all of it. Ben's nightmares had been growing steadily worse over the last several days, sometimes even causing the walls of the cabin to shake, and she hated that he felt like he needed to try to work through them alone, without her help.</p><p>Shivering, Rey pulled the blankets up to her neck, burying her nose in the thick fabric and inhaling deeply, allowing Ben's heady, masculine scent to permeate throughout her body. There wasn't anything specific she could pinpoint that could explain the sudden worsening of Ben's dreams, nothing that had changed in their daily routine that she could identify as a trigger point, and it frustrated her immensely. Ben was hurting, and his pain was her pain, and one of the most agonising things that she'd ever felt in her life. She had sensed the deep-seated conflict inside him from the very beginning, conflict stoked by the fires of whispered voices and feelings of abandonment. Needling him, taunting him, telling him over and over that he was a disappointment, that he would never be good enough.</p><p>That he would always fail.</p><p>Sensations that only intensified once Rey finally admitted that she loved him.</p><p>Guilt pierced her chest as she recalled Ben lying on the burning floor of Snoke's throne room. She'd left him there, unconscious and vulnerable, right after he had just killed the creature who had tormented him his entire life, only because he didn't immediately switch gears and try to aid the very Resistance that he knew wanted him dead.</p><p>Not even she was able to change flight paths that fast, and yet she had expected him to just do it because that's what she had wanted, without giving any thought towards the bigger picture.</p><p>Rey had abandoned him, just as he felt he had always been abandoned.</p><p>Just like she had been abandoned.</p><p>
  <em>Never again.</em>
</p><p>The sight of Ben crouched on the floor of that ancient Resistance base on Crait when she literally closed the hatch of the Falcon in his face, the hatch to what was arguably <em>his </em>ship…</p><p>That look in his deep brown eyes of pure anguish… it still haunted her.</p><p>"<em>Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to."</em></p><p>But she couldn't seem to let it go. The guilt… it clung to her like grains of the Jakku sand, scratching her raw whenever she tried to brush it away.</p><p>She knew that Ben had forgiven her, just as she had forgiven him for interrogating her on Starkiller Base, but yet… she couldn't help but think how things might've been different if she hadn't. If she had taken the hand that he offered her, listened to him as he pleaded…</p><p>"<em>Join me."</em></p><p>"<em>Please?"</em></p><p>How many lives might have been saved if the war had ended an entire year earlier? On both sides?</p><p>She supposed it didn't do any good to dwell on it now. Not while Ben was hurting so badly.</p><p>Blinking back tears, Rey lay back down, pulling the blankets up to her nose as she curled into a tight ball, trying to keep from shivering. She'd put on Ben's tunic after he left to try and stay warm, and she burrowed down into it as far as she could, trying to surround herself with the last of its remaining warmth as she succumbed to the exhaustion still coursing through her.</p><p>
  <em>-The mighty Kylo Ren. When I found you, I saw what all Masters live to see. Raw, untamed power! And beyond that, something truly special. The potential of your bloodline… a new Vader-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Now… I fear… I was mistaken-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-I've given everything I have to you… to the Dark Side-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo!-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-I killed Han Solo! When the moment came, I didn't hesitate!-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-And look at you! The deed split your spirit to the bone! You are unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! You failed!-</em>
</p><p>The scream forced its way from Rey's throat before she even realised what was happening, her entire body lanced with a current so white-hot that it contorted her limbs and stole all the breath from her lungs, leaving her momentarily paralysed. As soon as she was able to move again she threw off the blankets, forgoing her boots as she raced out the cabin door on trembling legs, heading in the direction of the river.</p><p>"Ben!" she shrieked, crying out as she stumbled, slamming her bare toes into the large root of a tree and nearly falling flat on her face. The pain and despair were so intense that she felt as though she were drowning, as though everything dark and shadowy had wrapped around her ankles like gnarled tentacles, holding her just far enough beneath the surface where no light could reach.</p><p>She had only felt something that devoid of light once before; on Exegol, when she first laid eyes on the wrinkled, twisted, and gaunt visage of Emperor Palpatine.</p><p>"Ben!" she screamed again, the frigid pre-dawn air stinging her lungs like tiny ice crystals as she swerved to avoid a low-hanging branch. "Ben, don't!"</p><p>
  <em>-Use your fear. Let it crystallise into anger. Turn that anger into power-</em>
</p><p>"No! Stop! Leave him alone!" Rey cried, ducking just in time to avoid yet another tree branch. She could hear the words in her mind as clearly as if Snoke was standing right next to her, causing her panic to spike again. It shouldn't be possible for Ben to still be hearing Snoke's voice in his mind. Snoke was dead, and Palpatine with him. She had personally seen to it.</p><p>Which could only mean that it was Ben himself who was replaying them, like a holo designed for nothing more than to continue his torture.</p><p><em>Please, Ben, stop! </em>she begged with her mind. <em>Please, don't do this!</em> Something sharp scratched across the side of her face as she rounded the final corner, stopping short so fast that she skidded on the damp, spongy forest floor.</p><p>Ben was hunched over on the very edge of the riverbank, soaking wet and shivering and clutching a rock the size of his head in his blood-covered hands. He looked up as she called out his name, a shocked gasp tearing from her frozen throat when she saw the jagged gash running the length of his right cheek, the very same cheek that she had slashed back on Starkiller Base.</p><p>"Oh my—what—?" she stammered, her heart in her throat as she stumbled over to him, ripping the rock from his hands and sending it flying into the river with a loud <em>splash</em>. She reached out to cup his cheeks but then drew back, hesitating as she locked eyes with him, the terror and panic she sensed from him hitting her like a blaster shot to the chest. Ben was as frightened as a wounded animal, so she needed to tread carefully.</p><p>Slowly, and without breaking their eye contact, Rey reached for Ben's blood-soaked right hand, wrapping her fingers around his wrist as she gently worked open his tight fist so she could inspect the bleeding cuts.</p><p>"I'm going to heal these cuts now," she said, gently but firmly, leaving no room for argument. Even so, she waited until Ben gave her the slightest of nods before she began.</p><p>Thankfully the cuts on Ben's hands were mainly superficial, so Rey's eye contact was only broken for a short time. Once she had healed them both she clasped them between her own, trying to infuse them with at least some warmth. Ben was shivering violently, his pale skin the same sickening dull grey colour of the fish they often caught, and Rey knew she needed to get him inside, but she also knew that there was no way she could carry him and he was in no way ready to move yet.</p><p>"Ben. Ben, I'm here," she murmured, brushing the soaked strands of hair from his forehead. The gash on his cheek was still there, but on second glance Rey saw that it wasn't as deep as it had initially looked and it wasn't actively bleeding, so she figured it could wait until she was able to get him warm.</p><p>"Ben," she said again, waiting until he acknowledged that he'd heard her before continuing. "I need to get you a bit warmer, so I'm going to sit on your lap, okay?"</p><p>At Ben's nod, Rey positioned his long, lean legs in front of him and crawled onto his lap, rucking up the front of his shirt and her tunic so she could press their bellies together. She flinched at the first touch of his skin against hers, as cold as the furthest corners of space, before burying her face into his neck and sliding her palms up underneath his shirt to splay them across his broad back. Tears stung her eyes when Ben echoed her movements, gliding his shaking hands under her tunic to hold her close.</p><p><em>You're not alone,</em> she thought, over and over across the bond<em>. I am with you.</em></p><p>They remained that way for several minutes, until a choked sob tore from Ben's throat and his forehead thudded against Rey's shoulder, his arms tightening around her so tightly that she let out a light squeak.</p><p>"Rey," he said, tight and raspy, the single word so thick with emotion that a knot rose in Rey's throat.</p><p>"I'm here," she murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his neck, just below his ear. He was starting to come back to her, as his shivering wasn't quite as violent and his limbs were a bit more pliant, but she knew he still wasn't ready to tell her what had happened. Ben's mind was a swirling whirlpool of dark emotions, like the pool she had encountered while training on Ahch-To, and with his stubbornness Rey had learned that she needed to be patient with him. He would open up to her when he was ready, and not before.</p><p><em>Be with me, </em>she heard across the bond. <em>Please.</em></p><p>
  <em>I am with you. You're not alone.</em>
</p><p>Several more minutes passed, and Rey waited patiently, listening to the river flowing across the rocks and the birds chirping in the trees overhead, accompanied by the strong thud of Ben's heartbeat against her chest. Jakku had been almost completely devoid of both rivers and birds, at least as far as she'd known, and there had been many a day since she and Ben had arrived on Naboo where they'd spent hours just sitting along the riverbank and soaking up the sounds of bustling life.</p><p>Finally, Ben slid his hands further up to cup Rey's shoulders, tilting his head up to press a kiss to her collarbone. A bolt of heat shot through Rey's body at the gentle touch, her shoulders sagging in relief.</p><p>He was back.</p><p>"Ben," she whispered, softly, reverently.</p><p>"I'm here," he replied, just as softly. "And I'm sorry—"</p><p>"No," Rey cut in. She cupped his left cheek in her hand, her thumb brushing across Ben's lips. "No apologies, all right?"</p><p>Ben's lower lip trembled, his dark eyes glassy with unshed tears that did nothing to hide his shame.</p><p>"I'm going to heal your cheek now," she added, smiling slightly at Ben's answering nod. She raised her palm next to his face, closing her eyes as she concentrated on knitting the bruised and broken flesh back together.</p><p>It was exactly how she had healed his stab wound on the Death Star and her kyber crystal on Coruscant. Creating an image of the damaged fibres in her mind and then reforming them, strengthening them, knitting them back together until they were once again made whole.</p><p>Making <em>him </em>whole again, and by extension, her.</p><p>"I frightened you," Ben said once she was finished, brushing a gentle kiss across his smooth cheekbone for good measure.</p><p>"Yes, you did," Rey replied matter-of-factly. "But I'm fairly certain that you managed to frighten yourself even more."</p><p>"Yes." Ben gave a stuttered nod, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. "But I—I'm—I shouldn't—it's not fair to you, and—" He paused as he blinked, his eyes first narrowing then widening in shock as he gingerly touched the stinging scratch on Rey's cheek. "You're hurt! Let me—let me—!"</p><p>"Shh, no. I'm all right," Rey soothed. She combed her fingers through Ben's damp hair, the strands so long that they reached past his shoulders. "I just want to help you. Can you tell me what happened?"</p><p>Ben huffed out a sharp breath, his chin quivering. "It was—it's been three years. Three years since—since I—" He broke off as the tears finally spilled over, trailing down his ghostly pale cheeks. "You—you were right… when you—when you said that I was haunted, that I couldn't stop seeing it, because… I can't. I just… <em>can't.</em>"</p><p>"<em>I can see through the cracks in your mask,"</em> she had said to him while on Pasaana, searching for the Wayfinder. "<em>You can't stop seeing what you did to your father."</em></p><p>"Oh," Rey gasped as another sharp stab of guilt pierced her heart. She squeezed her eyes closed, shaking her head as she tried to stamp it back down, back into the deep recesses of her gut where it belonged. This wasn't about her.</p><p>"I shouldn't—I shouldn't've said that," she murmured. She pressed her forehead to his, brushing the tears from his cheeks with her thumbs. "Ben, I was angry, and afraid… but… I—I shouldn't've said that to you."</p><p>"But you were right. I can't stop seeing it." Another tear streaked down Ben's cheek that Rey hastily brushed away. "Every single day for the last three years I've been haunted by it. Snoke… had tasked me with finding Master Luke… and when I couldn't, I thought—I thought that—"</p><p>"No, Ben, <em>please," </em>Rey begged. "You are a completely different person now than you were on that day, and I know that you mourn your father because I've felt it, and I've seen it. Just like you also mourn your mother and Master Luke."</p><p>Ben lifted his head, his tortured brown eyes meeting hers. The feelings of abandonment he still carried from all three of his parental figures were still so fresh, like a wound covered only by the thinnest of scabs, ready to bleed again at only the slightest jostle or provocation.</p><p>"Yes, I do, but—"</p><p>"You've been trying to hide this from me," Rey said. "It's why your dreams were getting worse, and why you insisted on leaving during the night, isn't it?" While it wasn't her intention to peel the scab away from his mental wounds, she needed to make it clear that whatever had happened that morning by the river could not happen again.</p><p>When Ben didn't answer right away, Rey tucked his head back down on her shoulder, threading her fingers through his hair. They'd already had this discussion several times before, but Ben being… well… <em>Ben</em>, it hadn't exactly gotten resolved to Rey's liking.</p><p>"I wish you didn't feel that you need to hide things from me," she said gently. "You know how I feel about it."</p><p>"Yes, I do," Ben said, muffled against her skin. "But—"</p><p>"No. No buts." Rey pulled back, meeting Ben's eyes. "You are not the same person who did all those awful things, and you know it. There's no way that I would be here if you were." She drew in a deep breath, pressing a light kiss to Ben's trembling chin. "And I'm certain that there's no way those memories would still be torturing you if you were."</p><p>Ben gave a stuttered shake of his head. "No."</p><p>"No," Rey echoed. "Because I know for a fact that Snoke preyed upon your feelings of rejection and abandonment and used them to keep you isolated."</p><p>"Yes," Ben whispered. "I couldn't—there was no one I could trust. No one."</p><p>"And you didn't feel any more accepted under his rule than you did under Master Luke's, but by the time you realised it you felt it was too late to go back." Rey ducked her head under Ben's chin, her ear pressed over his heartbeat. "But it's not. It's never too late, Ben. And your parents, they both loved you even as they feared you were lost to them, and so did Master Luke. I saw it. I saw it in all three of them."</p><p>"But… they're all dead because of me," Ben said, so softly that Rey had to strain to hear him. "All three of them."</p><p>"They all died trying to bring you home because they all believed it was possible," Rey said, her voice catching as she recalled the very moment when she felt Leia reaching out to Ben through the Force, begging him to renounce his Sith persona and return to the side of light.</p><p>And then again on Exegol, when Leia transferred the last remaining fraction of her life force so that Ben could live on. Rey was absolutely certain that her heart didn't beat even once during those seconds when Ben hovered in the shadows between death and life, coming so close to being torn away from her forever.</p><p>
  <em>Be with me. Don't leave me here alone.</em>
</p><p><em>You're not alone,</em> she heard in her mind. <em>I'm here.</em></p><p>"You're my home," Ben murmured into her hair.</p><p>"And you're mine." Rey shivered as a light gust of wind blew across the river, cool and crisp against her exposed skin. The sun was just starting to peek through the trees, the chirps of the birds growing louder as they began their morning routines. "Do you think you can head back now? I think you could probably use some hot tea and dry clothes."</p><p>Ben gave a nod, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of her head before helping her to her feet, then immediately sweeping her into his arms when he noticed that she was barefoot. Rey opened her mouth to protest that barefoot or not, she was perfectly fine to walk on her own, thank you very much, but then quickly thought against it. She would never admit it out loud, but there was something terribly romantic about being carried by the big strong man that she loved more than anything.</p><p>And even though she would never admit it out loud, she knew very well that Ben knew how much she enjoyed it, a fact made even more apparent when he glanced down at her and winked, sending a burst of warm fuzzies fluttering through her body.</p><p>Ben—<em>her</em> Ben—was back.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>"Here you go," Rey said as she handed Ben a steaming mug of the tea concoction she'd been perfecting ever since they arrived on Naboo. Apparently his mother had introduced her to the beverage during the year she spent with the Resistance on Ajan Kloss, and Rey had grown so fond of it that she'd insisted on trying to replicate Leia's favourite blend. Ben still remembered Rey's triumphant, "<em>Yay!"</em> from the fire pit when she finally got it right, the wide, excited smile that stretched across her beautiful lips, the adorable crinkles in the corners of her hazel eyes that he never grew tired of seeing, and that dimple in her right cheek that he was convinced could either start wars or end them.</p><p>They were curled up next to that very fire pit now, with Ben's bare feet stretched out by the roaring flames and every blanket they owned draped across his shoulders. He accepted the mug with a grateful nod, taking a small, tentative sip, trying to hold it in his mouth for as long as possible before swallowing so he could savour the different flavours of all the herbs Rey had so masterfully blended.</p><p>He had found he'd been doing that a lot since he and Rey arrived on Naboo, and she as well. It was such a simple thing, really, to take pleasure in the preparation and eating of a meal, but it was also a pleasure that neither Ben nor Rey were used to indulging. The rations that Rey earned as a scavenger were always the same bland portions day in and day out, and while Ben had access to much finer cuisine in the First Order, he never actually allowed himself to enjoy it, preferring to retreat to his quarters to eat by himself.</p><p>Alone.</p><p>
  <em>Solo.</em>
</p><p>"Good?" Rey asked as she sat down next to him with her own mug. She ducked under his arm, curling up next to him with her legs draped across his lap. Ben instinctively wrapped his free arm around her waist, tucking her as close to him as possible.</p><p>"Yes," he murmured, punctuating his answer with a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you."</p><p>Rey gave a nod, taking a small sip from her own mug before resting her head against his shoulder.</p><p>"Do you feel like telling me what happened now?" she asked a few heartbeats later, and Ben's heart clenched at the barely-disguised worry in her voice. She already worried about him enough, sometimes even lying awake at night to watch over him while he slept, his head resting on her chest while her fingers combed through his hair, just waiting to comfort him through yet another bad dream.</p><p>"You mentioned something about it being three years since… well, since?" Rey said before Ben could even open his mouth. "Do you think that's why your dreams have gotten so bad lately?"</p><p>Ben took another sip of his tea, closing his eyes as he nodded.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"All right. Then how 'bout you tell me what's been happening, and let's get this sorted out," Rey said. She could've been trying to diagnose a malfunctioning droid for how matter-of-fact she sounded, which Ben actually found rather amusing since he knew exactly how resourceful she could be with anything that needed fixing.</p><p>And Rey loved him, of that Ben had absolutely no doubt, and therefore he had no doubt that she would pour her entire heart and soul into finding every single last one of the murky thoughts that still tormented him, and then obliterate them.</p><p>"The star," he began, whispering. "Starkiller Base, it was drawing its power from the star, and—" He broke off, raising his head to look at Rey. "You were there, remember? With FN-2187—"</p><p>"Finn," Rey corrected. "He goes by Finn now. And yes, we were there, but I couldn't hear everything that you and Han were saying."</p><p>"It doesn't matter," Ben said quickly. He took another gulp of tea, shuddering as the burning hot liquid scorched its way down his throat, sending heat spreading across his chest like a warm blanket.</p><p>"My dad… he told me to take the mask off, so I did. And then I taunted him, saying that he was weak, and foolish, and that I—I'd thrown all that off when I joined the First Order."</p><p>"All right," Rey said after a short pause. She hadn't moved a single inch; if anything, she'd cuddled in even closer.</p><p>"He told me that Snoke was just using me, and that he would toss me aside when he was done with me, and—" His throat caught, his eyes filling with tears. How badly had Ben wanted to believe his father in that moment, how badly had he wanted to believe that he could've just left it all behind? Snoke, the First Order, the Sith, the Jedi…</p><p>All of it.</p><p>"Then he said that I could leave there with him, that I could go home… and… I—I looked over his shoulder at the star, and the light of it was fading, it was almost gone, and—and—"</p><p>He broke off again, the memory of how he'd felt in that moment, as if his soul was literally tearing right down the middle, so overwhelming that he nearly dropped his mug. Rey of course noticed right away, taking it from his hand and setting it down in front of him.</p><p>"Ben," she said softly as she clasped his hands and brought them to her lips, brushing them across his skin like the softest and frailest of silks. "It's all right. I'm here."</p><p>
  <em>You're not alone.</em>
</p><p>"I almost did it," he whispered, staring into the flickering flames of the fire. "I dropped the helmet, and… I held out my lightsaber, but then—then the star went out, and the light was gone, and there was nothing left except darkness. I couldn't—I couldn't even see you and FN—Finn anymore. All I could see was my father, standing in a beam of red, and I just—"</p><p>"Ben, it's okay," Rey interrupted. "You don't—you don't need to say it out loud."</p><p>Anguish welled deep inside Ben's gut at Rey's words, and he doubled over as the tears finally fell, streaking his face and dripping onto his lap. It had been three years since he'd plunged his unstable lightsaber right through his father, three years since he'd seen that look of stunned horror on his dad's face as he yanked it back out.</p><p>Three years since his dad had touched his cheek in a final gesture of fatherly affection, right before he fell into the abyss.</p><p>The very same cheek that he'd cupped in Ben's memory, standing on the ruins of the second Death Star. The memory that finally gave Ben the courage to launch his lightsaber into the raging ocean, taking with it the final vestiges of Kylo Ren.</p><p>But even if Ben felt that his dad had forgiven him for what he did, how could Ben possibly forgive himself for something so terrible?</p><p>"I could barely breathe afterwards," Ben continued. "I felt like—like my uniform was squeezing me so tight that I was suffocating, and then I heard you, and I heard Chewie, but it was so distant, like I was underwater, drowning, and… I almost—I almost followed him, Rey. I almost jumped right into that abyss after him, but then—"</p><p>"Chewie shot you," Rey said, her voice flat. "And then the stormtroopers starting shooting at him, and—"</p><p>
  <em>And all hell broke loose.</em>
</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Rey set down her own mug, shifting until she was sitting in his lap face-to-face, her small hands stroking his hair.</p><p>"Ben, you told me yourself that Han forgave you for what you did," she said. "You told me that you saw him, there on the Death Star, and that—"</p><p>"But what if I only saw what I wanted to see?" Ben asked. He looked away, swiping at his running nose. "What if I was looking for something that I didn't deserve, just because I wanted to make myself feel better?"</p><p><em>Like you, </em>he added in his mind. <em>I didn't deserve you.</em></p><p>
  <em>I still don't.</em>
</p><p>"You do," Rey stated, her eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown. "And that's all we're going to say about that."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"What if he were here, right now?" Rey said, as if she hadn't heard him. "If Han Solo were here right now, what would you say to him?"</p><p>Ben's eyes went wide at the abrupt question. "I don't—I don't know."</p><p>"Then I think that's part of the problem," Rey said gently, a tiny shiver racing down Ben's spine with every light scrape of her fingernails against his scalp. Stars, he loved when she did that! "You're still trying to hold on to the pain you felt on that day as a way to punish yourself, even as you know deep down that's not what Han would've wanted."</p><p>"But I <em>killed</em> him!" Ben exclaimed, the lump in his throat so large that he nearly choked. "I looked him right in the eye as I stabbed him! I don't deserve to be forgiven!"</p><p>"But Han didn't believe that!" Rey said, just as forceful. "And neither did Leia. And neither do I."</p><p>"Rey—"</p><p>"You told me yourself that your lightsaber was unstable, yes?" she asked. "Because of when it bled to red?"</p><p>"Yes," Ben whispered, swallowing hard. "It's—it's why I had to add the side vents, to—to release some of the energy."</p><p>"Or it would've exploded."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Rey was quiet for a moment, her small, lithe body curled up against his, his arms wrapped around her under the blankets. She was so petite that Ben was a head taller than her; if he'd have been in the Resistance he would've been deemed too tall to fly the X-wing fighters, and even his own personal First Order TIE Interceptor had had to be specially altered to fit him.</p><p>He could pick Rey up and carry her with only one arm, but yet she was still so much stronger than him.</p><p>"And how did you feel when you threw it into the ocean?" she finally asked. "The saber?"</p><p>Ben sucked in a deep breath, his nose buried in Rey's neck.</p><p>"Free," he said. "Like I could breathe again. And for the first time in so long I knew exactly what I needed to do."</p><p>
  <em>I needed to find you.</em>
</p><p>"But you were still scared," Rey said.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Well, Master Luke told me that confronting fear was the destiny of a Jedi."</p><p>The corners of Ben's lips curled into the slightest of smiles.</p><p>"He told me that too. A few times."</p><p>"You didn't allow your fear to keep you from getting to Exegol," Rey said. "Even calling the First Order for help to get there."</p><p>"I didn't care how I got there, Rey, I couldn't let you face Palpatine alone! He would've killed you!"</p><p>
  <em>He almost did kill you.</em>
</p><p>Shuddering, Ben slid his hand up Rey's back, tucking her even closer as his fingers caressed the soft skin on the back of her neck. Palpatine <em>had</em> killed her. She had been dead, almost lost to him forever, and—</p><p><em>I'm here, love, </em>he heard in his mind. <em>You're not alone.</em></p><p>"Neither are you," he said, nearly sobbing the words. "And you never will be."</p><p>"Shh," Rey whispered as she lifted her head, cupping Ben's face and kissing him. It was a sweet kiss, meant to convey comfort and hope as well as intimacy, and Ben practically melted into it.</p><p>"Don't do that to me again, all right?" Rey said once they broke apart, her fingertips trailing down his cheek, tracing along the scar that was no longer there. "Don't feel like you have to shut me out when your thoughts grow dark. I'm not only here for the good days, Ben. I'm here for all of them."</p><p>Ben gave a rather reluctant nod, his forehead thudding against Rey's shoulder.</p><p>"I know. And I—I love you so much, I can't—I can't—"</p><p>"Shh," she said again, brushing her fingers across his lips. "I do have a suggestion though."</p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"I'd like us to write letters, one each to Han, Leia, and Master Luke, telling them everything that we should've told them but lost out on the chance. And once we're done we can bury them by the river, and then maybe you'll have a bit more of a measure of peace about all of it. All right?"</p><p>Ben had to admit that it was a brilliant idea, as were most of Rey's ideas, even as the thought of what he could possibly write was nearly paralysing.</p><p>"The words will come to you when you're ready," Rey said, as if she'd read his mind, which she likely had. "We don't have to do it today. In fact, I'm fairly certain that we're almost out of paper anyway, and don't you have some deliveries to make?"</p><p>As a matter of fact, Ben had just the day before completed his latest assignment from the owner of the old-fashioned book binding shop he and Rey had discovered on their second trip into the nearby city. They had arrived on Naboo virtually penniless, with only a few credits that Ben had stolen from the First Order ship that transported him to Exegol to their name, and Ben was convinced that it was the Force that had led he and Rey down that narrow alley where they'd discovered the small bookshop, filled to the brim with shelf after shelf of dusty volumes dating back hundreds of years, and a sign tacked to the front window advertising for a paid copywriter.</p><p>At Rey's urging they'd gone inside the shop, approaching the owner and offering a sample of Ben's writing skills. It had been so long since Ben had held a quill in his hand that at first he was worried that he'd forgotten how, but he'd only managed to write out three words before the owner told him he was hired, saying that he'd never seen such brilliant longhand calligraphy in all his years of printing. Ben's stipend of two hundred credits per week, while modest, still allowed he and Rey to purchase everything they needed that they couldn't glean from the forest themselves, including extra paper, quills, and ink for Ben to use to teach Rey how to write.</p><p>And, like most things that Rey learned, it wasn't long at all before she was excellent at it.</p><p>"We'll go tomorrow," Ben said as he picked up his mug of tea, draining the rest of it in three large gulps.</p><p>Rey smiled, a radiant, absolutely beautiful smile that showed off her dimple in all its glory, a smile that Ben couldn't help but return.</p><p>"That sounds wonderful," she said.</p><p>They set out after breakfast the following morning, arriving in town just as the shops were unlocking their doors. The bookshop owner was as jovial as ever, gushing over Ben's work as he handed him his credits and his next assignment. He also offered them a spare half-ream of paper for free, saying he couldn't use it due to some slight boxing around the corners. Rey thanked him profusely, causing the man to blush up to the roots of his sparse, paper-white hair.</p><p>"You hold onto that one, you hear, son?" the owner whispered to Ben as they readied to leave. "'Cause you won't find another girl like that if you searched the entire galaxy."</p><p>"I know," Ben told him, a lot more emphatically than was probably necessary. He didn't need to be told how wonderful Rey was, he saw it in every single moment of every single day. But that didn't mean he didn't enjoy hearing it from others as well.</p><p>Once they left the bookshop they wandered around a bit, visiting various shops and people-watching. The soles of Rey's boots were nearly worn through so Ben had her choose a new pair, after which she insisted that he get a haircut. He had already broken three of her hair ties trying to keep his hair out of his face while training, so he supposed it was time.</p><p>They didn't work on the letters right away. In fact, it was almost a week later before Rey even brought it up again, telling Ben one rainy afternoon that she was going to start working on her letter to Master Luke. She didn't try to hint or prod at him to begin his own, she simply sat down at their tiny table, turned up their oil lamp, and started to write.</p><p>And it was only a day later that Ben knew exactly what he needed to say.</p><p>He asked Rey to sit with him while he wrote, the words pouring from the end of his quill and onto the page, everything he wished he could've said to the three of them but didn't for some reason or another. To his mother, he wrote how grateful he was that she had taught him how to braid, saying that it was one of Rey's favourite things when he braided her hair for her. How much he missed the smell of her perfume and the way she used to kiss his temple. And that he forgave her for never telling him that Darth Vader was his grandfather.</p><p>To his father, Ben wrote how much he'd admired him, a self-made man in a galaxy full of wannabe self-mades who'd never made it. How thankful he was for the piloting skills he'd inherited and for introducing him to Chewie and Lando, two of Ben's most favourite people as a young child.</p><p>And that he forgave him for not ever visiting him while he was training with Master Luke.</p><p>He saved Master Luke's letter for the end, knowing it would be the most difficult, and in fact had to write and rewrite it several times until he felt it was ready. In it, Ben wrote how much he'd always looked up to him, as both the Jedi hero who'd saved the galaxy by destroying the ruler of the Galactic Empire, and as his uncle, his only living relative besides his parents. How much he had enjoyed their travels during his training, exploring ancient Jedi lore and artefacts.</p><p>How he forgave him for being frightened of the growing darkness inside him, because it had pretty much scared everyone. Including Ben.</p><p>And he ended the letter by telling Master Luke how sorry he was that in their last face-to-face meeting, Ben chose to not accept his apology and instead tried to kill him.</p><p>Rey read over the letter once he was done, the pale lamplight giving her smooth skin an almost ethereal glow from her place next to him at the table.</p><p>"It's perfect," she said. "I think we should bury them tomorrow."</p><p>Ben nodded, softly kissing her forehead. He held her close the entire night, occasionally dozing off only to awaken out of fear that his dark thoughts might return before he had the chance to properly bury them.</p><p>The morning dawned clear and cool, the kind of day that Leia used to love. As soon as the sun was fully up, Ben and Rey dressed in their best clothes and headed down the path towards the river, their letters carefully rolled into scrolls and tied with thin white ribbons. They buried them by hand right along the riverbank, side-by-side, carefully covering them with dirt and rocks and marking each spot with another ribbon tied to a stick.</p><p>Once they were done they stepped back, watching the ribbons dance in the light breeze as the river flowed downstream and the birds chirped overhead. After a moment, Rey slipped her small hand into Ben's, squeezing it gently.</p><p>"How do you feel?" she asked.</p><p>Ben hesitated before replying, curling his arm around Rey's shoulders and hugging her close before breathing in a long, deep breath. There was a sweetly fragrant scent in the air, just like he remembered from his childhood, and as he glanced down at Rey he noticed that the sunlight was highlighting the lighter brown strands in her hair and the light sprinkling of freckles across her nose.</p><p>She looked like an angel, one of those mythical creatures that pilots sometimes saw on deep space flights, and he couldn't help but break into a smile.</p><p>"Lighter," he finally said, turning to face her. "I feel lighter."</p><p>And he did. If he had to guess, the weight equivalent of the entire Starkiller Base had just been lifted from his shoulders.</p><p>"I can tell," Rey said, beaming as brightly as the sun streaming through her hair. "That's good, Ben. That's really, really good."</p><p>"Thank you, sweetheart," he murmured as he dipped his head to kiss her. He'd meant it to be a quick kiss, just enough to convey how grateful he was and how much he loved her, when Rey wound her arms around his neck to hold him in place and he suddenly needed her so badly that he thought he might combust right there by the river.</p><p>"Can we—can we go home now?" he stammered, his heart thudding madly. "Please?"</p><p>Rey didn't even answer, only pecked his lips again and grabbed onto his hand as they practically ran back to the cabin. As soon as the door closed behind him, Ben grabbed Rey around her waist, capturing her lips and reaching for the tie that held her dress together as Rey untucked his shirt from his trousers, slipping her slim fingers underneath.</p><p>"Need you," he said as he kissed down her jaw to her neck, his hands sliding Rey's dress from her shoulders to pool at her feet. He traced a finger down the strap of her delicate lace camisole, slowly slipping it over her shoulder and down her arm as Rey drew his shirt up his chest, making a frustrated noise when she couldn't reach high enough to tug it over his head.</p><p>"Off," she said, and Ben quickly complied, pulling off the shirt and tossing it to the floor. He gasped as Rey's cold palms landed on his bare skin, sliding his own hands under her thighs to pick her up and carry her to their bed. There he laid her down, his eyes sweeping hungrily across her nearly-bare body. She was so incredibly beautiful, could entice any man in the galaxy with just a single one of her dazzling smiles, and yet she loved <em>him.</em></p><p>Ben Solo.</p><p><em>I do</em>, he heard in his mind, and his heart swelled nearly to the point of bursting. <em>I do love you. More than anything.</em></p><p>He would never, ever tire of hearing it.</p><p>"I can feel it," he whispered. A few strands of Rey's hair had come loose from their braid, and he gently tucked them behind her ear, his previous sense of urgency replaced with a nearly overwhelming desire to spend the entire rest of the day worshipping her.</p><p><em>Be with me,</em> he thought as he slowly removed the rest of Rey's clothing, trailing his fingertips across her collarbones and down between her perfect breasts. <em>Stay here with me. Don't let me slip away.</em></p><p><em>I'll never leave you, </em>she thought in reply, gasping in pleasure when he lowered his mouth to her right nipple, nipping and teasing her sweet, sensitive skin.</p><p>"<em>Ben," </em>she said, moaning as he kissed across her chest to her left breast, her fingers tangling in his hair. "I'll always be right here with you."</p><p>"So beautiful, my love," he murmured, now trailing his fingers down, past her flat stomach to the apex of her thighs, the hitch in Rey's breath sending such intense pleasure across their bond that he nearly came right then. He was so hard that it was almost painful but he was trying to ignore it, wanting to focus all of his attention on her.</p><p>"Relax, sweetheart," he whispered as his fingers slipped down to her centre, finding her slick and ready for him. "I'm gonna take good care of you."</p><p>"Ben," Rey said, murmuring his name like a prayer, her tiny hands clutching his arms and his hair as he made her fall apart first with his hand, then with his mouth. "Ben, <em>please!"</em></p><p><em>Tell me you'll be right here with me, </em>he thought as he kissed his way back up to her mouth, his cock screaming for mercy. <em>Hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing.</em></p><p>"I'll always be with you," she said right before he covered her mouth with his, fumbling with his trousers as he kissed her deeply.</p><p>
  <em>Through the good and the bad, and all in between.</em>
</p><p>And then she hooked her legs around his waist, her heels nudging the back of his thighs as he slowly pushed inside her, tears welling in his eyes once they were joined.</p><p><em>What were the odds?</em> Ben wondered as he propped himself up on his arms and started to move, not taking his eyes off Rey's face, so flushed and dewy that she glowed like the light of her golden lightsaber. He had often wondered, given that Force dyads were so incredibly rare, if he and Rey would've ever even met had there not been yet another war. If her parents hadn't left her alone on Jakku, and if he hadn't accidentally destroyed Master Luke's temple. If… if…</p><p>Would they have still managed to find each other? Or would they both have been destined to spend their entire lives alone?</p><p>He supposed it didn't really matter, because in the end they had found each other.</p><p>
  <em>Never tell me the odds.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You're not alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neither are you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Be with me, Ben. Always.</em>
</p><p>He came with Rey's name falling in ecstasy from his lips as she clung to him, her blunt fingernails digging into his shoulders as she told him over and over that she loved him, that she would never leave him.</p><p>That he was going to be okay, and that she was certain of it, so he had no choice but to believe her.</p><p>They ended up making love twice more before dark, finally falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms. For the first time in years Ben's sleep was a dreamless one, a deep, heavy sleep that had eluded him for so long he had forgotten what it was like.</p><p>Until suddenly, right before dawn broke, something woke him. An unusual sensation, something that felt both odd and strangely familiar.</p><p>Something that sounded almost like a voice, carried on the wind. It wasn't Rey, nor was it his mother or father, or Master Luke. Or even Snoke.</p><p>A voice that simply whispered, "<em>Ben."</em></p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>I'm also on tumblr at <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geeky-writes">geeky-writes</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geekys-starwars%20">geekys-starwars</a> 😊 </em> </strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t wait to see what you think!  Please don’t forget to hit that kudos button and leave me a comment!  💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben immediately froze, not even daring to breathe out of fear. Writing and then burying the letters to his parents and uncle was supposed to have stopped the voices that he heard inside his head, not invite new ones to take up residence there.</p><p><em>Go away, </em>he thought. <em>I don't want to hear you</em> <em>anymore.</em></p><p>Propping himself up on his elbow, Ben peered out through the cabin's small window, searching for anything that might indicate what or who he had heard. But aside from a few tree branches swaying in the pre-dawn breeze and a handful of illuminated insects buzzing around, he saw nothing.</p><p>
  <em>That's right. Leave me alone.</em>
</p><p>He had just decided to try and go back to sleep, and in fact was in the process of laying back down when he heard his name again. This time, however, it was from Rey, who had obviously awoken and was looking up at him with wide, concerned eyes, made even more so by the fact that he had startled so hard at the sound of her voice that he'd made her jump as well.</p><p>"Ben, what is it?" Rey asked as she brushed the loose hair from his forehead. "Another nightmare?"</p><p>Catching her hand, Ben pressed his lips to her palm, closing his eyes as he breathed in the glorious scent of her skin. Honey and lavender, and something else, something a bit more earthy that he couldn't quite put his finger on but loved anyway because it was her.</p><p>"No, it wasn't that," he murmured, because truthfully, it wasn't a nightmare that woke him. "Actually, I don't remember the last time when I slept so well."</p><p>Rey smiled widely, bringing out her dimple, and Ben's breath caught in his throat. When they first arrived on Naboo he had attempted to keep track of Rey's smiles, but quickly realised that it was a lost cause when only a week later he had already lost track.</p><p>He had noticed, however, that while Rey smiled at pretty much anyone who was kind to them, which from their experience had been almost everyone they had met so far—on Naboo at least, Coruscant was another story altogether—the smiles she gave Ben were for his eyes and his eyes only.</p><p>"I thought so," she said softly, tilting her head up for a kiss. Ben responded eagerly, curling his arms around her gorgeous slender body as he laid them back down, pushing all thoughts of voices on the breeze out of his mind as he rolled on top of her, pulling back just enough to see her nod before diving back in. They were both still naked, too tired and sated after the previous night's activities to bother with any sleeping clothes, and she was ready for him only a couple of minutes later. He moaned as he pushed inside her, pleasure burning across his body like an electrical charge when Rey's eyes fluttered closed and her teeth caught on her bottom lip. He slipped one hand underneath the small of her back, holding her as closely as possible as Rey's tiny fingers combed through his hair and scratched along the tops of his shoulders.</p><p>"Ben," she said on a gasp as she threw her head back, exposing her beautiful neck. Ben quickly took the hint, raining kisses all along the column of her throat, showering her with the adoration he felt for her with every single fibre of his being.</p><p>"Be with me, sweetheart," he said, squeezing his eyes closed as his climax came racing towards him. "Rey, come with me!"</p><p>The sight of Rey's angelic face twisted in pleasure as her climax overtook her combined with the feel of her fluttering around him pulled Ben over the edge, and he came so hard that his vision went white, barely having enough presence of mind to not collapse directly on top of her as all of his strength completely left him.</p><p><em>I am with you,</em> he heard across their bond as Rey's fingers trailed up and down his back and sides. <em>I'll always be with you.</em></p><p>She held him in her arms afterwards, with his head on her shoulder and her fingertips tracing down his right cheek to his chest, along the scar that was no longer there. Ben knew Rey still carried a lot of guilt for being the cause of that old scar, as much as he had tried to convince her that it was unnecessary. She had only begun to realise her own connection to the Force during their duel on the collapsing Starkiller Base, and yet she had still managed to hold her own against him, someone who'd had years of training as both a Jedi and Sith apprentice.</p><p>A fact that Snoke then proceeded to throw in Ben's face shortly thereafter.</p><p>As it was, as much as Ben wished he could just make Rey's burden disappear, he knew it was something that she needed to work through on her own, in her own time, just as his own guilt was a burden that Rey couldn't help him carry, no matter how heavy it was or how much she wished that she could.</p><p>Besides. Ben was never going to complain about the way Rey's perfect hands were running along his body, leaving goosebumps and tingles in their wake. He had been deprived of physical contact for so long, years of his life, that he hadn't realised how much he had missed it—craved it, even—until the first time he and Rey touched hands.</p><p>And he knew it was the same for Rey. All those years spent alone on Jakku, surviving completely on her own and starting from such a young age… even all these months later Ben was still in awe of it, of her incredible strength and fortitude.</p><p>She was so strong. The strongest person Ben had ever met in his entire life.</p><p>Closing his eyes, Ben let out a contented sigh as Rey's lips brushed across his forehead and she reached for his right hand, cradling it between her own as if it were a rare or delicate piece of pottery, something to be treasured.</p><p>"I love your hands," she murmured a few heartbeats later, her voice filled with such reverence that Ben felt his throat tighten.</p><p>"Oh, do you now, hmm?" he said, winking up at her. She rewarded him with yet another one of her precious smiles, the soft one she usually reserved for times such as these, pressing the back of his hand to her lips.</p><p>"Yes," she said, trailing her lips across his knuckles and down his middle finger. "I'll never forget the first time we touched hands."</p><p>Ben gasped, remembering all too well the jolt that he felt the very first time he and Rey touched through their Force bond. He had been in such a state of suspended disbelief as they reached towards one another that he was positive he had completely sweated through his uniform by the time they actually made physical contact.</p><p>"Me either," he whispered, clearing his throat. "Stars, Rey, you have no idea how much that meant to me."</p><p>"Oh, I'm fairly certain I have at least some idea," she replied, her beautiful eyes crinkling at the corners as she pressed a lingering kiss to the tip of Ben's middle finger. "Although they were definitely softer back then, I noticed that while we were on Coruscant. They've toughened up a bit since we've been here. You've even got some callouses now."</p><p>She was right, and it was something that Ben had noticed as well. Between their regular everyday chores, his copywriting assignments, and his training, his hands were nowhere near as baby-soft as they were before the battle on Exegol.</p><p>"It was the gloves," Ben murmured. "I never really did anything without them."</p><p>"Not even sleeping?" Rey asked, placing the palm of Ben's hand against her cheek.</p><p>"Not most of the time," answered Ben. "I didn't—I thought it would be unwise for me to be caught out of uniform if something were to happen." He didn't add that he never even allowed himself to sleep for more than a couple hours at a time while on the Finalizer. After he'd killed Snoke, Ben had had an entire army of commanders, generals, and foot soldiers at his disposal, not to mention a massive fleet of ships, but yet he hadn't trusted a single one of them to not try and kill him in his sleep.</p><p>After all, hadn't that been the route of ascension for the Sith pretty much since they had come to be? The apprentice killing the master? And since he had killed Snoke, Ben feared that it was only a matter of time before someone else came for him. He was still shocked that Hux hadn't ever attempted to organise a mutiny.</p><p>Rey was quiet for a moment, still pressing kisses all along Ben's fingers until she glanced down at him, the worried frown lines between her eyebrows.</p><p>"Something woke you this morning," she said. "Something that wasn't a nightmare, but it still disturbed you. What was it?"</p><p>Ben huffed, turning further into her so she couldn't see his eyes. He should've known that he couldn't hide something like that from her.</p><p>"I thought—I thought I heard something," he said, muffled against Rey's neck. "Or someone."</p><p>"Someone?" Rey asked. "But not someone you've heard before?"</p><p>"No. It sounded vaguely familiar, but not enough for me to recognise. But… it also wasn't threatening, I don't think." He shifted again, meeting Rey's beautiful hazel eyes. "Sounded more curious than anything."</p><p>"Hmm. Well, maybe next time you could ask their name?"</p><p>Ben pursed his lips. "I'm not sure that I want to. I've—I think I've had enough of hearing strange voices."</p><p>"I suppose I can understand that," Rey said softly. "But what if this person or thing is trying to help you?"</p><p>"Well, if that's the case, then whoever it is can come and talk to me face-to-face," Ben stated, a bit more firmly than was likely necessary. "Otherwise, I'm just not interested."</p><p>"Ah, spoken like a true Solo," Rey replied with a giggle. Ben instinctively frowned, his brow furrowing even more when Rey snorted.</p><p>"What? What's so funny?"</p><p>"Nothing," Rey said quickly as she tried to smooth his frown lines away with her thumb. "It's just… the face you made just now, you looked just like him."</p><p>"Like who?" asked Ben.</p><p>"Like your father," she murmured. "I noticed it yesterday too, while we were eating. You said something and then made a face, something about the way your eyebrow quirked, and it reminded me so much of Han." She leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Ben's forehead. "You're so much like him, probably a lot more than you want to admit, and I think before… you must've been afraid to let it show."</p><p>Ben breathed in, exhaling slowly as he cuddled even closer, listening to the soft beat of Rey's heart beneath his ear, his blood running cold as he recalled the time when Rey's heart had stopped beating.</p><p>
  <em>Be with me. Don't leave me here alone.</em>
</p><p>"You're not alone, Ben. I am with you," Rey whispered. She slid her tiny fingers down his until they were interlaced, bringing his knuckles to her lips. "See? I'm right here."</p><p>"I know," he said as he tilted his head up for another kiss, which Rey happily obliged. They lay there for awhile, exchanging soft kisses and caresses until Rey's stomach started to growl, causing Ben to chuckle.</p><p>"I guess that means it's time for breakfast," he said as he helped her up, handing her his crumpled tunic from the floor and chuckling again as she slipped it over her head. Ben was still amused by how much she loved that ratty thing, but he had to admit that she looked cute as hell in it.</p><p>Much better than he had looked when he'd worn it. In fact, ever since they'd arrived on Naboo, Ben had flat-out refused to wear anything black, preferring light, cream-coloured linen shirts and trousers of either brown or medium to dark grey. He had worn enough black during his years as Kylo Ren to last three lifetimes.</p><p>Since their cabin lacked running water and a real fresher, Ben had built a sort of outdoor toilet building shortly after they arrived, promising Rey that once they finally decided that they were going to stay there permanently he would build her a real bathroom, with a real fresher. He also had tentative plans to double the cabin's size and add a couple more windows, so that the sunlight could stream in from more than just one direction.</p><p>He had told Rey of these plans just the previous night as they'd held each other after making love, his entire body tingling and his heart so full that it almost hurt.</p><p>How desperately he wanted it, wanted all of his wild dreams and desires for he and Rey to come true. Dreams of a real, permanent home, maybe even a family someday…</p><p>And yet, the fact that he was still the most wanted man in the galaxy haunted him, hung over his head like a steel veil, and as much as he wished he could just snap his fingers and make it go away, he knew that he couldn't.</p><p>Someday, he would have to face the consequences of what he had done.</p><p>Shaking his head, Ben quickly pulled on his own clothes and headed outside to start their fire, catching sight of Rey as she emerged from the makeshift fresher, tossing him another smile as she dipped back inside to fetch her tin of tea leaves and the flatbread and honey that they often ate for breakfast. They baked the bread every three days or so, depending on the weather, and that along with fish from the river and whatever animals they could trap and fruits they could find, comprised most of their diet.</p><p>"You know, I think I'd like to start a garden," Rey said as she set down their tea mugs and took the piece of flatbread Ben offered her. "It would be a lot easier to just grow the herbs that we use rather than have to forage for them. I could add some vegetables too, and maybe even some flowers. Maybe we can look at some seeds and plants the next time we go in to the city?"</p><p>Ben smiled around his own mouthful of bread, savouring the sticky sweetness of the honey on his tongue. His mother had always had a particular fondness for sweets, always keeping a jar of sugar handy to sweeten her tea and honey to spread on bread or crackers. He could remember his father coming home from one of his long smuggling runs; he'd been gone for months, and Leia had not been at all happy about it until Han pulled out a jar of honey nearly the size of Ben's head, and suddenly all was forgiven.</p><p>"If that's what you want," Ben said once he'd swallowed, curling his arm around Rey's waist and pulling her onto his lap, swiping a tiny drop of honey from the corner of her mouth.</p><p>"It is," she said as she cupped his face in her hands, kissing his forehead first, then the tip of his nose, and finally his lips, the taste of the honey on her tongue combined with the burst of flavour from the herbs in the tea nearly intoxicating him.</p><p>"I love you," he whispered once they broke apart, their foreheads pressed together and his thumb tracing along Rey's cheekbone. "So much."</p><p>"And I love you," she murmured in reply. She pecked his lips again, pulling back with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "But now it's time to start training."</p><p>"Yeah, I suppose," Ben said with an exaggerated scowl. He watched as Rey disappeared back inside the cabin, reemerging a couple minutes later dressed in one of her own tunics and a pair of cropped trousers, her gorgeous wavy hair pulled back to keep it out of her face.</p><p>Owing to Ben's promise to never duel with Rey again, he and Rey instead trained side by side, using thin branches shaped to resemble the bo staff that Rey used to carry, as well as trading off time with Rey's lightsaber. Ben had taught Rey several of the training exercises that he'd learned while studying at Master Luke's temple, and she had taught him a few things that she'd learned from Leia, including how to be more easy on himself when something went wrong.</p><p>Like trying to parry when he should have pivoted, and shattering his stick against the trunk of a tree.</p><p>"It seems as though you're still a bit anxious," Rey said after Ben had shouted his curse of frustration into the air, sending an entire flock of birds scattering into the sky, chirping their discontent. She caught Ben's hand, running her fingertip slowly along one of the creases in his palm, something they had recently discovered worked really well to help calm him when he got upset. "Why don't we stop for the day, all right?"</p><p>"But—" Ben started, his jaw snapping closed when Rey quirked her eyebrows at him, giving him her don't-argue-with-me look. He knew that look all too well.</p><p>"All right."</p><p>After spending a few minutes searching for a replacement stick of the appropriate length and weight, they headed over to the river, spending most of the rest of the day bathing and catching fish. They even stumbled upon a new fruit tree on their way back to the cabin, some kind of round fruit with a thick green skin, but so sweet and juicy once peeled that they ended up nearly gorging themselves on them, falling asleep full and happy.</p><p>Unfortunately, Ben's sleep was once again fitful, rife with images of Force ghosts and flashing lightsabers, of low, ominous voices interspersed with smaller ones crying and begging for mercy, and an underlying sensation of such deep, unrelenting fear and anger that it caused him to wake with a start before the sun had even started to rise. Ben gasped, clapping his palms to his temples as if to push the unpleasant thoughts from his mind. He had no idea where these new sensations were coming from as they weren't memories of his, but he definitely knew that he didn't like them.</p><p><em>Go away!</em> he thought bitterly. <em>I don't want you here!</em></p><p>Sucking in a deep breath, Ben swiped the sweat-dampened hair from his eyes and glanced over at Rey, relieved to find her still sleeping peacefully, her beautiful full lips curled into a contented smile. Ben brushed a stray hair off her forehead before carefully extraditing himself from her grasp, tucking the blankets up over her shoulders and leaning down to kiss her softly. Then he quickly got dressed, pulling out Rey's lightsaber and all three of their training remotes and headed out to the training area. He knew Rey didn't care much for it when he used all three of the remotes at once, but sometimes it was the easiest way for him to clear his head.</p><p>Pursing his lips, Ben activated the remotes, quickly losing himself in the electronic hum of the lightsaber as he attempted to dodge their relentless blows, gritting his teeth whenever he missed to avoid crying out from the pain. Remote blasts stung like hell, burning and marking his skin, and Ben absolutely hated them, but he hated jarring Rey awake from her sleep even more.</p><p>"Ow!" he rasped as yet another blast hit him on the small of his back, followed immediately by another to the top of his left shoulder. With a muffled curse Ben whipped around, the lightsaber nearly flying out of his grip when his eyes landed on a man standing about ten feet away, leaning against a tree and watching him with an amused grin on his face.</p><p>"Hello, Ben," the man said, and a shiver raced down Ben's spine at the sound of his voice.</p><p>It was the same voice he had heard the previous morning, calling out to him. The voice he'd told to leave him alone.</p><p>Deactivating the remotes, Ben raised the lightsaber and advanced towards the man, stopping short when he didn't budge a single inch, his rather smug smile growing even wider.</p><p>"Who the hell are you?" Ben demanded, the lightsaber still in the attack position. "What do you want with me? I swear, if you even think about trying to hurt her, then—"</p><p>"I'm not here to hurt you or Rey, Ben, I promise," the man said, raising his hands in surrender. "You said you wanted to meet face to face, so, I'm here to talk to you."</p><p>"What?" Ben said, his nostrils flaring. The fact that a perfect stranger knew both his and Rey's names was not okay with him at all. "How do you know her name? We've never seen you before!"</p><p>The man dropped his gaze as anguish fell across his face, clouding his eyes. "No, you haven't seen me before, but… you've both heard my voice before."</p><p>"Rey has?" Ben asked, incredulous. He lowered the lightsaber, but didn't deactivate it. There was something about this man that seemed eerily familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. He was dressed in a white tunic and long, light brown robes, similar to the robes Master Luke had worn while teaching at his temple, and his face… there was something about his face, the shape of his eyes, and his nose…</p><p>"When?"</p><p>"On Exegol," the man answered. "After the Emperor sent you flying over the cliff, many of us reached out to Rey, trying to give her the strength that she needed to finish the job."</p><p>"To finish… wait, <em>what?</em> You mean to kill Palpatine? He almost killed her! In fact, he did kill her! The only way she survived was because—"</p><p>"Because you saved her," the man cut in. "Because you, Ben Solo, pulled yourself out of that pit, broken and bleeding and in unimaginable pain, and crawled over to Rey to infuse her with your remaining life force. You were willing to sacrifice your own life to save her, and that right there was the very moment where I was convinced that you had completely turned from the Dark Side and embraced who you truly are."</p><p>Ben scowled, finally deactivating the lightsaber as he took another step forward.</p><p>"Who are you?" he asked, and once again the man smiled, a huge, toothy, cocky grin.</p><p>"Who do you think I am, Ben?"</p><p>"I don't know!" Ben exclaimed, his frustration threatening to boil over. He gripped the lightsaber, his thumb itching to reactivate it when he suddenly realised that due to the typical early-morning fog, he hadn't noticed the shimmering white aura surrounding the man, making it seem that he was almost glowing.</p><p>The man was a Force ghost.</p><p>Ben had heard stories of Force ghosts appearing to Jedi at various times, usually in a time of great need to offer counsel. Master Luke had even told him a few of his own experiences, namely whenever his old master Master Yoda appeared to him, usually right after he'd done something rather rash or stupid.</p><p>"Look at me, Ben," the man said gently. "Look at my face, I know you can see the similarities."</p><p>"Yeah, you look a lot like my uncle, but—" Ben broke off as realisation dawned. The man wasn't Master Luke, that much was obvious, but he had the same eyes, eyebrows, and nose as Master Luke. And his smile was also the same, based on the not-so-many times that Ben had ever seen Master Luke smile.</p><p>"You're—are you a <em>Skywalker?"</em></p><p>"Yes, I am," the man answered, squaring his shoulders. "My name is Anakin, but I'm afraid that you'll only recognise me by my Sith name, as unless I'm mistaken, that's the only name you've ever associated with me."</p><p>It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water down Ben's back, and he let out a loud gasp as he stumbled backwards, his eyes wide as he shook his head.</p><p>"No," he said, raking his shaking fingers through his hair. "No, you're not. You can't be—"</p><p>"Darth Vader," the man—Anakin—said, practically spitting the words. "Yes, I am. Or rather, I used to be, until my son, your uncle, helped me find my way back to the Light."</p><p>"He… <em>what?"</em> Ben asked, internally kicking himself for sounding so stupid. He had always hated being blindsided by anything, whether it was an abrupt change in plans or an unexpected piece of information, as it made him feel unnerved and out of control.</p><p>"Yes, he did," Anakin said softly. "And judging by your reaction, I'm assuming that he never spoke with you about it, hmm?"</p><p>Ben could only shake his head, slamming his jaw closed when he realised it was hanging open like the hatch on a ship.</p><p>"No, he didn't mention it," he said once he was able to find his voice again. "Master Luke never talked about his… parents, he only told me he was raised by his aunt and uncle on Tatooine."</p><p>"Who were actually only his step-uncle and his wife," said Anakin. "Owen Lars was my step-brother, his father married my mother."</p><p>"And my mom, she never—" Ben broke off, his hand gripping the lightsaber hilt as his free hand clenched into a white-knuckled fist. "She never told me either. She never—she only talked about her adoptive parents, the royal ones." Ben's stomach clenched at the memory, of when one of his mother's political enemies in the new Galactic Senate decided to take it upon himself to reveal to the entire galaxy that Leia Organa-Solo's birth father had been none other than the notorious Sith leader himself, Darth Vader.</p><p>"And how old were you when you found out?" Anakin asked.</p><p>"Twenty-three," Ben said softly. He turned away, tears pricking his eyes at how angry, how betrayed he had felt at the shocking news. He had marked that day, that exact moment, as the beginning of the end of his time as a Jedi apprentice, as it was only a short time later that he woke up in his bed to find Master Luke leering over him, his lightsaber clutched in his metal fingers and so much fear and loathing in his eyes that it cracked Ben's heart right down the middle.</p><p>"That must've been a pretty difficult time for you," said Anakin.</p><p>"It was," Ben murmured, his brow furrowing as a thought suddenly occurred to him. "But then again, you probably already knew that."</p><p>Anakin shifted on his feet, awkwardly rubbing his nose as he let out a heavy sigh.</p><p>"I did, Ben."</p><p>"Yeah," Ben muttered as he scuffed the sole of his boot on a nearby rock. He was already tired of speaking in riddles, and it was getting harder and harder to control his temper. "And, oh, I don't know, you didn't feel that it might've been a good idea to show yourself back then? Maybe?" He wiggled his toe underneath the rock, launching it into the air where it hit a tree thirty metres away. "You did happen to know there was a war going on, didn't you?"</p><p>"Yes, I did," replied Anakin, far too smugly for Ben's taste.</p><p>"Well, then where were you?" Ben said, his voice rising with every word as he pointed his finger right in Anakin's face. "If you knew what was happening, the path I was headed down, then why didn't you show yourself to me then? Try and stop me?"</p><p>As soon as the words were out of his mouth Ben wanted to kick himself, knowing that he had probably just woken Rey. No matter how hard he tried to shield her from his strong negative emotions she always seemed to find her way in, and she had never left him to deal with them alone.</p><p>Ben sucked in a deep breath, willing himself to calm down as he took a step back. "Don't you know how many people could've been saved? My father? My mother—?" Ben's voice cracked, and he again turned away, hastily scrubbing a tear from his cheek.</p><p>"Even Master Luke? They're all dead! All three of them are dead because of that war!"</p><p>
  <em>Because of me.</em>
</p><p>"I know that, Ben," Anakin said sadly. "But try and think; if I had been able to reach you before you'd turned yourself over to Snoke, or even after you did, would you have listened to me?"</p><p>"I—" Ben started, once again snapping his mouth closed as his mind caught up. "What do you mean, if you <em>had </em>been able to reach me? Does that mean that you tried?"</p><p>"Yes," said Anakin, so matter-of-factly that Ben's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "I did try, and not only once or twice, but several times. But you wouldn't let me in. The Dark Side had consumed your every thought and emotion so completely that there was no way I could get through to you."</p><p>Shuddering, Ben hooked the lightsaber to his waistband and crossed his arms in front of his chest, remembering with shame the many times that he'd knelt in his quarters on the Finalizer, praying to the destroyed helmet of Darth Vader to show him what it meant to be a true follower of the Dark Side.</p><p>"The pull to the Light," he whispered. "That was you?"</p><p>"Sometimes," replied Anakin. "Other times it was your mother. She—she never really let me in either, I'm afraid, and Luke, he was far too consumed with his own guilt over what he perceived as his failure to want to listen to me all that much, so…" He gave what was supposed to be a nonchalant shrug, but Ben saw the intense pain in his eyes. "And then once you came into contact with Rey, it was her as well."</p><p>"Because of the bond?" Ben asked.</p><p>"Partially," said Anakin. "But mainly because of your compassion for her, even before you recognised it as such."</p><p>Ben flinched, the word, "compassion" recalling a particularly unpleasant memory from his past that he had tried very hard to bury.</p><p>"<em>You have compassion for her!"</em></p><p>"Don't say it like that, make it sound like it's just some casual thing," he snapped. "What I feel for Rey isn't just compassion, I <em>love </em>her. I love her with my entire heart and soul and everything else in me. She's the most important person in the entire galaxy to me, and I'll protect her with my life."</p><p>"Well, what do you think compassion is, if not unconditional love?" Anakin said, just as sharply. "You're assuming that I don't have any experience in these matters, but I assure you that I do."</p><p>Ben glared at him for a moment, which Anakin returned just as fiercely, his expression so similar to Ben's mother when she and his father used to argue that Ben's heart gave a lurch.</p><p>"Your experience was with their mother," Ben said softly. "Wasn't it."</p><p>"It was, yes."</p><p>"But then, why did you abandon her?" asked Ben. "If you loved her as much as you say, how could you turn away from her?"</p><p>Anakin's lips curled into one of the most melancholy smiles that Ben had ever seen, yet another identical expression to one that he'd seen numerous times on the face of his mother.</p><p>"You of all people should be able to understand the power of someone who's constantly whispering in your ear, feeding on your insecurities and obsessions and carefully cultivating every single fleeting dark thought that you might have until it blooms into fruition," said Anakin. "But while your voices were mainly inside your head, mine was flesh and blood, and staring me in the face, day in and day out. The master manipulator himself."</p><p>"Palpatine," said Ben.</p><p>Anakin gave a rueful nod. "Yes. And like a fool, I allowed him to manoeuvre me so well that by the end, there was hardly anything left of the old me that remained." He let out a morbid chuckle, shaking his head. "It was just as Master Yoda had predicted on my very first visit to the Jedi Temple: my fear led to anger, which then led to hate, which then led to more suffering than the galaxy had ever seen. I was so afraid of losing the woman I loved that in the end, my fear became the very thing that killed her."</p><p>Ben was quiet for a moment, desperately trying to contain his swirling emotions. There had been so many instances where his own actions had nearly cost Rey her life, and the thought of him even attempting to live without her was just too much for him to contemplate. He and Rey were a dyad. She was the other half of his soul, his Force mate, two that were one. Without her, he would just be alone.</p><p>
  <em>Solo.</em>
</p><p>"But this isn't the reason why you called out to me yesterday," Ben finally said. "Or why you're here now."</p><p>"No, it's not." Tucking up his robes, Anakin sat down on one of the large roots of the tree, crossing his arms in front of him as though he was a teacher getting ready to give a lecture. He nodded in Ben's direction, raising an eyebrow in question.</p><p>"Would you like to sit down?"</p><p>"Do I have a choice?" Ben muttered as he plopped down on the spongy forest floor, the damp dirt and leaves seeping through the backside of his trousers.</p><p>"We always have choices, Ben," Anakin said. "Even when it may not seem as so."</p><p>"Yeah, sure," grumbled Ben. "Look, Rey's gonna be waking up any time now, so if you don't mind—"</p><p>"Okay then, I'll get right to the point," said Anakin. "You and Rey have been here now for almost a year, correct?"</p><p>"I guess, give or take. Why?"</p><p>"And yet I sense that you're still unsettled. Uneasy. Why do you suppose that is?"</p><p>Ben's breath caught in his throat, and he looked down at his hands, studying the various scratches and callouses that littered his once impeccably smooth skin. Rey had told him just the day before how much she loved his hands, said that she loved them even more now that they belonged to Ben Solo—a bit rough around the edges—instead of Kylo Ren.</p><p>"You're not the same person anymore, Ben, that much is clear," Anakin said softly. "Which is why you now understand even more what needs to be done."</p><p>Breathing in a deep, shaky breath, Ben gave a stuttered nod, clenching his hands into fists. He had tried so hard to keep from thinking about it, but he still somehow knew, deep down, that it would eventually become unavoidable.</p><p>"I need to turn myself in," he said, so quietly he was surprised that Anakin heard him.</p><p>"Yes," said Anakin. "You do. In order for the galaxy to finally be at peace, you need to turn yourself over to the Resistance. Right now they're trying to rebuild, trying to put some sort of government and trading systems in place that are both fair and honourable, but there's still that uncertainty hovering over them like a dense fog, making it impossible for them to see a clear path ahead."</p><p>"And you think putting me on trial for war crimes will clear their path for them?" Ben asked, a bit too harshly when Anakin winced.</p><p>"You fear that you won't receive a fair judgement," he said. "Is that it?"</p><p>"Yes!" Ben exclaimed. "It's the Resistance! I was the figurehead of the First Order, how do you know they won't kill me on sight?"</p><p>"Because Rey will be with you," said Anakin.</p><p>"No!" shrieked Ben. He scrambled to his feet, brushing dirt off the back of his trousers. "No, absolutely not! If she comes with me they'll just arrest her for harbouring me, and I'm not going to allow that to happen!"</p><p>Anakin smiled again, a wide, toothy smile that made Ben's blood boil.</p><p>"What could possibly be so funny?"</p><p>Instead of replying, Anakin jerked his head towards the direction of the cabin, his smile growing even wider.</p><p>"Well, why don't we ask her and see what she says, hmm?"</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Rey had become so reluctantly used to waking up to find Ben gone from the bed that while she hadn't been surprised to find him gone yet again, she had been more than a bit disappointed. She had very much enjoyed the time they'd spent cuddling and lounging in bed the previous morning—especially the sleepy morning lovemaking—and she'd had hopes of enjoying it again.</p><p>At least he hadn't had another nightmare, or at least not one that he hadn't been able to keep from her. They'd had yet another discussion about Ben's tendency to try and hide his dark thoughts from her, and while she hoped that she had actually gotten through to him this time, she wasn't yet convinced.</p><p>So far, though, what she'd sensed from Ben that morning had been mostly frustration mixed in with a bit of physical pain, and, seeing that both her lightsaber and all three of their training remotes were missing, she could easily guess why. As often as Rey tried to tell him that he didn't need to push himself so hard, she had to admit she admired that he did so. Ben was so determined to prove himself worthy of a new lightsaber that he was willing to push himself above and beyond the limits of traditional Jedi training, and while Rey knew that part of it was because of his ever-present compulsion to atone for his actions as Kylo Ren, most of it was simply because he was Ben Solo, and Ben Solo wanted to be the absolute best.</p><p>So it was a bit unusual, as she approached their training area, to see Ben sitting cross-legged on the forest floor, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hand as though he were listening to a teacher, and then suddenly shoot to his feet as though the very same ground had burned him.</p><p>"Ben?" Rey said as she trotted the final steps over to him, grabbing onto his hand and following his eyeline towards a nearby tree. "What's wrong—?"</p><p>She jumped back in surprise at the sight of the man, her eyes narrowing as he pushed himself up to his feet.</p><p>"Hello, Rey," he said politely, bowing his head slightly in her direction. "It's nice to finally meet you."</p><p>"What?" Rey said, frowning as she looked up at Ben, who wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders. "Ben, who's this?"</p><p>"Sweetheart, this is Anakin Skywalker," Ben said, his voice thick. "My… grandfather."</p><p>Rey's head jerked back in surprise; out of all the millions of obscure possibilities she might've thought of, that one hadn't even crossed her mind.</p><p>"Your <em>what?" </em>she exclaimed. "You mean—?"</p><p>"Yes, Rey," said the man—or rather, the Force ghost. "I was once the Sith Lord you knew as Darth Vader, and Luke and Leia were my children. Shortly before my death on the Second Death Star, my son, Luke, was able to successfully turn me from the Dark Side so that I could die as Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight."</p><p>"I didn't know of Darth Vader, I've only heard stories," Rey said quickly. "And I've definitely never heard that one."</p><p>"Yes, well, I'm sure most of the others weren't exactly very flattering," Anakin said, and Rey's eyebrows knitted together. There was something else going on, something that was making Ben uneasy, and she needed to figure out what it was.</p><p>"Well, I suppose that's beside the point now, don't you think?" she said. "Why exactly are you here?"</p><p>To her annoyance, Anakin smirked as he glanced over at Ben.</p><p>"She's direct, hmm?"</p><p>"Yes, she is," Rey stated before Ben could even open his mouth. "And she can also speak for herself, thank you very much. Now, I would very much appreciate it if you could answer my question."</p><p>"Rey," Ben said as his fingers stroked the back of her neck. "Sweetheart, Anakin and I were having a… discussion."</p><p>"Okay, very good. About what?"</p><p>"About—"</p><p>"About the next step that Ben needs to take," Anakin cut in. Rey's frown grew even deeper as she took a step forward, noticing that the Force ghost seemed to be almost as tall as Ben.</p><p>"And I suppose you're here to tell him what that is?" she demanded.</p><p>"In a manner of speaking," replied Anakin. "You might say that I'm here in more of an advisory manner."</p><p>"I see." Rey could sense that the delicate fibres of her temper were starting to fray, which Ben could likely sense as well, if his fingertips digging into her shoulder were anything to go by.</p><p>"So if that's the case, may I ask where in the hell you've been? If you're here to advise Ben, then why couldn't you have done it earlier? You of all people must've known how hard he was struggling!"</p><p>"I did know, Rey," said Anakin, and Rey was pleased to see that he at least had the decency to look chagrined. "And that's exactly why I'm here now."</p><p>"But—!"</p><p>"Sweetheart, please," Ben pleaded as he touched her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone. "Please, just listen to him."</p><p>The wobbly tone of Ben's voice did nothing to quell Rey's unease, but she nodded anyway, curling her arm around his waist.</p><p>"All right. But make it quick."</p><p>Anakin's lips twitched and he inhaled deeply, which Rey found rather odd, him being a ghost and all.</p><p>"I never had the opportunity to truly repent for what I did," he began, his voice low and tight. "Over the course of a few of our… meetings, my son told me he could sense that there was still good in me, but of course I didn't listen. I believed it was too late, that I was too far gone, irredeemable. But, he persisted, and during the final battle of that war, what came to be known as the Battle of Endor, my son and I dueled on the second Death Star directly in front of Emperor Palpatine. The duel ended with Luke cutting off my artificial hand, and I collapsed to the floor, unable to continue." He paused, scratching nervously at his nose. "After that, Palpatine began to taunt Luke, telling him to kill me and take my place at his side."</p><p>"That sounds rather familiar," Rey said, and she felt Ben's fingers twitch on her shoulder.</p><p>"Yeah," Anakin said with a chuckle. "He had all that time, decades, and he never came up with any new lines, hmm?"</p><p>"No, I guess not. Please continue."</p><p>"Well, as you can probably imagine, Palpatine didn't take Luke's refusal very well, and he began to torture him." Anakin paused, swallowing hard. "Luke cried out to me, begging me—his father—for help, like any child would when he was being hurt, and I—it was that moment when I realised that I had to make a choice. So I chose him, and by doing so, I was able to renounce my identity as a Sith and reclaim my name."</p><p>He paused then, shifting on his feet as his eyes flicked between Rey and Ben. Over the course of his story the sun had moved overhead, with a single beam of light filtering between a few of the higher tree branches to shine directly on the back of Ben's head.</p><p>He was quite literally standing in the light, and the sight of it was enough to both fill Rey's heart with joy and cause it to sink at the same time, as she now had a strong suspicion as to why Anakin Skywalker had chosen that particular moment to appear to Ben.</p><p>"All right," Rey finally said. "That's all well and good, for both you and Master Luke, but I still want to know why you're here now. Why now?"</p><p>Anakin, who had been busily studying the ground while Rey thought, now flicked his gaze back up to Ben, quirking an eyebrow.</p><p>"Anakin believes that it's time for me to turn myself over to the Resistance," Ben said, quietly, but still so clear and strong that tears welled in Rey's eyes, spilling down her cheeks before she could stop them.</p><p>"No!" she cried, clutching Ben's arms, the frightened yet determined look on Ben's face hitting her like a blaster shot to the heart. "Ben, please, don't do this now! It's not yet time, you wanted your new lightsaber first!"</p><p>"I know that, sweetheart," Ben murmured, his chin quivering. "But what Anakin's said here—"</p><p>"And what exactly has he said?" Rey demanded. "Because to me, all it seems is that he's expecting you to repent for your sins only because he never had the opportunity to properly repent for his!"</p><p>"That's partially correct, Rey," Anakin said, and Rey whipped around, shooting him a glare that would've splattered him all over the tree if he'd been real flesh and blood. "After everything I did as Darth Vader it would've been pure chaos if Luke had had his wish and brought me back with him to his Rebel camp, which likely would've resulted in both of us being shot on sight. But, my death also deprived me of a way to truly make amends, which is not something that I want for Ben."</p><p>"And yet again, I fail to see why we should care about what you want?" Rey snapped. "This is Ben's life we're talking about—<em>our</em> lives—not yours! You had your chance!"</p><p>"Rey, we knew this day would come," Ben said quietly. "We talked about it, we knew that someday—"</p><p>"Yes, but not now! It's not the right time!" Rey cried as Ben tucked her into his arms, his long fingers weaving into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. Tears rolled down her cheeks in hot, salty rivulets as she sobbed into his chest, Ben's strong, steady heartbeat thrumming beneath her ear.</p><p><em>Please, don't do this! </em>she thought desperately. <em>Not yet!</em></p><p>
  <em>I'm not ready!</em>
</p><p>"Neither am I, sweetheart," Ben whispered. "I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."</p><p>Sniffling and hiccuping, Rey swiped at her nose and pulled back to look into Ben's eyes, dark, glassy and frightened, but also proud.</p><p>"But it needs to be done, Rey," he said. "We both know it."</p><p>"Ben will never truly know peace without it, Rey," said Anakin. "And as selfish as it might make me sound, I don't want that for him."</p><p>Rey gave a stuttered nod, tipping her forehead against Ben's chest and holding him as close as she could. As much as it hurt to admit, she could understand where Anakin was coming from because there was nothing that she wanted more than for Ben to be at peace. They had been slowly chipping away at all of his remaining layers of darkness during their months there on Naboo, and now it was time to peel back the only layer that remained.</p><p>"You won't be alone," she said. She reached to cup his cheek, biting her lip when Ben leaned into her touch. "I'll be with you."</p><p>"Rey—" Ben started, but Rey pressed her fingers to his lips, silencing him.</p><p>"No," she said firmly. "We're two that are one, correct? So that means where you go, I go as well. We'll go together or not at all, and I won't hear anymore arguments about it."</p><p>Ben huffed out a sharp breath as he stared into Rey's eyes, finally blinking in agreement.</p><p>"All right."</p><p>"That's a good choice, Ben," said Anakin. "And it won't just be the two of you either. For as how the Jedi were with Rey as she fought against Palpatine on Exegol, we will all be with Ben during his tribunal as well. He has more than earned our support."</p><p>"All right then," Rey said. "When do we leave?"</p><p>"Tomorrow," Ben replied, his lips pursed in determination. "We'll leave for Ajan Kloss tomorrow."</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Come and find me on tumblr, I’m geeky-writes and geekys-starwars 😊 </strong> </em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t wait to see what you think!  Please don’t forget to hit the kudos button and leave me a comment!  😊</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for all of the kind comments, I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!</p><p>So, contrary to what I said in the beginning, this is not the final chapter. There will be one, perhaps two more parts before the story is concluded. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Rey stood back, trying to keep her tears contained as she watched Ben close up their cabin, sealing all of their possessions inside. They were leaving almost everything behind, taking only a couple changes of clothes, some blankets, and Rey's lightsaber, their way of trying to remain optimistic that they would be allowed to return once Ben's tribunal was concluded.</p><p>They had ventured into the city once Anakin had taken his leave the day before, turning in Ben's latest assignments from the bookshop and explaining to the owner that they would be gone for awhile, but would hopefully return in a few weeks.</p><p>And to Rey—and Ben's—relief, the owner had only patted them both on the shoulder and wished them good luck in their travels, not even inquiring as to why Ben needed to go.</p><p>Which, in a way, almost made it even more difficult to say goodbye. Rey had never felt as at home anywhere else as she had on Naboo. It was almost as though the planet was aware of what she and Ben had done, that it knew that they had finally beaten the most evil being in the galaxy once and for all, and so therefore had welcomed them into its fold without question or prejudice.</p><p>She supposed that Ben's grandmother, the woman Anakin had claimed to love, might've had something to do with it as well. As Han had sometimes liked to say, the Force tended to work in pretty mysterious ways.</p><p>Finished with the door, Ben turned towards Rey and held out his right hand, which Rey took without hesitation, intertwining their fingers and bringing it to her lips, kissing the back of it.</p><p>"Thank you, sweetheart," Ben murmured as he cupped her cheek, his chin quivering. "I don't—I don't know what—"</p><p>"Shh," Rey said as she brushed her fingers across his lips. "Please don't thank me. You'll never have to thank me for loving you. Not ever."</p><p>"I know, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful," Ben insisted. "There's no way I could do this without you."</p><p>Rey merely nodded, moving up onto her tiptoes for a kiss, which Ben quickly obliged. Then he curled his arm around her shoulders, planting a firm kiss to her forehead.</p><p>"Ready?"</p><p>"Yes," she answered, even as she felt like anything but ready. As much as Anakin had tried to instill them with confidence during their talk the previous day, the reality now seemed to be far less so. Rey couldn't seem to shake the growing sensation that she and Ben were heading straight into a massive trap, one from which there would be no escape.</p><p>They walked in silence for awhile, hand-in-hand, with Rey intently studying their surroundings so as to commit the area to memory as best as she could. Their fire pit, set just far enough away from the cabin to be safe but still close enough to be convenient. Their training area, meticulously cleared out by she and Ben shortly after they'd first arrived on Naboo. And the river, where they had spent many a day simply lying in each other's arms and soaking up the sounds of life in the forest, where Ben had taught her how to fish and she'd helped him shave and wash his hair, combing her fingers through the lush, dark strands until they shone like the rare onyx jewels that traders used to lust over back at Niima Outpost.</p><p><em>We're going to be back, </em>she thought firmly as they continued on past the river, the fallen leaves crunching beneath their feet. <em>Both of us.</em></p><p>
  <em>Someday.</em>
</p><p>"We will, sweetheart," Ben said, his fingers tightening around hers. "I promise."</p><p>Since they had left Master Luke's X-wing a good distance away from the cabin, nearly three days on foot, their pace was steady but not too fast so as to not completely exhaust them. Once the sun had dipped below the treeline they would pause to build a fire, find food, and construct a quick lean-to to sleep under, burrowing down into their blankets as much as they possibly could as Ben told Rey stories about the stars in the sky, connecting them into shapes with his fingers as though they were fallen drops of ink on one of his papers.</p><p>Sleep, though, was difficult to come by, both out of dread for what lay ahead and from the fact that neither of them could seem to keep their hands off the other. That sensation of complete and utter wholeness that she and Ben shared during their lovemaking, when their minds and bodies were joined together in the most intimate of ways and there was no space at all between them was indescribable, and something Rey had long ago realised that she could no longer live without.</p><p>They were two that were one. Two halves of a whole, their lives now so completely intertwined that any attempt to pull them apart would only cause irreparable damage to them both.</p><p>And Rey was absolutely determined to not allow anyone to attempt to do so, no matter the cost.</p><p>They arrived at the ship not too long after breakfast on the third day, hidden within a thick clump of trees right where they'd left it. Storing their meagre belongings in the droid's hold, Ben helped Rey climb up into the cockpit, hoisting himself up after her and settling her on his lap. Rey had forgotten—or more likely forcibly pushed from her mind—just how cramped the cockpit space was for two people, and quickly decided that she and Ben would have to find another, larger ship prior to their return.</p><p>The fact that she hoped that ship might end up being the Millenium Falcon was something she tried to keep deeply buried, not wanting to upset Ben if it turned out not to be.</p><p>Gripping the controls with shaking hands, Rey carefully maneuvered the X-wing out of the forest and through Naboo's atmosphere into space, hesitating only for a few seconds before plotting the course for Ajan Kloss and activating the hyperdrive. Ben's lips brushed across the skin just below her ear as soon as they were underway, his arms wrapped protectively around her.</p><p>"I love you," he whispered, and Rey's breath caught in her throat. Ben had said those words, those three simple words to her more times than she could count since they had defeated the Emperor on Exegol, and yet they never failed to cause her heart to flutter, like one of the brightly-winged flying insects on Naboo she had so greatly admired.</p><p>"I know," she murmured as she curled her hand around Ben's neck, tugging him down for a kiss. "And it's going to be all right, Ben, you'll see."</p><p>
  <em>I won't accept any alternative.</em>
</p><p>"I know," Ben said, attempting a smile that wasn't quite able to reach his deep brown eyes. He was once again trying to shield Rey from his dark, tumultuous thoughts, but Rey couldn't bring herself to berate him for it. The last thing Ben needed was to feel even lower.</p><p>At Rey's suggestion—or more like insistence—she and Ben had spent some time discussing different possibilities for Ben's tribunal the previous night. Leia had gone over most of the standard military procedures with Rey during the year she had spent with the Resistance on Ajan Kloss, so Rey was at least familiar with the proper proceedings. She had also already decided that she was going to present Ben's defence herself rather than risk the task falling to someone who could potentially be less than sympathetic.</p><p>As for who might present the prosecution, Rey knew it could fall to any number of people, including Finn and Poe Dameron, both of whom Rey assumed now held high positions in the Resistance ranks with Leia gone.</p><p><em>If only Leia were still here, </em>she thought, unable to keep it contained, tears pricking her eyes when Ben's lips brushed across her neck again.</p><p>"It's going to be all right, sweetheart," he whispered. "You'll see."</p><p>"Oh, I sure hope so," she choked past the lump in her throat. She squeezed her eyes closed, inhaling a deep breath through her nose and hoping so badly that Anakin had been right. Rey couldn't imagine why Anakin would have suggested that Ben turn himself in now if he didn't believe that it would eventually turn out okay, but then again, she didn't exactly feel comfortable relying solely on the word of a Force ghost, and especially one who could arguably have some ulterior motives.</p><p>Regardless, Rey needed to pull herself together; she wasn't doing Ben any favours by breaking down every single time she thought about it. Ben needed her to be his support system, not the other way around.</p><p>The rest of the several-hour trip passed in relative silence. Ben insisted on taking the controls after a couple of hours so Rey could rest, her head tipped back against his broad chest so she could hear his heartbeat thrumming beneath her ear. She had decided way back on Coruscant that Ben's heartbeat was one of the most beautiful sounds that she'd ever heard, strong and steady and ever-present, and Rey hardly ever passed up an opportunity to listen to it.</p><p>It had been a harrowing time for them after Exegol, trying to find a place to stay and the necessary supplies to heal Ben's broken leg and ribs that didn't immediately ask for any kind of payment up front. Under anarchy pretty much since the Battle of Endor, Coruscant had become basically a free-for-all, making it a great place to hide if you had the credits to do so, but very dangerous if you didn't.</p><p>As it was, once they had finally found a place and Rey managed to get Ben cleaned up and bandaged and somewhat comfortable, he had opened his arms, inviting her to lay down with him on the small bunk, which was so short that Ben couldn't even fully stretch out his legs. Rey had been hesitant at first, not wanting to jostle him too much while he was trying to heal and wary of them both falling asleep in an unfamiliar and untrustworthy place. But, stubborn as he was, Ben had insisted, and as she curled her exhausted body around his and laid her head down on his chest, she was immediately greeted with the sound of Ben's heart, the most comforting sound she had ever heard in her life, and one that then lulled her to sleep in only a matter of minutes.</p><p>And this time was no different, with Rey only waking once the ship dropped out of hyperspace on the outskirts of Ajan Kloss.</p><p>Rey had no later rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and retaken the controls when a patrol ship appeared on her scope, the pilot demanding to know who she was and where she was going. Rey quickly asked to speak with either Finn or Poe Dameron, hoping that at least one of them would be available.</p><p>"And whom may I say is requesting to speak with the Generals?" asked the patrol pilot.</p><p>"Tell them it's Rey," answered Rey. "And that it's urgent that I speak to only them."</p><p>"Very well, stand by," the pilot said, rather skeptically. Rey tapped her fingertips impatiently on the bulkhead as she waited for what seemed like several minutes, taking note that the patrol ship hadn't budged a single inch.</p><p>Finally, in a burst of static, the radio crackled back to life.</p><p>"Rey? Is that really you?" came the dumbfounded voice of Finn. "Poe and I were wondering where you've been, we didn't know what had happened to you, and—"</p><p>"Yes, it's me," Rey said with a smile. Despite everything, it was nice to hear Finn's voice again, to know for sure that he'd made it. "And I need you to listen to me very carefully."</p><p>"Uhh, okay," said Finn. "Why? What's the problem?"</p><p>Inhaling a deep breath, Rey gave Ben's knee a light squeeze as she quickly explained that Ben was with her, and that they needed a place to land the X-wing that was outside of the main Resistance camp so as to ensure she and Ben's safety. Finn was dead silent while Rey explained why they had come, and it wasn't until she inquired if he was indeed still there that he cleared his throat.</p><p>"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Finn asked quietly. "'Cause I don't think I ever in a million years would've seen this coming, and—"</p><p>"I am sure," Rey replied, leaving no room for argument. "Now, can you please tell me where we can land?"</p><p>With a heavy sigh, Finn directed her to a set of coordinates about a mile away from the outskirts of the camp, promising to grab Poe and meet them there with a speeder. Dusk was falling across the area as they disembarked the ship, with Rey's heart in her throat as she clung tightly to Ben's hand. Next to her, Ben stood as straight as a bo staff, trembling slightly as the bright headlights of a speeder approached their location.</p><p>"Well," said Poe once he and Finn had pulled up next to them, his eyes flicking nervously between Rey and Ben. "I have to say, this is quite a surprise."</p><p>"I'd offer that it's quite a surprise for us as well," answered Rey. "And also a gesture of good faith, I hope."</p><p>Poe grimaced as he glanced over at Ben, pursing his lips.</p><p>"Well, I guess we'll find out." He sighed heavily, regarding Rey as if she'd just dropped another tree on top of BB-8. "You always have to make things difficult, huh?"</p><p>"I don't know, it seems pretty simple to me," Rey stated. "Now the Resistance can stop wondering what's become of Kylo Ren, and we can hopefully get on with our lives."</p><p>"And what exactly has become of Kylo Ren, hmm?" Poe asked, staring pointedly at Ben. "'Cause I gotta say, you sure as hell still look like him."</p><p>"Well, he's not," Rey said firmly as she stepped in front of Ben. "His name is Ben Solo, son of Han and Leia Organa-Solo, and he's come here willingly to submit himself for a fair judgement. So why don't the two of you just show us where we'll be staying and let's get on with it."</p><p>Poe shook his head, scrubbing a palm down his face as Finn stepped forward.</p><p>"We'll have to hold Kylo—I mean, Ben—in the brig, Rey," he said. "As for you, well, your old quarters are still here. We sealed them up after Exegol, thinking that you might show up again someday."</p><p>"And you really feel that that's necessary?" Rey asked, her belly giving a violent swoop at the possibility of being separated from Ben. In all the months since Exegol, she and Ben hadn't spent more than a couple hours apart from each other, and the thought of leaving him alone in an unfamiliar and potentially hostile place made her very uncomfortable.</p><p>"Rey, it's all right," Ben said softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It's what I expected."</p><p>"But I still think it's unnecessary," said Rey. "Who's to say that whoever's guarding him won't try to—"</p><p>"I promise that nothing will happen before we can arrange for the tribunal, all right?" said Poe. "You have my word."</p><p>"C'mon, Rey, try and give us a little credit, okay?" said Finn. "We do things pretty much by the book here."</p><p>Rey bit her lip, glancing up at Ben, who gave her a small nod.</p><p>"All right. But how long will it be before we can get started?" While Ajan Kloss was a rather pretty planet—or rather, moon—it had never quite felt like home to Rey. Even before she had admitted how she felt about Ben, she had always felt just enough out of place amongst the Resistance that she could never completely settle there, something that even Leia had commented on more than once.</p><p>And, knowing how most, if not all, of the base's current population would feel perfectly justified in shooting Ben on sight, she was certain that her uneasy feelings would not likely take their leave until she and Ben did.</p><p>Poe and Finn exchanged glances, quirking their eyebrows in some silent communication method that was equal parts intriguing and infuriating.</p><p>"Give us a couple of weeks to organise the tribunal," Poe finally said. "That'll give us some time to gather evidence and prepare witnesses."</p><p>"And choose someone to give the defence," added Finn. "Because I gotta say, I'm not sure how we're gonna—"</p><p>"That won't be necessary," Rey cut in. "I'll be presenting Ben's defence."</p><p>"Uhh, I'm not sure that's—" Finn started, slamming his mouth closed when Poe raised his hand.</p><p>"That's fine," he said quickly. "Saves us from having to draw straws for it." He reached behind him, pulling out a pair of wrist binders as he eyed Ben suspiciously. "I'm gonna have to put these on you right before we arrive at the brig. It's standard procedure."</p><p>"I understand," Ben answered, so clear and strong that tears pricked Rey's eyes. She knew he was afraid, she could sense his profound fear even as he was trying to shield her from it, but no one who didn't know him would be able to tell.</p><p><em>If only Leia were here,</em> Rey thought for likely the millionth time. <em>She'd be able to convince them that he's not dangerous.</em></p><p>"Then I suggest we get moving," said Poe, jerking his head towards the speeder. "Shall we?"</p><p>Night had fallen by the time they arrived back at the base, with Poe radioing ahead as they approached, clearing out most of the personnel so that only three guards remained. As soon as he had climbed down from the speeder Ben held out his hands, gulping as Finn locked the binders around his wrists and took his elbow, guiding him inside the brig to where the cellblocks were located.</p><p>"When can I see him?" Rey asked as Poe unlocked one of the cells and removed Ben's binders, her lower lip trembling. She caught it between her teeth as she took Ben's hand, biting down hard when his fingers squeezed around hers.</p><p>"I'll come and get you in the morning, all right?" said Finn. "We can talk more about it then."</p><p>"But I will be allowed to see him, won't I?" Rey asked again, trying to not sound as desperate as she felt. "I don't—"</p><p>"Rey, just let us work some things out first, okay?" said Poe. "You kinda just sprang this on all of us, so we're all pretty much flying by the seat of our pants at the moment. We'll hopefully know a lot more in a couple of days, but until then, I'm gonna ask that you just try and be patient."</p><p>"But—!"</p><p>"Rey, I'll be all right," Ben said softly. He curled his arm around Rey's waist as he regarded Poe with stern eyes. "Do I also have your word that nothing will happen to Rey while I'm in here?"</p><p>Poe's eyebrows twitched, his throat bobbing as he swallowed.</p><p>"Of course," he said. "You have my personal guarantee."</p><p>"Good. Thank you," Ben said with a single nod.</p><p>"Yeah, sure," said Poe, gesturing awkwardly towards the open cell. "Um, so…"</p><p>Rey held her breath as Ben leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek before backing into the cell, not taking his eyes off of her as the door slid closed and the lock engaged.</p><p><em>It's all right, sweetheart, </em>she heard across the bond as Poe activated a forcefield, likely to avoid any possible Force-tampering. <em>I love you.</em></p><p>"And I love you," Rey whispered as a single tear rolled down her cheek, her heart lurching when Ben pressed his fingers to his lips.</p><p>"C'mon, Rey," Finn said a few uneasy seconds later, tugging gently on her arm. "Let me show you to your quarters."</p><p>"Good idea," Poe said quickly. "I need to go check on some other things, so…"</p><p>With a stuttered inhale, Rey allowed Finn to guide her from the cellblock, hastily brushing the tear from her cheek and trying not to think about the fact that she would've rather been thrown into a pit of angry Gundarks than leave Ben alone in this place.</p><p><em>It's all right, sweetheart, </em>she heard again. <em>I'll be all right.</em></p><p>"I hope so," she murmured, turning away when Finn shot her an odd look.</p><p>"What? Did you say something?" he asked.</p><p>"No, I didn't."</p><p>Finn quirked a skeptical eyebrow but thankfully didn't press her, remaining silent until they arrived at the door to her old quarters. Stepping inside them was like stepping into a time-warp, with everything still in the same place as it'd been before she'd left for Pasaana.</p><p>Including, to her relief, all of Master Luke's old books, which Rey was planning to use to hopefully aid in building Ben's defence. She was counting on there being something in them regarding Master Luke's thoughts or concerns about Ben from his time studying at the Jedi temple, as well as information regarding his final duel against Darth Vader and Vader's conversion back to the Light.</p><p>If Rey could somehow convince the Resistance of what Anakin had told them, that he had renounced his Sith persona and reclaimed his name right before his death, that information alone would go a long way in swaying the tribunal towards a favourable outcome.</p><p>Or at least, she hoped that it would. Rey was already kicking herself for not being able to decode Master Luke's rather cryptic words way back when she'd first arrived on Ahch-To, about his name passing into legend along with the rest of the Jedi. What was it about the Skywalkers and their insistence on talking in riddles most of the time? Even Leia, as much as Rey had adored her, hadn't been completely immune to that particular manner of speaking.</p><p>"Rey?" Finn suddenly asked, startling her. She hadn't realised that she'd just been standing still in the middle of the room, which probably wasn't helping her appear as though she knew what she was doing.</p><p>"So… um… do you need anything?" he asked, not meeting her eyes. "Something to eat, maybe? I'm pretty sure the mess hall is already closed for the night, but I might be able to —"</p><p>"No, thank you," Rey said. She stepped over to the chest containing Master Luke's books sitting at the foot of the bunk, running her palm along the ornately carved wood. "I'm… I think I'm just going to get started on these, so…"</p><p>"Well, okay, if you're sure," Finn said warily, shifting on his feet. Rey could sense what he was dying to ask as if the very words were hanging in the air in front of her, but she was too distressed at the moment to feel like making it any easier for him.</p><p>"Yes, I'm sure. Thank you."</p><p>"Okay…" said Finn as he took a single step towards the exit. "But—"</p><p>"I don't suppose that Chewie is here, is he?" Rey asked. "Or General Calrissian?"</p><p>"Ah, no, they're on a mission at the moment, trying to scout out some colonies for some of the former Stormtroopers," Finn answered. "Left about a week ago."</p><p>"Oh. Well, that's good," said Rey. She wasn't quite sure what Lando or Chewie's reaction would've been at seeing Ben again anyway.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Once again Finn just stood there, glancing around her room as if he was waiting for her to say something else. Rey kept her back to him, hoping he would take the hint and leave her alone, huffing out a sharp breath when he finally headed for the door only to turn back just as he reached it.</p><p>"Look, Rey, I'm sorry if this seems—well… but I just gotta ask," he said in a rush. "Are you absolutely sure that you know what you're doing? I mean, <em>absolutely</em> sure?"</p><p>Rey frowned as she slowly pushed herself up to her feet, thinking that the long journey must have tired her out more than she'd realised.</p><p>"I am absolutely sure," she said firmly. "And once the tribunal is over, so will be everyone else."</p><p>"'Cause… I mean, c'mon, Rey, you gotta understand how this looks, right?" Finn continued, almost as though as if he hadn't even heard her. "I mean, think about it. You just disappeared after the battle, like <em>completely</em> disappeared without a trace, so most of us thought you were dead, right, and then you suddenly show up here almost a year later, and with <em>him?</em> I mean, you do remember that that guy captured Poe and interrogated him, don't you? And almost killed me? And almost killed you? And even killed his own father—?"</p><p>"Yes, I know," Rey said, squaring her shoulders. "And believe me, so does he."</p><p>"And?" Finn demanded. "And you still think it's just okay for you to show up here all out of the blue, holding the guy's hand and calling him Ben Solo instead of Kylo Ren?"</p><p>"Yes, I do!" Rey stated, just barely shy of shouting. "And I don't just call him Ben Solo because I feel like it, I call him that because that was the name given to him by his parents, both of whom you greatly admired. It's who he is, which is exactly what I'll be presenting for his defence. Now, I know you're probably thinking that I've been brainwashed or something, but I can assure that is not at all the case. So now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get started."</p><p>Finn gave a sigh, holding up his hands. "All right, all right. If you're so sure about it then I guess there's nothing really left for me to say. I just… don't wanna see you get hurt, is all."</p><p>"Well, you don't have to worry about it because Ben would never hurt me," she said. "Of that I am absolutely certain."</p><p>"O-kay," Finn said with a shrug. "Then I guess I'll see you in the morning."</p><p>"I'd like to know when I'll be able to see Ben," Rey said just as Finn was halfway through the door. "So if you and Poe could figure that out, and quickly, I'd very much appreciate it."</p><p>"We'll talk about it, tomorrow, okay?" said Finn. "Goodnight."</p><p>As soon as the door slid shut Rey sank to her knees, tipping forward against the chest of books as her shoulders curled in and tears streamed down her cheeks. It had only been a matter of minutes since she'd left Ben alone in the brig, but she already missed him so much that her heart ached like it had been bruised. She had thought that she'd prepared herself for what they'd be facing, but the harsh reality of being separated from the man she loved was far, far worse than anything she had anticipated.</p><p><em>Please don't cry, sweetheart, I'm still here, </em>she heard suddenly across their bond, Ben's kind, gentle voice inside her head only increasing her sobs. He was the one trapped inside a prison cell, and yet he was the one trying to comfort her.</p><p>"I know," she said aloud, sniffing as she blotted at her wet face with the hem of her tunic. "I just… I don't know how I'm going to be able to sleep without you. I mean, what if this is all just a huge mistake?" As soon as the words left her mouth she realised how small and pathetic she sounded, but honestly she was so tired and scared that she didn't even care.</p><p><em>It's not a mistake, Rey, </em>Ben replied. <em>Try and think of it as just another trial.</em></p><p>Despite herself, Rey broke into a smile. Only a Solo would compare an actual trial to a Jedi training test.</p><p>"That's because it is a trial, Ben."</p><p><em>Well, yeah, I know, </em>and Rey could just picture his face, the slightly crooked smile on his lips as his deep brown eyes bored into hers and his fingers stroked the back of her neck. <em>I'm always with you, sweetheart.</em></p><p>"And I am with you," she murmured. "Will you be able to sleep?"</p><p>
  <em>I'll try. No promises though.</em>
</p><p>Rey gave a nod; that was about the best she could expect.</p><p>"Me too. I love you."</p><p>
  <em>I know.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Despite their best promises to try, neither Rey nor Ben were able to sleep very well that night. Or the next night, or the one after that. For two people who had spent most of their lives more or less in solitude, they had both grown so used to the other's presence that the sudden lack of it was physically painful. To Rey, it felt as though someone had carved out half of her soul, leaving her open and vulnerable, and she knew it was even worse for Ben, whose only companions were the rotating Resistance guards who spent most of their time either glaring at him or attempting to ignore him.</p><p>Which, she supposed, was at least better than taunting him.</p><p>Rey mainly kept to herself, wanting to avoid as much as possible the whispers and pointed stares that greeted her whenever she ventured out into the main camp, especially after Poe's announcement regarding the upcoming tribunal. It wasn't everyone, as there were still a few people milling about who remembered her from when she was working with Leia and still considered one of them. Finn and Poe were hospitable enough—escorting her to meals and helping her access the base's library—along with a few others, including Rose, who had genuinely squealed in delight the first time she saw Rey, running over to her and throwing her arms around her neck.</p><p>"It's so good to see you again, Rey!" she'd exclaimed. "We all wondered what had happened to you!"</p><p>And while Rey was relieved to see that not everyone viewed her as a complete pirah, the unease she sensed from the general public was enough to keep her confined to her quarters the majority of the time, poring over Master Luke's texts and scribbling notes as she slowly pieced together what she hoped was a strong defence for Ben. She realised that whatever she was able to come up with would likely have to be altered based on the arguments presented by the prosecution, but she wanted to be as prepared as possible by the time the tribunal began so as to minimise the amount of catch-up work required.</p><p>As focused as she was on her work, however, the lack of sleep combined with her worry for Ben, worry that intensified with each day that passed without seeing him, Rey quickly found herself having more and more difficulty keeping her emotions in check, and especially keeping them from Ben. He needed her to be strong for him, not the blubbering mess that she felt like most of the time, and yet nearly every single night she found herself crying into her pillow, her body aching for her beloved's touch as all of her inner defences crumbled into dust, summoning Ben's gentle words to soothe her across their bond.</p><p>
  <em>It's all right, sweetheart. I'm still here with you.</em>
</p><p>"But you're <em>not!"</em> she cried one particularly bad evening, one that'd had her feeling so sick to her stomach after dinner that she'd nearly lost what little she'd managed to eat. "You're <em>not, </em>and I—" She was able to stop herself before she said it out loud, but Ben must've caught her meaning anyway because it was only a few seconds later that she felt fingertips softly trail across her cheekbone, brushing the tears from her face.</p><p>"Open your eyes, Rey," she heard him whisper in her ear, his voice so melodic and beautiful that at first she was reluctant to acquiesce, afraid she would discover that she was only hearing things.</p><p>"Rey, I'm here," he said again. "Open your eyes."</p><p>Slowly, she blinked her eyes open, all the air whooshing from her lungs in one fell swoop when she saw him sitting next to her on her narrow bunk, his pale face etched in concern.</p><p>"Ben!" she cried as she collapsed against him, sobbing into his chest as his arms wrapped tightly around her and his lips caressed her forehead and temple. "Ben, I'm so sorry! You need to be conserving your strength, not wasting it because I can't keep a hold of myself!"</p><p>"Shh, sweetheart," Ben murmured, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on her back. "It's not like I've had all that much to do these last couple weeks."</p><p>Rey snorted out a laugh, her hands clutching fistfuls of Ben's shirt. "No, I suppose not. But even so—"</p><p>"Even so nothing," Ben said. He tilted up Rey's chin, pressing a soft, slow kiss to her lips. "You don't need to be worrying about me, okay? I'm not the one running myself into the ground at the moment."</p><p>Sniffing, Rey curled even further into Ben's arms, listening to the strong beat of his heart beneath her ear.</p><p>"I've missed you so much," she whispered a few heartbeats later. "These last two weeks have been so awful, I just don't understand why they won't let me see you."</p><p>"Well, it's like General Finn said, they're doing things by the book," said Ben. "I doubt my mother would've allowed it either."</p><p>A stab of pain pierced Rey's heart at the mention of Leia, and the rather detached tone of Ben's voice at the mention. Rey knew that he still often struggled with the notion that his parents had still loved him despite everything, and she supposed it was even more difficult for him now, surrounded by the very Resistance that his mother used to lead, the very Resistance that would far rather see him dead than their beloved General Organa.</p><p>"I wish you could've seen her again before—well, <em>before,</em>" Rey murmured. "It's not fair that you didn't."</p><p>"Oh, I don't know," Ben said with a shrug, one that Rey had taken to calling the Solo shrug. "If I had, it might've been even harder, you know?"</p><p>"Maybe." Rey pressed her lips to Ben's neck and breathed in, trying to immerse herself in the scent of him so she could recall it once he had to leave. "How long can you stay?"</p><p>"Probably only a couple more minutes," Ben said sadly. "The guards don't seem to like it too much when I meditate, I think they're afraid I'm going to try and mind-control them or something, so after awhile they always start pounding on the door to break my concentration."</p><p>"Well, that's not very nice now, is it," Rey said with a frown, pursing her lips when Ben chuckled and rubbed at the lines between her eyebrows.</p><p>"There's my fiery Rey," he murmured as he kissed her again, cupping her cheek to hold her in place. "I knew she was in there somewhere."</p><p>"Mmm. I don't feel very fiery lately," Rey muttered as she tucked her head under Ben's chin. "More like a piece of damp wood. Useless for pretty much anything."</p><p>"Never," Ben said as he shifted them so they were lying back against Rey's pillow with Rey draped across him. "You just need to rest, sweetheart."</p><p>"But, I can't—"</p><p>"Shh, just listen, okay?" Ben said softly, pecking her forehead when she nodded. "Now, close your eyes and try and picture our river on Naboo. Pretend that we're there, lying on the riverbank, with the water rushing across the rocks and the birds singing in the trees above us. You're leaning back against my legs while I braid your hair, and your head's tipped up towards the sun, with your eyes closed and that soft smile on your face that I love, your smile of contentment. It's always been my favourite because it's as though you wish you could freeze whatever moment we're in and live in it forever."</p><p>"Because I do," Rey whispered, her breath catching as she suddenly heard the familiar sounds of the river and felt the warm sunshine on her face as Ben's long fingers stroked through her hair. "I want that, Ben. I want it so badly."</p><p>"Then it will be so," he said, his warm breath against her ear sending tingles down her spine. "We just have to be patient, but we can do it, Rey. We can, because we're not alone. Not anymore. There's two of us now."</p><p>"Two that are one," Rey murmured, her limbs so relaxed she felt as though she were floating.</p><p>"That's right." She felt her stiff, scratchy blankets being tucked up over her shoulder as Ben's lips brushed across her temple. "Sleep now, okay? I love you."</p><p>"No, Ben, please, don't go yet," Rey begged as she clung to him, struggling to open her heavy eyelids even as he began to fade. "Stay with me."</p><p>"I can't, sweetheart, I need to go now," Ben said, sounding as though he was speaking from a distance. "I'll see you soon. This will all be over soon."</p><p>"But—!"</p><p>
  <em>I'm still here, Rey. Even when you can't see me, I'm still with you.</em>
</p><p>"And I am with you," she managed just before sleep claimed her. "Always."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>As much as Poe tried to reassure Rey that things would move quickly along, it wasn't until two more weeks had passed that the tribunal finally got underway. Finn had tried to explain the delays to Rey as being mainly procedural, telling her that no current Resistance member had ever been involved in a true military tribunal, and so he and Poe had been forced to dig deep into General Organa's archives for information on the trials of many of the former members of the Galactic Empire, which Leia had witnessed. Owing to their promise to share any and all information that they found, Rey was able to examine the archives as well, noting that many of the defences presented for those men and women had fallen under the aspect of simply following the orders they were given by their superiors.</p><p>A defence which, while perhaps a bit applicable to Ben prior to Snoke's death, would not exactly fly very far during the year between Snoke's demise and the battle on Exegol, when Ben was for all intents and purposes the Supreme Leader of the First Order.</p><p>As such, with that information in hand, Rey set about reconstructing a timeline of sorts, beginning shortly before Ben began his studies under Master Luke and ending with Emperor Palpatine's defeat in the Sith temple. It was painfully slow and frustrating work, mainly due to the scarcity of correspondence between Ben and his mother during the time before the destruction of Master Luke's temple. Rey still couldn't understand how Leia could go so long without contacting her young son, but she supposed that was neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. The only thing that truly mattered at the moment was ensuring that Ben was able to go free.</p><p>The first day of the tribunal dawned overcast and dreary, as though the very weather itself was already in mourning. Rey chose to implicitly ignore it as she rose from her bunk and dressed, forcing herself to eat even as everything she put past her lips seemed to taste exactly like her old portions on Jakku, gritty and bitter.</p><p>Following Finn into the large, stately Justice Hall after breakfast, Rey's heart began to thud as she saw that it was already nearly filled to capacity with observers and witnesses, all wanting to take part in what surely was the trial of their lifetimes. Rey avoided making eye contact with anyone as she took her seat at the table set aside for her and Ben, her breath lodging in her throat when someone announced that he was being brought in. He had managed to Force-project himself in to see her a couple more times since that awful night when she'd broken down, but he'd obviously been hiding how terrible he was feeling because it was all Rey could do to keep from bursting into tears once she finally saw him.</p><p>Ben appeared as exhausted as Rey felt, with his skin so pale and gaunt it was nearly translucent against the frame of his black hair, which hung limply over his forehead and into his eyes. He had obviously lost weight, making his formerly lean frame appear almost fragile, and was dressed in a stiff canvas shirt and trousers of the most awful dull grey colour that Rey had ever seen, which only emphasised the paleness of his skin and the huge purple circles under his eyes.</p><p>But the worst part of it was his wrists, which were so tightly bound with thick, shackle-like binders that he could barely move, and that revealed wide, angry scrapes across his skin once the guard finally removed them.</p><p>"Ben!" Rey exclaimed as soon as he sat down, in as hushed of a whisper as she could manage. "Why didn't you tell me you were being mistreated? I can't believe anyone could think that this is acceptable, we need to speak to—!"</p><p>"No," Ben interrupted, his jaw clenched so tightly it could have cut glass. "Rey, please, just don't. You don't need to be worrying about me."</p><p>Rey immediately opened her mouth to argue, but snapped it closed again as she met Ben's eyes, pleading with her to let it drop as Poe stepped to the front of the room, holding up his hands to silence the murmurs of the assembled crowd.</p><p>"This is military tribunal case number one-one-three-eight, The People vs. Ben Solo, also known across the galaxy as Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order," Poe said. "Now, I'm sure I don't have to remind all of you that this is in fact a trial and not a sentencing. There will be arguments and witnesses presented from both sides, after which a verdict will be rendered. If anyone has a problem with this or any other part of these proceedings, then I cordially invite them to exit the room, now."</p><p>An eerie silence fell across the crowd, broken only by some shuffling in chairs and a few cleared throats.</p><p>"All right," said Poe. "Then let's get started."</p><p>And so it began.</p><p>As per tradition, the prosecution presented their arguments first, calling nearly fifty witnesses to give various testimonies stretched over a period of ten days. Much of it was similar, the same story told by a few different people, presumably to try and prevent the five-judge panel from developing any sympathy for Ben. Tale after tale told of the "Jedi killer", the title given to Kylo Ren after his assumed destruction of Master Luke's Jedi temple and the presumed death of Master Luke himself, along with the rest of his students. It was all Rey could do to remain calm as Ben sat next to her, his back straight and proud and his shoulders squared, but still with that same haunted look in his eyes that she remembered from the battle on Crait, when she'd closed the hatch of the Falcon in his face.</p><p>It was as though each day of testimony was chipping away another small piece of Ben's soul, and Rey was quickly growing more and more exhausted trying to keep him from giving in to his dark thoughts simmering right beneath the surface.</p><p>The fact that Rey still hadn't been able to locate anything in Master Luke's texts or the base's archives about the redemption of Anakin Skywalker wasn't helping matters, her frustration mounting exponentially with every passing day. She even became so desperate one particularly bad evening that she asked BB-8 to help her, since C-3PO was off on the same mission as Chewie and Lando. But not even the droid was able to find much of anything that was useful.</p><p>Finally, following an entire day of testimony detailing in minute detail the battle shortly after the destruction of Starkiller Base that nearly cost General Organa her life, the prosecution concluded their arguments. After Poe's announcement that the defence arguments would commence in three days' time, Ben was once again shackled and escorted out of the room, looking over his shoulder at Rey just before he was pulled around the corner. Rey had berated both Poe and Finn for the deplorable treatment Ben had received at the hands of his guards, and while things had been a bit better since then, Ben's overall appearance hadn't improved all that much, mainly due to the fact that Ben felt as though he deserved it.</p><p>Which, Rey realised, was exactly the tactic that Snoke had always used to keep him in line. Snoke had managed to beat Ben down through years of manipulation and torture to the point where Ben believed without question that he didn't deserve anything even remotely resembling Light in his life. Not friends or comrades that he could trust, not the love of his parents and uncle or any of his extended family, and certainly not Rey.</p><p>And it was now up to Rey to prove otherwise, both to the Resistance and to Ben himself.</p><p>Rey hadn't realised that she hadn't budged from her uncomfortable chair in the Justice Hall until she felt a hand curl around her shoulder, startling her so badly that she whirled around with her fist clenched and her teeth bared.</p><p>"Whoa, Rey, it's just me!" said Finn as he jumped back, his hands raised in surrender. "I was just wondering if you wanted to head down to the mess hall for dinner. You didn't eat much of anything at breakfast, so I figured you've gotta be hungry."</p><p>Instinctively, Rey grimaced, the very thought of food causing her stomach to violently churn. Finn was correct, she hadn't eaten all that much at breakfast because she'd felt so dizzy and nauseous that she was afraid it would all come right back up again. She'd been trying to brush it off, thinking that it was just the culmination of all of the stress she and Ben had been under since they'd arrived, but the sinking feeling that something else was going on had been steadily growing stronger, especially since the trial had started.</p><p>"Rey, are you okay?" Finn asked in concern when Rey didn't answer. "You kinda don't look so good, do you need me to take you to the Medical Bay?"</p><p>"What? No!" Rey protested as she attempted to get to her feet, steeling herself against the wave of dizziness that followed and throwing Finn a sharp look when he reached a hand out to help. "I'm completely fine, I'm just—"</p><p>And the next thing she knew she was sprawled out flat on the floor, her head spinning and Ben's frantic voice reverberating in her mind.</p><p>
  <em>Rey? Sweetheart, are you all right?</em>
</p><p>"Okay, I definitely need to get you to the Medical Bay," Finn said as he hoisted Rey into his arms, carrying her out of the room despite her weak protests.</p><p>"I am perfectly capable of walking there myself!" Rey exclaimed as she tried to squirm away, halted immediately by another wave of dizziness that nearly had her gagging. "Okay, actually, maybe not."</p><p><em>Rey? </em>she heard across the bond, her heart nearly cracking in two from Ben's barely-concealed panic. <em>Rey, please tell me what's wrong!</em></p><p>"I don't—I don't know," she mumbled as Finn rounded the corner into the Medical Bay, gesturing to one of the medical droids. "Ben, I don't know—"</p><p>"She just collapsed, says she feels dizzy," Finn explained to the droid as he set Rey down on the examining table. He frowned as he tapped his right ear, listening to someone over the base's internal comm system as the droid began running her scanner over the length of Rey's body.</p><p>"What?" Finn said. "But that doesn't make any sense, how would Ren know—you know what, nevermind. Just tell him we don't know what's going on with her yet, okay? It might take some time to figure out, so—"</p><p>"Actually, General, it is really quite simple," the droid suddenly piped up, her scanner hovering over Rey's abdomen. "The patient is not ill, she is simply with child."</p><p>"What?" Rey and Finn exclaimed simultaneously. Finn's jaw dropped open as Rey propped herself up on her elbows, swallowing against the rising bile in the back of her throat as she stared in shock at the scanner.</p><p>"Are you sure?" she asked, her lower lip trembling. "You're absolutely positive?"</p><p>"I am quite positive," said the droid. She tipped the scanner towards Rey, indicating the tiny blinking dot near the centre. "The heartbeat is strong, there is no doubt."</p><p><em>Rey!</em> Ben practically screamed inside her mind. <em>Are you all right?</em></p><p>"I—I am," Rey whispered, shivering as a cold sweat broke out across her body, pebbling her arms with goosebumps as a vision of a little boy with dark brown hair appeared before her, laughing as he chased after his daddy on his chubby toddler legs.</p><p>Their son, she and Ben's little boy, a child who would never know anything but love and acceptance, who would never know the pain of abandonment and loneliness as his parents did.</p><p>
  <em>And he will bring hope to the galaxy… equal parts darkness and light… </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A perfect balance… </em>
</p><p>"Ben," Rey stammered, nearly choking on the word. "Ben, we're—" She broke off as tears welled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks as she placed her palms over her belly, over the life—their <em>son</em>—that she and Ben had created together.</p><p>Two that are one, and soon to be three.</p><p>
  <em>Rey, sweetheart, please!</em>
</p><p>"Ben, I'm—we're—<em>pregnant!</em>"</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>I'm also on tumblr at <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geeky-writes">geeky-writes</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geekys-starwars%20">geekys-starwars</a>, stop by and say hi! :)</strong> </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t wait to see what you think!  Please don’t forget to hit the kudos button and leave me a comment. </p><p>Thank you so much for reading!  💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Part 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much to everyone reading, and especially for the wonderful comments!  I’m so glad you’re enjoying the story!  💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"Pregnant?" Finn exclaimed, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he regarded Rey. "Rey, that guy—I mean—I thought you told me that Ren would never hurt you!"</p><p>"What? He didn't!" Rey shot back. "What makes you think that he—?" She broke off as anger laced with a fierce protectiveness welled up inside her, and she curled her arms around her front, over her abdomen. She could already sense the tiny life growing inside her, a child created from the bond that she and Ben shared and from the love they had for each other.</p><p>How could anyone who saw them not understand that?</p><p>"Hang on, you don't think that he—that he kidnapped me or something, do you?" she demanded. "That he's just been holding me hostage for all of these months?"</p><p>"Well, it wouldn't be the first time, in case you've forgotten!" Finn retorted. "Han, Chewie, and I had to go and get you, remember? After Ren and his troops attacked us? The map to Skywalker? And then he took you to that horrible Starkiller Base and Han didn't end up coming back? Is any of this ringing a bell?"</p><p>Rey huffed, biting her lip to keep from snapping back. She still felt quite dizzy on top of everything, and while Ben had gone completely silent inside her head, likely out of shock, she could still sense his elation lanced with almost overwhelming uncertainty, the very same emotions she was currently experiencing.</p><p>And fear, both hers and Ben's. So much fear it was almost suffocating, because now the stakes of Ben's trial had just been raised by an almost innumerable amount.</p><p>"Your blood sugar is low and you are moderately dehydrated," the medical droid said as she gently took Rey's arm, prepping some kind of external fluids system. "These fluids will correct the problem temporarily, but it will be imperative that you continue to eat and drink at regular intervals to help prevent further nausea and dizziness."</p><p>"Yes, all right," Rey said, quickly followed by an, "Ow!" as the droid poked her arm with a needle. Once the fluids were attached and running she patted Rey's shoulder, indicating for her to lie back down.</p><p>"You must also be sure to get adequate rest, my dear," the droid added as she covered Rey with a blanket, her soft tone so soothing and motherly in nature that more tears welled in Rey's eyes. "This will ensure that the child will remain healthy."</p><p>"I understand," Rey said with a nod. "Thank you."</p><p>"Okay, but none of this explains how this happened!" Finn said, frowning as he tapped the comm device in his right ear. "What could Ren possibly want now?"</p><p>"Stop calling him that!" Rey insisted. "His name is Ben Solo, and—!"</p><p>But Finn cut her off with a raised hand as he listened to whoever was speaking to him, his frown growing deeper with every passing second.</p><p>"And you don't feel that it's a security risk?" he asked, his shoulders sagging as a reply came that he obviously didn't appreciate.</p><p>"Well, all right, if you think it'll be okay. But only for a few minutes."</p><p>"What?" Rey asked as Finn shot her a sharp look. "What's going on?"</p><p>Finn pursed his lips, eyeing Rey as if she'd just blasted a hole through the hull of the Millennium Falcon.</p><p>"Ren wants to—"</p><p>"You mean, <em>Ben,</em>" Rey interrupted.</p><p>"Yeah, whatever," Finn said dismissively. "He asked if he could come down here to see you and Poe said it was okay, but only for a few minutes, all right? We can't exactly have him roaming around the base while he's on trial."</p><p>"I hardly think that being escorted to the Medical Bay constitutes 'roaming around the base', but I do appreciate it," Rey said. She settled back against the thin pillow, unable to keep the giddy smile from her face. The fluids were already working to alleviate her dizziness and nausea, and that combined with the opportunity to see Ben and his reaction to their shocking news was enough to fill her with more joy than she'd felt since they had left Naboo.</p><p>"Yeah, well, don't thank me," grumbled Finn. "It was Poe's idea."</p><p>Rey let out a sigh as she swiped the lingering tears from her eyes, glancing over at Finn as he paced back and forth near the foot of the examining table. Before the battle on Exegol Rey had considered him to be one of her closest friends, and while she supposed that she could understand why he was still a bit leery of Ben, she couldn't understand why he was so snappy with her about everything regarding him, as if he personally blamed her for Ben turning himself in.</p><p>"Finn?" she said softly. "There's something else going on here, isn't there?"</p><p>"No," Finn said quickly, a bit too quickly. "What makes you think that?"</p><p>"Well, it's actually quite obvious that something's bothering you, so I thought I'd just ask what it was, is all," Rey answered. "We did used to talk on occasion, remember?"</p><p>Finn turned away, shaking his head. "Well, that was before. Before you ran off with… <em>him."</em></p><p>Rey frowned in confusion, but before she could think of a possible response Ben suddenly rushed into the Medical Bay, his wrists bound and flanked by two burly security guards, immediately crossing the room to her side and reaching his hands up to cup her face.</p><p>"Oh my sweetheart, you <em>scared</em> me! Please don't ever do that again!" he gasped as he rained soft kisses across Rey's forehead, nose, and cheeks, his expression a combination of shock, awe, and pure unadulterated adoration, the very same expression he'd worn when she woke up cradled in his arms on Exegol.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Rey whispered as she wound her arms around his neck, wincing when her fluids tube snagged on Ben's hair. She desperately longed to hug him close, to feel his arms wrapped around her and rest her head on his chest, and was just about to ask Finn if they could remove the binders from his wrists when Finn spoke up.</p><p>"Go ahead and take the binders off," he ordered the guards. "I don't think he's gonna be any trouble."</p><p>"Oh, thank you!" Rey breathed as Ben stepped back, his chin quivering as he nodded in Finn's direction.</p><p>"Thank you," he said, thick with the emotion he was struggling to contain as he held out his arms towards one of the guards, wasting no time enveloping Rey in those very arms as soon as they were freed.</p><p>"Ben," she said on a gasp as she burrowed into him as much as she possibly could. Her hands splayed across his broad back as his lips caressed her neck, the droid, Finn, and the guards completely forgotten as she soaked up the fierce embrace of her beloved.</p><p>"I'm here, sweetheart. I'm right here," he murmured against her skin, his upper body trembling as he carefully squeezed her to him. Rey could tell he was trying to hold himself back, as if he was afraid he would hurt her if he hugged her too hard.</p><p>"You're not gonna hurt me, Ben," Rey said softly. "I'm not as breakable as you think."</p><p>"I know you're not, you're the strongest person I've ever seen. I just…" Ben drew back, gulping as his long fingers stroked the back of her neck, trepidation emanating from him in waves. "Rey, I need you to promise me that if things don't go the way we hope, that you'll—"</p><p>"No, I will not," Rey said firmly, her eyebrows knitting together as she brushed the loose hair from Ben's eyes. "We're not even going to think like that, all right? I forbid it. This baby is never going to know anything but acceptance and love from both of his parents, do you understand? We are both going to be there for him every single step of the way because I refuse to accept any alternative."</p><p>The corners of Ben's lips curled into a slight smile, his deep, glassy eyes sweeping across her face, like he was memorising it.</p><p>"All right," he whispered.</p><p>"That's better," Rey whispered back. She took Ben's cheeks in her hands, brushing her thumbs across his perfectly sculpted cheekbones. She could already picture their son's tiny face, complete with Ben's eyes, cheeks, and lips, and her nose and eyebrows, and she was quite sure there had never been a more precious baby in the whole entire galaxy.</p><p>"He's so beautiful, Ben, I can already see him," she murmured as she guided Ben's palm to her belly. "And he's so happy, and he loves you beyond reason."</p><p><em>As you should be loved, </em>she added in her mind. <em>As you deserve to be loved.</em></p><p>"Close your eyes," she continued, smiling when Ben's eyes fluttered closed. "Can you see him?"</p><p>"Oh," Ben breathed a moment later as he broke into a wide, toothy smile, the first true smile she'd seen on him since they'd left Naboo. "I can see him, Rey. He's sleeping, cradled in your arms, and you're stroking his tiny cheek as you sing to him." He breathed in a long, shaky breath as a single tear snaked its way down his right cheek, down the path of his old scar. "Oh you're both so beautiful, sweetheart, I can't—I can't imagine not—"</p><p>"Stop," Rey whispered, brushing her thumb across Ben's lips. "What you're fearing, Ben, it's not going to happen. I saw it."</p><p>Ben gave a stuttered nod as he opened his eyes, softly kissing her forehead.</p><p>"I'll just have to take your word for it." He kissed her again, this time on her lips before tucking her head under his chin. "Will you promise me that you'll get some rest now?"</p><p>"I will try," Rey said as she curled her arms around Ben's waist, pressing herself against his broad chest and soaking up the sound of his heartbeat, her fingers instinctively fisting into the rough fabric of his shirt when she heard Finn clear his throat behind them. It was just so unfair that they had to be separated, especially now.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Rey, but it's time for Ren—<em>Ben</em> to get back to the brig."</p><p>"I understand," Ben said sadly as he turned towards the medical droid. "Will Rey stay here overnight? I'd like to make sure that she's as well as possible before she returns to her quarters."</p><p>"It would be beneficial to the patient to be sufficiently rehydrated before she is released," replied the droid. "I do not see a problem with keeping her overnight."</p><p>"Thank you," Ben said as he pressed his forehead to Rey's, his fingertips tracing the line of her jaw. "Promise me that you'll take good care of yourself while I can't, okay? Please?"</p><p>"I promise," Rey forced past the knot in her throat. "It won't be too much longer now. Soon we'll be able to go home."</p><p>"I hope so," Ben answered, only a bit wobbly. "I love you, sweetheart. I love you so much."</p><p>Rey nodded as she caught his hand, pressing her lips to his palm.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Through tear-filled eyes, Rey watched as Ben pecked her cheek one final time before stepping back and holding out his hands towards the guards, her heart aching as they bound his wrists and led him from the room.</p><p><em>Please don't worry about me, sweetheart, </em>she heard across the bond. <em>You promised.</em></p><p>"I didn't promise to not worry about you," she muttered as she lay back against the pillow, her hands resting over her belly. "I don't think it's possible for me to not."</p><p>
  <em>Try anyway, okay? You need to conserve your strength.</em>
</p><p>Rey's eyes fluttered closed as she nodded. "I will try."</p><p>
  <em>That's my Rey.</em>
</p><p>Sucking in a deep breath, Rey breathed out slowly, attempting one of the Jedi relaxation techniques that Leia had taught her so she could calm her mind enough to sleep. Surprisingly, it actually seemed to be working, as she was just on the very cusp of consciousness when she heard Finn clear his throat again, causing her to startle.</p><p>"Um, I'm sorry, Rey, I know you're pretty tired and everything," he said sheepishly. "But I just gotta ask you one more thing before I leave you alone."</p><p>Rey pursed her lips. "All right."</p><p>"So… you, ah… you really love him, then? Ren—I mean, Ben?" Finn asked. "Like, really <em>love </em>him?"</p><p>"Well, yeah, of course I do," Rey said with a frown. "Was it not obvious?"</p><p>"Oh, it definitely was," Finn said quietly, awkwardly shifting on his feet. "It's like I could almost <em>feel </em>it." He shrugged, giving her a sort of melancholy smile. "I guess I just needed to see it for myself to be sure."</p><p>"I see," said Rey, not without a bit of confusion. "Well, I'm glad that you understand now."</p><p>"No, I didn't say that I understand it, just that I could see it," Finn objected. "And I guess… well… I guess as long as you're happy, then that's all I can ask for."</p><p>"And I am," Rey said. "Or at least, I will be once all of this is over and we can leave this place."</p><p>"Rey, I'm still not sure that's gonna happen," Finn warned. "The trial's not over yet, and—"</p><p>"I know that," Rey cut in. "But I also don't believe that the Force would allow us to—" She broke off then, not really wanting to explain to Finn what she was thinking, that there was no way she could believe that the Force would allow her and Ben to conceive a baby unless it meant that they would be able to raise him together. She and Ben had been living on Naboo for months before she even realised that it was possible for her to conceive, her body finally able to regulate itself after years and years of poor nutrition and excessive stress, so to Rey, the timing of her pregnancy simply had to indicate that in the end, everything was going to turn out okay.</p><p>"The Force?" said Finn. "And you're sure that's how the Force works?"</p><p>Rey bit down hard on her lower lip. It just <em>had </em>to. She simply could not accept any alternative.</p><p>"I hope so," she said.</p><p>"Well, for your sake I hope you're right," said Finn. He gently squeezed Rey's shoulder as he nodded towards the medical droid. "Take good care of her, all right?"</p><p>"Of course I will, sir," the droid answered. "Good evening."</p><p>As soon as Finn was gone Rey closed her eyes and breathed in, allowing her body to relax once more. In her mind's eye she imagined the river on Naboo, lying back against Ben's chest as they listened to the water rushing over the rocks, his large hands spanning nearly the whole of her pregnant belly and smiling as their son kicked against them, reminding them both that he was healthy and whole.</p><p>And there would be no voices whispering into her son's tiny mind, manipulating and tormenting him until he felt so completely isolated from all that he loved that he had no choice but to run to those voices in devastation and shame.</p><p>No, not this time. For the Skywalker curse, that desperate struggle to balance Light and Dark by completely ignoring the Dark until it had grown so large that it smothered them, had finally been completely and thoroughly broken. She and Ben had personally seen to it.</p><p>"This Skywalker child will know that Light and Dark exists in all of us," Rey murmured. "And that it's the balance that is most important."</p><p>Powerful light, powerful darkness.</p><p>
  <em>Balance.</em>
</p><p><em>You promised me that you'd rest, sweetheart, </em>Rey heard in her mind, and she smiled, imagining Ben's lips against her neck as he spoke to their unborn son, telling him stories of Senate meetings and smuggling runs, and how you've never been truly hugged until you've been hugged by a Wookie.</p><p>"I know," she said. "Goodnight, my love."</p><p>
  <em>Goodnight, Rey. I love you.</em>
</p><p>"I know."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Ben sat with his back against the cold stone wall of his cell, his knees tucked against his chest and his head in his hands as he attempted to calm the swirling mass of emotions flitting around in his mind. He still couldn't believe that he'd managed to keep most of them hidden from Rey while he'd been with her, but now that she was finally asleep the defences he had so carefully constructed began to crumble, leaving nothing except fear in their wake.</p><p>The fear that was so strong it was nearly paralysing, seizing his limbs and leaving him gasping for breath as though someone had caught him in a Force chokehold, its tendrils slowly crushing the very life out of him.</p><p><em>How am I supposed to be able to do this? </em>he thought desperately. <em>I'm not fit to be a father! I can't—I can't—!</em></p><p>With a muffled gasp, Ben dug his fingers into his hair, yanking on the handfuls of strands so hard that he had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. He didn't want to give his guards the satisfaction of seeing him any more unnerved than they had when he'd sensed Rey's collapse, begging them in a panic to please, <em>please </em>find out what was wrong with her.</p><p>And then his elation when the guards announced that he could go and see Rey, really <em>see</em> her outside of the Justice Hall where he wasn't allowed to touch her. To be able to hold her in his arms again, to smell her hair and kiss her lips and feel her smiling against his chest… to hear the Force singing again instead of the usual cacophony of noise he had been forced to hear throughout their separation.</p><p>And then to see their baby, their tiny little boy cuddled up with Rey, the most beautiful image that he could ever imagine… Ben hadn't known it was possible for his heart to swell that much without simply bursting apart at the seams.</p><p>It was a future that Ben had never even dared to dream about, and yet, in only a few short months and whether he was ready or not, it was to become his reality.</p><p>Whether he was free or not, Rey was going to have his child.</p><p>
  <em>I can't leave them alone! I can't!</em>
</p><p>He supposed that his father had had a similar reaction upon hearing the news of his own impending birth. The Han Solo that Ben had known had never planned anything out more than a few days in advance, always preferring to fly by the seat of his pants and make things up as he went. Han had always said that it made him a better smuggler if he was unpredictable, but Ben—and his mother as well—had suspected there was more to it than that. That his fly-by-night philosophy was borne out of the deep, innate restlessness and dissatisfaction with whatever were his current surroundings, and one that he had been unable to shake ever since he'd escaped from Coriellia.</p><p>That wasn't to say that Han never truly loved Ben's mother. On the contrary, it had always been Ben's belief that the love his father had for his mother had been one of the few things that managed to keep Han somewhat grounded. The scoundrel who fell in love with the princess; it sounded like something out of an old angel tale, and yet somehow Han and Leia were mostly able to make it work.</p><p>At least, they were until Ben finally lost the war with the army of dark whispers screaming at him from inside his mind, shattering not only the hearts of his mother and father, but that of his uncle as well.</p><p>"<em>But it wasn't your fault," </em>Ben heard Rey say, his mind recalling a conversation they'd had shortly after arriving on Naboo. He had awoken from a nightmare that had been particularly awful, full of images and scenes that he wished with all of his heart he could forget. Shivering and shaking, he had curled into a tight ball, squeezing his head between his palms as he begged the voices to leave him, to stop tormenting him with their hateful whispers that felt as though he was being poked and prodded with a million lightsabers all the size of a sewing needle.</p><p>But then he had felt Rey's tiny hands curl around his shoulders, her arms guiding his head to rest on her chest as she stroked her fingers through his hair and told him over and over again how much she loved him, and that he would be okay because he was no longer alone.</p><p>They were a dyad in the Force, two that were one. A power unseen for generations.</p><p>Ben had often wondered if the last Force dyad to exist all those generations ago had loved each other as well, given what he'd learned about the Jedi and all of their strict rules against attachment.</p><p>"Attachment was forbidden," a voice suddenly said, startling Ben such that he slammed the back of his head so hard against the stone wall that tears pricked his eyes.</p><p>"Ow!" he exclaimed, gingerly rubbing his fingers across the sore spot as he blinked in the direction of Anakin Skywalker, who had apparently finally decided to stop by and see how he was doing.</p><p>"That really hurt," Ben added, rather petulantly as he unfolded his legs from their tucked up position, grunting as he felt blood begin to flow back into areas that had long gone numb.</p><p>"Yeah, sorry about that," Anakin said with a slight wince. "Didn't mean to scare you."</p><p>"Uh huh," Ben said warily, his eyes flicking towards the guards. "Um… I don't think they're gonna like it too much if they see you in here, so—"</p><p>"Then it's probably good that they can't see me," Anakin replied, grinning when Ben's eyes went wide. "Only people who are Force-sensitive can see me, Ben, surely you know that already."</p><p>"Well, pardon me if I've had just a bit on my mind lately!" Ben snapped. "I'm sure you're aware of what happened tonight?"</p><p>"I am," said Anakin, way too calmly for Ben's taste at the moment. "And how's Rey doing now?"</p><p>"She's fine," Ben said through clenched teeth. "She's asleep, at least for the moment. She hasn't been able to rest very well since—since we got here."</p><p>"Mmm. And I'm going to guess that's been the case for you as well?"</p><p>Ben glowered in Anakin's direction, rubbing at his prickly tingling legs.</p><p>"Well, what do you think?" he said as he jerked his head towards the guards. "They seem to think it's funny to try and keep me awake as much as possible, they won't let me meditate for longer than a few minutes, and I can't even see Rey outside from the tribunal proceedings, so how do you think I'm doing?"</p><p>Anakin let out a sigh as he regarded Ben, his lips twitching in a nearly identical way to Master Luke's whenever he was trying extra hard to hold onto his patience.</p><p>"You're afraid, Ben," he finally said. "And if I were your Jedi Master, this is the exact moment where I would tell you that you can't give into your fear, because—"</p><p>"Yes, yes, I already know," Ben said impatiently. "Fear leads to anger, anger to hatred, and hatred to suffering. You've already told me all of this, but it just doesn't help anything!"</p><p>"That's right, I have," said Anakin. "But if you would've allowed me to finish, I would have then said that I am not your Jedi Master, and in fact, I can completely empathise with what you're feeling in this very moment because I have experienced the exact same fear."</p><p>Ben's head snapped up at Anakin's words, his eyes narrowing as he watched the aura surrounding him shimmer in the dim light of his cell.</p><p>"Then why did you tell me to do this?" Ben asked, hoping against hope that he wasn't pouting. "It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to find my new crystal and <em>then </em>try and clear my name, not—"</p><p>"Yes, that is the plan you initially had," said Anakin. "But Ben, something I think you're forgetting is that in order to actually take hold of your crystal and then assemble your lightsaber, you first need to endure a trial."</p><p>Ben shot him a sharp look. Of course he remembered the proper procedure since he'd already assembled one lightsaber, and watched as Rey assembled hers. But surely Anakin hadn't meant—?</p><p>"And you actually meant a <em>trial-</em>trial?" he asked, incredulous. "That wasn't just another Jedi metaphor?"</p><p>"Not this time, no," answered Anakin. "Rey was able to hear her crystal's call in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant because she had already endured her trial on Exegol. And similarly, you enduring your trial now will eventually allow you to hear your own crystal's call."</p><p>"Yeah? How eventually?" Ben asked, bracing himself for the answer.</p><p>"That I'm afraid I can't tell you," said Anakin. "Because I don't know," he quickly added when Ben's jaw clenched. "Unfortunately, there are still some things that even the Jedi cannot predict."</p><p>Ben's shoulders sagged, and he ran a nervous hand through his hair.</p><p>"I can't—I can't leave them alone," he said quietly. He looked up into the face of the man who had been his grandfather, Jedi Master and patriarch of the Skywalkers. "I can't—no I <em>won't</em>—do that to Rey. I just won't."</p><p>"Well, from only my brief observation of Rey, I highly doubt that she would allow herself to be separated from you anyway, so—"</p><p>"But what if the Resistance finds me guilty and tries to send me to some prison or something? What am I supposed to do then?" Ben cut in. "Rey's not going anywhere with me that's not safe, and especially not with our baby!"</p><p>Anakin was quiet for a moment, rubbing his upper lip between his fingers.</p><p>"What is it that you fear the most?" he asked. "Being separated from Rey and your child, or having them with you in a place that could potentially be unsafe?"</p><p>Anguish pierced Ben's heart like a blaster shot, and he tipped his head forward, grabbing handfuls of his hair and yanking hard. The thought of never seeing Rey or his son again, of his son growing up without a father, feeling abandoned the way he often had with Han being away for months at a time, it was almost too much for Ben to bear.</p><p>As it would be for Rey as well. Ben had no doubt that if he were to be found guilty, Rey would insist on following him to whatever prison the Resistance deposed him rather than run the risk of never being able to see him again, and Ben couldn't blame her. After being forced to grow up completely alone in a hostile environment where every single day was a struggle to survive, Rey would do everything in her power to prevent their family from being torn apart.</p><p>But Ben also knew that if Rey did end up accompanying him and something were to happen to either her or the baby, he would never be able to live with himself.</p><p>"I don't know," he finally said. "I know that it's selfish of me to want them to be with me, but at the same time, is it selfish of me to want my son to know who I am?"</p><p>"No, it is not," Anakin said. "Because that is one of my biggest regrets, that I never had the chance to get to know my own children. I never was able to see them or hold them, to play with them and watch them grow, for them to know me as their father. For even though I was granted the opportunity to reunite with my son shortly before my death, my daughter, your mother, remained completely lost to me, and that is something I won't ever be able to change."</p><p>Another silence fell across the cell as Ben contemplated Anakin's words, pointedly ignoring the puzzled looks from his guards who no doubt believed that he was in the middle of a very animated conversation with only himself.</p><p>"So, then, what do I do?" Ben asked. "Neither choice is a good one."</p><p>"You are correct; neither choice is good," said Anakin. "But you are also assuming that the tribunal will find you guilty, and therefore force you to have to make such a choice."</p><p>Ben's heart skipped a beat. While he'd initially had the smallest of hopes that he might actually go free following the tribunal, those had all but disintegrated during the ten days of the prosecution's presentation. Being forced to listen to witness after witness personally blame him for every single death the Resistance endured during the entirety of the galactic war… well… Ben supposed that was the entire point of it, but for how much faith Ben had in Rey and how strong he knew that she was, sometimes there were still battles that couldn't be won no matter how hard they were fought.</p><p>"You really think I still have a chance to go free?" he asked, so softly he was surprised that Anakin heard him.</p><p>Anakin narrowed his eyes, his lips tightly pursed.</p><p>"I think you should not underestimate Rey's determination to ensure that you go free," he replied. "The bond that the two of you share, a dyad, had been unseen for generations. I had only ever heard whispers of such a bond during my studies under Master Obi-Wan, and even then, it was spoken of with such grandeur and reverence so as to imply that it existed only in legends." He paused, crossing his arms over his front as he regarded Ben. "If I hadn't personally witnessed the immense power of your bond, I'm still not sure that I would have believed it."</p><p>"It was Rey," Ben murmured, his eyes stinging with tears. "She—she saw through the cracks in my masks, all of them. She saw the man behind the veil of the monster, and now—now I just can't live without her. My eyes long to see her, my arms ache to hold her, and I'm afraid—I'm so afraid if we're kept apart for too much longer that I won't have the strength to—to—"</p><p>"Ben, no, that's not what I meant," Anakin interrupted. He let out a heavy sigh as he sat down next to Ben on the hard slab that served as his bunk, tucking his knees up to his chest. "You believe that Rey saved you from the darkness that was Kylo Ren, but she didn't. You turned your back on that darkness on your own."</p><p>"But—!"</p><p>"That's not to say that Rey didn't help you, both through your unique bond and by the very fact that she loves you, passionately and unconditionally, but she did not redeem you," Anakin continued. "It was your own choice to break free of your bonds, to shed your mask and gloves and toss your unstable lightsaber into that raging ocean. It was your own choice, just as turning yourself in was your own choice."</p><p>Ben's throat was so tight from suppressed emotion that he could barely swallow as he met Anakin's eyes. Every single day that he'd had with Rey since she'd woken up in his arms on Exegol had been a gift, one which he still felt unworthy to receive no matter how many times Rey had tried to convince him otherwise. Ben knew that she loved him, as he could sense it across their bond even now, while she slept, but there was still a small part of him that feared that one day Rey would eventually decide to leave him, as everyone else had always left him.</p><p>A part of him that he tried very hard to keep hidden away from her, but knew that somehow she still sensed.</p><p>"Then, what do I do now?" he asked. "How can I help her to help me?"</p><p>The corners of Anakin's lips quirked into the slightest of smiles.</p><p>"You need to remove the final mask, Ben, and allow Rey to access the thoughts that you try so hard to keep hidden," he said. "All of the pain and trauma that you've kept locked away from her out of fear, no matter how many times she's tried to reassure you that it's unnecessary. And I mean all of them, every single dark and tumultuous thought, because only then will she have everything that she needs to present your defence to the judges."</p><p>"No!" Ben shrieked as he jumped to his feet, shaking his head. "I can't risk exposing her to such intense darkness now, she needs to stay as healthy as possible for our baby!"</p><p>"And she will," Anakin said firmly. "You told me yourself that Rey is the strongest person you've ever seen, correct?"</p><p>"Well, yeah, but—"</p><p>"Then let her use that strength, Ben! Let her use her incredible strength to show those judges exactly what you endured. Let her demonstrate to them how you were manipulated and tortured for all of those years until Ben Solo was buried so deeply behind all the masks and layers of Kylo Ren that only someone as strong as Rey would be able to uncover him."</p><p>Ben growled as he plopped back down onto the bunk, tipping his head back against the wall and gasping in pain as he hit the very same spot that he'd slammed earlier.</p><p>"I don't—I don't want her to have to go through all that," he whispered. "It's not fair to her, she doesn't deserve it."</p><p>"No, she doesn't," agreed Anakin. "But she didn't deserve to have to face the Emperor either, and yet when she realised that it was inevitable she didn't hesitate to do so. Just as she won't here."</p><p>"And if you're worried that she'll see something that could possibly alter her feelings for you, then let me reassure you right now that it would be impossible," Anakin continued. "Rey loves you beyond reason, just as you love her, and there is nothing in the galaxy more powerful than that." Anakin leaned forward, his expression so intent it was almost angry. "Do you remember how Rey discovered her crystal on Coruscant, Ben?"</p><p>"Um… she told me that it was cracked," Ben said softly. "Cracked almost in two before she healed it."</p><p>"Yes, that's right," Anakin said. "And does that sound like anyone you might know?"</p><p>The tears Ben had been struggling to contain finally broke free, streaming down his cheeks as he recalled Rey standing over him, droplets of ocean spray mingling with her tears of horror and shame as she healed the stab wound she'd given him during their final duel, an act of love that then gave Ben the push he needed to finally shed Kylo Ren for good.</p><p>"Ben, please listen to me," Anakin pleaded. "I tried so hard to hide the pain and darkness welling up inside me from the woman I loved, and that was the biggest mistake of my life. If I had only chosen to confide in her, to trust in her strength and her love for me, well… I believe things might've gone very differently. I don't want to see you make that same mistake."</p><p>"But Rey's already seen me at my worst," Ben murmured. "The battle on Crait, after I thought she had rejected me, I was so confused and angry and bitter, and—"</p><p>"And yet Rey loves you," said Anakin. "She loved you even then, as she's told you, but she knew that she couldn't force you to see what you needed to see, that you needed to do that for yourself."</p><p>"She still feels guilty for it," whispered Ben. "She's told me."</p><p>"But yet she still did it, even as it broke her heart," Anakin said quietly. "You just need to trust in her, Ben. Trust in Rey's strength and the strength of your bond. A true partnership isn't always equal, sometimes one of you needs to help carry the other for a time."</p><p>Ben's lower lip trembled as he shook his head. "Rey shouldn't have to carry me."</p><p>"But she will," Anakin stated. "She will because right now it's what you need, and she knows it. And if you want to go free, you're going to have to allow it."</p><p>Ben inhaled a deep, shaky breath, scrubbing the tears from his cheeks with his palms. "The defence presentation begins in three days, and we just found out that Rey's pregnant. The timing really couldn't be any worse."</p><p>"Yeah, I'll admit that it's not ideal," said Anakin. "But unfortunately that doesn't change anything."</p><p>"Hmph," Ben muttered, well aware that he was pouting. "Still doesn't mean that I have to like it."</p><p>"I'd be concerned if you did," said Anakin, quirking an eyebrow. He got to his feet, giving Ben a slight bow. "I'd like to tell you to try and get some rest, but somehow I don't think that you'll listen."</p><p>"No," Ben said quickly. "I need to watch over Rey, make sure she's okay."</p><p>"Well, I'm not going to tell you to not do that, but try and remember that your well-being directly affects her, and she's just as concerned for yours as you are for hers." Anakin said as he threw up his hands. "In fact, if you want to know the truth, the two of you are pretty exhausting for everyone at the moment."</p><p>"Mmm," Ben grumbled. "Well, if you're expecting an apology, then I'm afraid you're gonna be waiting for a very long time."</p><p>"No, I don't expect any apologies," Anakin said, already beginning to fade. "Just as long as you don't forget what we discussed."</p><p>Ben sighed, shaking his head as the Force ghost disappeared, leaving him alone in his cell once again.</p><p>"I won't."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Rey shivered, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders as she opened the cover of yet another of Master Luke's texts, absentmindedly reaching for a rice crisp as she began to decipher the ancient language in which it was written. Finn had showed up earlier that morning after her release from the Medical Bay to escort her to the mess hall, insisting on giving her snacks afterwards to take back to her quarters to eat between meals in the hopes that she could avoid another incident like the day before.</p><p>Finding nothing of use on the first page, Rey carefully turned to the next, murmuring the words to herself between bites of the crisp, which, while just about one of the blandest things she had ever put in her mouth at least hadn't yet aggravated her nausea, which had been steadily increasing in conjunction with her level of frustration. She had been hoping to find at least <em>something </em>in Master Luke's books that could assist in her defence of Ben but so far had managed to find next to nothing, and time was rapidly running out.</p><p>She had just turned to the next page when she felt the familiar and yet still heady sensation of Ben's mind touching hers, the delightfully pleasant hum that never failed to send heat blooming across her chest. She instantly smiled, remembering how glorious it had felt to be able to hold him in her arms the previous evening, however briefly it had been.</p><p>"Ben," she said softly.</p><p><em>Good morning, sweetheart, </em>he replied. <em>Did you sleep well?</em></p><p>Rey's smile curled into a smirk as she tilted her head, washing her bite of crisp down with a sip of water.</p><p>"Yes, I did, but I'm sure you knew the answer to that already, didn't you?" Rey knew that Ben tried to hide the fact that he kept watch over her during the nights since his guards didn't allow him to get adequate sleep.</p><p><em>Don't fault me for wanting to make sure that you're safe</em>, she heard after a brief pause.</p><p>"I don't, Ben," Rey said. "I only wish that you would allow yourself to rest from time to time, I don't believe I'm in any danger here."</p><p>
  <em>Maybe not, but I'm not taking any chances. Especially now.</em>
</p><p>Instinctively, Rey placed her palm over her stomach, over the very same spot where she found Ben's hand after she awoke on Exegol.</p><p>"I suppose I can understand that," she said. "I just worry about you as well."</p><p><em>I know, sweetheart.</em> There was another pause, and she felt a change in the pitch of their connection, sending a cold shiver racing down her spine. Something new was troubling him.</p><p>"Ben, what is it?" she asked. "Something's wrong?"</p><p>Ben huffed but didn't answer, only causing the pitch to wobble even more. Rey frowned as she sat up straighter on her bunk, picturing Ben's downcast eyes and slightly trembling lower lip.</p><p>"Please, Ben. Please tell me what's wrong?"</p><p>Finally, he answered. <em>Anakin visited me again last night.</em></p><p>"And?" Rey prompted. "What did he want?"</p><p>
  <em>He had a recommendation for aiding in my defence, but I'm not sure that I agree.</em>
</p><p>"All right. Do you want to tell me what it was?"</p><p>Again there was silence, which stretched out for so long that Rey was about ready to march herself down to the brig and demand to see him when he finally spoke up again.</p><p>
  <em>Anakin wants me to—to expose you to the thoughts I try to keep hidden.</em>
</p><p>Rey's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Expose me? What does that mean?"</p><p><em>Like what happened that—that one morning down at the river, </em>Ben rushed out. <em>When the Dark almost overwhelmed me again.</em></p><p>"Ben, I've told you so many times that I wish you wouldn't try and hide those thoughts from me," Rey said, barely hiding her frustration. "It cannot be good for you, so I just don't understand why you continue to do it."</p><p>
  <em>Because you don't deserve to have to endure those feelings, sweetheart. It's not fair to you.</em>
</p><p>"No, what's not fair is you insisting that you need to try and conquer them on your own," Rey stated. "No one who's endured everything that you endured should be expected to overcome it on their own, Ben, so why should you be any different?"</p><p>Rey huffed when he didn't reply, swinging her legs over her bunk.</p><p>"I'm going to come down to the brig, maybe the guards will let us discuss this in person—"</p><p><em>No! </em>Ben practically shrieked. <em>No, please, don't. Just… give me a moment, I'll come to you.</em></p><p>"Ben—!"</p><p>But before Rey could finish her attempted protest Ben appeared at her side, looking so healthy and beautiful that Rey couldn't help but launch herself at him, ducking her head down under his chin as his arms tucked her close.</p><p>"My sweetheart," Ben whispered into her hair. "My beautiful Rey."</p><p>"How much more of your strength does it take to project yourself like this?" she practically sobbed into his chest. "You don't—you don't need to—!"</p><p>"I know, sweetheart, but I'd much rather you see me like this than the mess I am now," Ben said, stroking his long fingers through her hair. "Now, I'm not sure how much time I have, so—"</p><p>"Well, I can already tell you that I agree with Anakin," Rey cut in. She pulled back, indicating the book she'd abandoned when Ben appeared. "I've been searching and searching through all of these books for something that could help us, something to verify Anakin's return to the Light before his death, and so far I've found nothing! It's almost as though Master Luke wanted to forget that it even happened, but I don't understand why he would want to do that!"</p><p>"I don't know, maybe it was just too personal for Luke to write down?" Ben suggested. "He never wanted the fame and notoriety that he got for his role in the Battle of Endor. As much as he might've hated to admit it, I think he enjoyed his quiet life."</p><p>"Okay, that's all well and good, but that still doesn't help us." Rey slid her palms up Ben's shoulders to cup his cheeks, meeting his beautiful dark brown eyes. "Ben, <em>please </em>don't keep hiding things from me, I promise that nothing I see is going to change how I feel. I love you completely; there's no need for you to still wear masks around me."</p><p>Ben's lower lip began to tremble, tears welling in his eyes as he turned his head to press a kiss to her palm.</p><p>"I don't deserve you."</p><p>"Yes, you do," Rey whispered as she brushed her lips across his. "Please, Ben."</p><p>Several heartbeats later, Ben finally nodded. "All right, but not now. We'll do it tomorrow, I want to make sure that you're as well-rested as possible first."</p><p>"I understand," Rey said as she breathed a sigh of relief. She tucked herself back into Ben's embrace, soaking up the sound of his heartbeat, her heart lurching when she noticed him starting to fade.</p><p>"The guards?"</p><p>"Yes," Ben said sadly. He quickly dipped his head, kissing her softly on the lips. "Rest now, sweetheart. I love you."</p><p>"And I love you," Rey murmured. "All of you, darkness and light, just as you love me."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>As Rey suspected, Ben did try to convince Rey to change her mind the following morning, even using their baby as an excuse to not want to upset her. But, Rey persisted, telling Ben that with only two more days before the defence presentation was due to begin there was no more time for excuses.</p><p>"I'm ready, Ben," she said once she was situated on her bunk, as relaxed as possible. She could already sense the intensity of Ben's fear, squeezing her heart like a trash compactor as she felt their connection waver, trembling like Ben's full lower lip often did when he was upset.</p><p><em>I'm so sorry, sweetheart, </em>she heard across the bond. <em>I never wanted it to be like this.</em></p><p>"But you'll be better for it," she murmured. "And so will I."</p><p>
  <em>I hope so.</em>
</p><p>Inhaling a deep breath, Rey closed her eyes as she exhaled, sensing what almost seemed like a door slowly sliding open across their connection just before she was flooded with a deluge of such strong emotions that they literally stole her breath.</p><p>
  <em>Sorrow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Frustration.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shame.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Abandonment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Numbness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Grief.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fury.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Vengefulness.</em>
</p><p>And interlaced with all of those was the most prominent of them all.</p><p>
  <em>Fear.</em>
</p><p>So much fear that it felt as though the Millennium Falcon had parked itself directly on her chest, pressing all the air from her lungs just slowly enough for her to feel every single molecule as it left. It was overwhelming, as black as starless space and thick enough to block even the tiniest glimmer of Light from entering.</p><p>Since the very day he had been born, no, even <em>conceived,</em> Ben had lived in constant, unrelenting fear, stoked by the voices constantly whispering inside his mind, Snoke and Palpatine. As a baby and small child it tormented him, leaving him unable to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. As an adolescent and teenager it shamed him, isolating him and hindering relationships with others, and as a young adult it bullied him, mercilessly teasing and taunting him until he felt that he had no choice but to give into the darkness.</p><p>"Oh, Ben," Rey gasped as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Oh my love, I am so, so sorry!"</p><p>"<em>You're so lonely, so afraid to leave," </em>Ben had said to her during his interrogation on Starkiller Base. He had been reading her mind, but due to their as-yet-undiscovered bond he had also been reading his own, mirrored in Rey's.</p><p>"<em>Your parents threw you away like garbage, but you can't stop needing them." </em>Ben tapping into one of Rey's own worst fears had pulled up the very same fear inside himself, the abandonment he had felt when his parents sent him away.</p><p>Even Ben's behaviour during their earliest encounters was presented in a new light. Repeatedly slamming his arm into the wound in his side from Chewie's bowcaster during their duel in a desperate attempt to keep his pain and anger at the forefront of his mind, in order to cover his struggle over the death of his father. His shriek of, "<em>Traitor!" </em>at Finn when Rey rushed to Finn's aid when he was actually envious, both of the fact that Finn had managed to break free from the First Order, and because Rey had shown concern for him.</p><p>His awkwardness during their first few Force bond connections, struggling and failing to keep his fragile masks in place.</p><p>And his bitterness at what he perceived as Rey's rejection of him on the Supremacy, right after he had finally killed the creature who had manipulated and tortured him his entire life in order to save her.</p><p>And it was all so strong, so incredibly strong that Rey was immobilised, its strength second only to the combined power of the Sith that she'd felt on Exegol.</p><p>"Oh, Ben!" Rey managed to choke out, her lungs screaming for air. "Ben, I'm so sorry!"</p><p><em>Rey, no, you can't let your guilt overwhelm you, there's nothing that you could've done! Think of our baby! </em>she heard as she forced herself to suck in a staggering breath, her hands clenched so tightly around her blankets that her knuckles felt locked in place.</p><p>
  <em>Rey!</em>
</p><p>"Our baby deserves a father who's free of this pain!" she cried as she pursed her lips, breathing in another deep breath as she deliberately unclenched her fists, laying her palms flat against the bunk.</p><p>
  <em>Powerful light, powerful darkness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not all darkness is bad, just as not all light is good.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There has to be balance.</em>
</p><p>Slowly, Rey peeled back the first layer of blackness. Then another, and another, and another, on and on until she felt the slightest prickles of sensation returning to her limbs, accompanied by the brush of fingertips across her forehead and the splash of a tear on her cheek.</p><p>It was Ben.</p><p>"Rey," he murmured. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry! I'm so—"</p><p>"No. No apologies," she said firmly as Ben drew her into his arms. She curled her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest and wishing so badly that he was real instead of only a projection.</p><p>And suddenly, she knew exactly what she needed to do, exactly how she was going to defend Ben so that the judges would have no choice but to let him—to let <em>them</em>—go free.</p><p>She pulled back, her lips pursed in determination as she guided Ben's palm to her belly, over their baby.</p><p>"All three of us deserve to be free of this pain," she said. "And once all of this is over, we will be."</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Stop by and see me on tumblr, I'm <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geeky-writes">geeky-writes</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geekys-starwars%20">geekys-starwars</a> there! 😊 </strong> </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t wait to see what you think!  Please don’t forget to hit that kudos button and leave me a comment!  💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Part 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey fidgeted on the hard wooden chair in the Justice Hall, her legs bouncing impatiently under the table as she waited for Ben to be brought in. Aside from just being anxious to see him, as she always was, Rey was also hoping to see some improvements in his appearance now that the last of his subconscious masks had finally been destroyed. She had sensed that he'd actually been able to get some decent rest the night before when her nausea had roused her from her own sleep, forcing her to choke down more of the dry rice crisps that despite tasting as bland as the Jakku sand somehow worked very well against the churning in her stomach, which seemed to grow as violent as the ocean crashing against the rocks on Ahch-To on less than a moment's notice.</p><p>Already she and Ben's son seemed to know exactly what he wanted, and when he wanted it.</p><p>Typical Solo.</p><p>Pressing one palm to her belly, Rey looked over the papers scattered across the tabletop, rereading the various notes she'd scribbled down to ensure that she didn't forget anything. A slight smile stretched across her lips as she recalled Finn's confusion at her request for a pen and some paper, repeatedly asking why she couldn't just use a data pad or her computer terminal until he managed to locate the one other person at the base who used actual paper, a ninety-year-old man who had been a friend of General Leia's.</p><p>For all of the confidence she had felt that day after Ben had finally removed the last of his mental blocks, once she had finished her work for the day and attempted to sleep, she'd found her dreams tainted with a series of haunting images. Black hooded figures speaking in deep, sinister voices who repeatedly tortured her beloved with jagged bolts of Force lightning kept forcing their way into her subconscious no matter how hard she tried to block them out, frightening her enough for Ben to project himself back into her quarters so he could comfort her. He had stayed with her as long as he could, only fading away when his guards left him no other choice, but continued to check on her until she was finally able to fall asleep again, only to be roused less than an hour later by Finn's insistent knock on her door.</p><p>"This just came in earlier today," he'd said with a scowl, ignoring her bleary eyes as he pushed a data chip into her hand as though it had burned him. "One of our scouting parties found an abandoned First Order communications base hidden inside a series of mountain caves that had apparently been used as a backup receiver for Supreme Leader Snoke's flagship before it was destroyed." He jerked his head towards the chip in her hand. "There's everything that pertains to Ren—<em>Ben</em>, Hux, Starkiller Base, etc, so… there you go."</p><p>Rey had stared at the chip, her heart already fluttering even as she'd tried to contain her excitement. She had been scrambling all day long for hard facts to back up her presentation, but to find information that had been passed down from Snoke himself? Even the very thought of it was too good to be true.</p><p>"Are you—are you certain?" she'd stammered, barely able to find her voice. "These are Supreme Leader Snoke's very own transmissions?"</p><p>"Yeah," Finn had answered, rather reluctantly. "I've only glanced over it myself, but Rose… she said it was pretty creepy. She said she even had to stop reading a few times to collect herself."</p><p>Nodding, Rey had closed her hand over the chip and thanked Finn, making a beeline for her computer terminal as soon as her door had slid shut. Bracing herself as best as she could, she'd been just about ready to open the first file when she heard Ben's voice in her mind, begging her to wait until daybreak.</p><p><em>Things are always less frightening when viewed in the light of day, sweetheart, </em>he had sent across their bond. <em>Please, you need your rest.</em></p><p>Reluctantly, Rey had acquiesced, mainly for Ben's peace of mind even though she was quite exhausted. But as soon as she'd returned from breakfast the following morning she dove in headfirst, scribbling notes as fast as she could write while trying to keep herself from falling into the bottomless pit of isolation and despair that had kept Ben trapped for so many years.</p><p>Because it was all there. Every single thing that Snoke and Palpatine had done to Ben, all the ways they had manipulated and tortured him, trying to mould him into becoming their perfect First Order puppet, was spelled out in Snoke's very own words right in front of her.</p><p>And the best part of it was, it had been the Resistance that had discovered it, so no one could even use the excuse that Rey had made it all up in a mad attempt to ensure that her beloved could go free. Rey knew that much of the prosecution's presentation had relied on witness testimony, which could never be considered completely foolproof, but she also knew that the judges would likely not hold her own testimony in as high regard given she and Ben's relationship.</p><p>But now, it no longer mattered.</p><p>Rey sensed Ben's arrival even before he even stepped into the Justice Hall, as she always did, her heart fluttering in anticipation of seeing him. She was relieved to find that yes, he did in fact look a little bit better. He was still too thin and his hair had grown too long, hanging limply in front of his forehead, but his deep brown eyes were more clear than Rey had seen them in a long time and his back and shoulders were straighter, as if another large weight had finally been lifted from them.</p><p>If nothing else, at least Rey had been able to give him that deep, visceral relief that he finally had nothing more to hide.</p><p>
  <em>Finally.</em>
</p><p>"Good morning, love," she whispered once Ben had taken his seat next to her, flexing his wrists which were rubbed raw from the binders the guards still insisted on using. Rey had spoken to Finn about that again just the previous night, practically begging him to dispense with the binders and imploring that Ben was not at all a danger to anyone at the base but he had told her no yet again, saying that they were doing things "by the book" and had no plans to stop.</p><p>He had then tried to add that Leia would've insisted on them as well, but barely was able to get her name out before Rey halted him with a fierce glare. No matter how much had happened between Leia and Ben, Rey knew without a doubt that if she were still alive, things would've been progressing differently.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Ben whispered back, which had become his standard answer to her greeting over the course of the trial. Rey gave a nod, trying to smile even as her fingers itched to touch him, to pat his knee or squeeze his hand in reassurance. She and Ben had become so dependent on each other's touch during their time together that it was almost more difficult for her to see him and not be allowed to touch him than it was for her to not see him at all.</p><p>"I'm fine," she replied. "We're both fine."</p><p>Ben huffed in relief, shooting her a brief wink before assuming the straight-backed position he always held during the presentations, his eyes trained firmly on the row of judges who were taking their seats at the front of the room.</p><p>"All right," Poe said once everyone was quiet. "As you probably already know, this is military tribunal case number one-one-three-eight, The People vs. Ben Solo, also known throughout the galaxy as Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order. As the prosecution has now rested its case, today marks the beginning of the defence presentation." He nodded towards Rey, indicating for her to take her place near the front. "Whenever you're ready."</p><p>Her heart thudding, Rey slowly pushed back her chair and stepped up to the front, breathing in deeply as she made deliberate eye contact with three different members of the crowd before turning her attention to the five judges. She had attempted to assess their reactions during the ten days of the prosecution's presentation, hoping it would help her prepare a more thorough argument for Ben's defence, and so far she had sensed that the two women on the panel, Lieutenant Connix and Commander D'Acy, both of whom Rey knew had been especially close to Leia for as long as she'd known her, seemed to be at least a bit sympathetic towards Ben, while the three men, Poe Dameron, Finn, and another officer named Beaumont who Rey didn't know well at all, had been more difficult to read. Finn had been especially hard for Rey to assess, as his view of Ben seemed to be heavily influenced by the fact that he still was convinced that Ben had Rey under some sort of mind control.</p><p>"Thank you, General Dameron," Rey said, clearing her throat as she glanced briefly at her notes, littered with various smudges of ink and more than a few teardrops. "Over the course of the last two weeks there have been numerous testimonies offered regarding the person identified as Kylo Ren, the supposed figurehead of the First Order, and while I'm not here to dispute most of those testimonies, I am here to present facts that will clearly demonstrate to all of you that Ben Solo was not the monster that so many of you see, but rather an unwilling victim in the grand schemes of not only Supreme Leader Snoke and the First Order, but also Emperor Palpatine and the Sith." She paused, looking directly at Finn before continuing. "I will, during my presentation, demonstrate that Ben Solo's fate was very much on par with those who were ripped from their families as children by the First Order, and trained to become Stormtroopers."</p><p>Finn visibly gulped, and a hushed murmur rose from the crowd at Rey's surprising statement. Rey chanced a quick glance at Ben, his eyes radiating such enormous pride and gratitude that she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. She had already managed to capture the attention of not only the judges, but the rest of the attendees as well.</p><p>Deliberately relaxing her shoulders the way Ben had taught her, Rey began, taking the entirety of the morning session to describe in painful detail how, via the very own words of Armitage Hux, general of the First Order's armies, the First Order in its infancy had deliberately sought out the children of who they considered to be heroes of the Rebellion, taking thousands upon thousands of them to be trained as Stormtroopers in their desire to create an army similar to the former clone army of the Republic.</p><p>"But aside from an army, the grandest ever to be created, according to the plans of Supreme Leader Snoke," she said. "They also required a figurehead, someone who by his very being would be enough to strike a blow directly into the hearts of the First Order's enemies."</p><p>Rey paused for a moment, making eye contact with Lieutenant Connix before continuing.</p><p>"And so, due to his direct role in the presumed death of Emperor Palpatine and the redemption of Palpatine's most trusted apprentice, Darth Vader, shortly before his death, Snoke then chose to target his mortal enemy, Luke Skywalker, through his nephew, the child of his twin sister Leia and her new husband, Republic hero Han Solo." She swallowed hard, deliberately avoiding looking at Ben. "That child was Ben Solo."</p><p>Another burst of hushed murmurs erupted from the audience, and Rey pressed her palm to her chest, willing herself to stay calm. She could sense Ben's soothing influence inside her mind, helping her keep her emotions in check even as his own had to be roiling.</p><p>"I was told, by none other than Master Luke himself after I sought him out, that Ben Solo had essentially been targeted by Snoke while he was still in his mother's womb. That Ben had been haunted from infancy by whispered voices, manifesting themselves as threads of the Dark Side that the Republic had thought it had vanquished. Threads that prompted his parents to seek out Master Luke's help by the time Ben was ten years old."</p><p>Rey paused again, taking a sip of water from her glass resting on the table as the judges exchanged pointed glances, with Poe finally clearing his throat.</p><p>"Ah, can you please elaborate some more on that point, Rey?" he asked. "If you don't mind?"</p><p>"Okay," Rey said slowly, her belly giving a violent swoop. She knew what she was about to reveal about Ben's parents could potentially backfire since Leia had been so well-loved by the Resistance, but it had to be said. Ben deserved for his truths to be known, no matter how difficult they were to hear.</p><p><em>It's all right, sweetheart, </em>she heard suddenly across the bond. <em>Don't worry about me, just tell the truth.</em></p><p>With a single nod, Rey looked Poe directly in the eye. "General Leia had known that her father was Anakin Skywalker, better known as the Sith Lord Darth Vader, for Ben's entire life, but yet chose to keep that information from Ben out of fear. Being the sister of Luke Skywalker, Leia was also Force-sensitive, and so had sensed the darkness hidden deeply inside her son, darkness nurtured by the constant whispers of Emperor Palpatine. That darkness frightened her enough that she and Han chose to send Ben away to train with his uncle rather than tell him the truth about his lineage. Because of this, until he was twenty-three years old, Ben Solo was unaware that his maternal grandfather was Darth Vader."</p><p>Poe's eyes went wide, and he exchanged another loaded glance with Finn before leaning forward.</p><p>"Okay, so, while I can admit that sounds rather tragic, I'm still not sure how it can explain all of the crimes committed by Kylo Ren during his time with the First Order."</p><p>"Because Snoke and Palpatine were afraid of Luke Skywalker," said Rey. "So afraid, in fact, that they spent considerable time and resources trying to locate and destroy him. Corrupting his nephew for their own nefarious purposes was part of their plan. Tearing Ben Solo away from everything he knew and loved was not only revenge against the man who had turned Anakin Skywalker back to the Light, but also struck a severe blow to the fledgling Resistance. Ben's very name was supposed to represent hope in the galaxy, and to have him then taken and corrupted for Snoke's own use was especially harsh."</p><p>"Yes, but that still doesn't really answer the question," Finn spoke up. "How does all of this explain the many crimes against the Resistance committed by Kylo Ren?"</p><p>Rey pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing slightly.</p><p>"It explains it in the very same way as it does your own crimes against the Resistance, General," she said, low and tight. "Before you were known as Finn, General of the Resistance, you were FN-2187, First Order Stormtrooper, and you had no other choice but to follow the orders passed down from your superiors. And you, General Dameron," she continued, turning her attention to Poe. "You in fact shot and killed the very trooper—Finn's comrade—on Jakku that prompted Finn to remove his helmet and renounce the First Order. You were the catalyst that led to Finn's choice to redeem himself." She stole a quick glance at Ben, her lips quirking into the slightest of smiles. "And for Ben, I was his. Through a series of events, events that showed without a doubt that our two destinies were uniquely linked, Ben was able to finally break free from his First Order conditioning and renounce it."</p><p>Silence fell across the Justice Hall as Poe dragged his eyes towards Finn, his eyebrows knitting into a frown.</p><p>"Is that true?" Poe asked, not without an edge of disbelief.</p><p>Finn gave a nod, his eyes trained on the table in front of him.</p><p>"Yes. It is."</p><p>Poe let out an exasperated grunt. "And, what, you never told me about this? Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"</p><p>"Well, I told Rey—"</p><p>"Yeah, I got that much, but I'm still wondering why you never told me? We've worked together for how long now? This seems like something that I would've wanted to know!"</p><p>"Um, pardon me, Generals," interrupted Lieutenant Connix, giving a slight cough. "But I believe it is time to break for lunch, so…"</p><p>"Ah, yeah," replied Poe, with a final glare in Finn's direction. "We will now pause for a one-hour recess, after which Rey will continue her presentation."</p><p>Through misty eyes, Rey watched as Ben was shackled yet again and taken from the Justice Hall, hoping desperately that it would be one of the last times she would be forced to witness such a thing. Objectively she wanted to believe that she'd been able to break through at least some of the prejudices held steadfast in the minds of the judges, especially with her remarks regarding Finn, but as it was literally her beloved's life on the line and the fact that her nausea had ramped up to an almost unbearable level in only the last couple of minutes, she wasn't feeling quite that optimistic.</p><p>"All right," she muttered in the general direction of her belly. "Let's go and feed you."</p><p>Rey avoided any eye contact as she entered the mess hall, hurriedly taking her food back to her quarters to enjoy in relative peace rather than face the stares from everyone around her, and also to reduce the risk of accidentally vomiting all over someone. She knew that she'd hit a rather sensitive nerve with her remarks about Finn, but couldn't bring herself to feel bad about it. Finn had told her shortly after she and Ben arrived that the Resistance had expended a lot of resources trying to relocate entire legions of First Order Stormtroopers after the battle on Exegol, so Rey figured if they could do that much for the former enemy armies then they could hopefully find it in themselves to set Ben free to return home, where they would never have to see him again.</p><p>And along that same vein, Rey highly suspected that Lando and Chewie, currently on one of those very relocation missions, had been warned not to return to the base while Ben's trial was still ongoing, although as to exactly what reason she was unsure.</p><p>Regardless, it was probably for the best, since Rey wasn't quite sure how seeing either of them would affect Ben at the moment, even though it still pained her occasionally. Now that Leia was gone, Lando and Chewie were the only family that Ben had left besides her, and she would hate for him to have to go the rest of his life without seeing two of the people who he had loved so dearly as a child.</p><p><em>Rey, it's not worth it to think about things like that, </em>Rey heard suddenly across the bond. <em>You need to conserve your strength.</em></p><p>"I'm fine, Ben," she replied with a sigh. "And I'm afraid it's impossible for me not to think about things like that, so you'll just have to get used to it."</p><p>She felt their connection shimmer, like Ben was chuckling.</p><p>
  <em>I'm pretty sure I'm already used to it, Rey, just as you're used to my concerns. How are you feeling now? Any better?</em>
</p><p>"Yes," she said, because truthfully she was. It was almost funny how quickly her nausea abated once she was able to eat something, almost as if Ben and their son were conspiring together to make sure she stayed as healthy as possible.</p><p>Which, she realised, likely wasn't too far from the truth.</p><p>
  <em>You're absolutely right about that, sweetheart.</em>
</p><p>Rey smiled, pressing her palm to her abdomen. "I know."</p><p>But her moment of calm was brief, evaporating almost as soon as she returned to the Justice Hall. If the morning's presentation hadn't been nerve-wracking enough, she now had to delve in deeper into the specific crimes of which Ben was accused. The massive destruction resulting from the use of Starkiller Base, the fierce battle fought in the space above D'Qar that destroyed the Resistance's flagship and almost cost Leia her life, and the battle on Crait.</p><p>And, the worst of them all, the death of Ben's father. Finn had specifically made a point to include that.</p><p>"All right," she said once everyone was seated. She snuck a quick look at Ben, his eyes trained on her as he sent thought after thought of encouragement and strength, their bond practically glowing between them.</p><p>
  <em>You can do this, sweetheart. I have faith in you.</em>
</p><p>Shuffling her notes, Rey began addressing Starkiller Base, combining Ben's personal testimony along with several key quotes from General Hux that she'd found in the First Order's database regarding the construction and utilisation of the ice planet, Ilum, known across the galaxy as containing one of the richest deposits of kyber crystals. Believing that converting the planet into a weapon would be less risky than attempting to build yet another Death Star, the First Order had poured an incredible amount of resources into the base, intending to use it to strike what it hoped was the final blow to the Resistance and its supporters.</p><p>"However, while Ben was in fact present on the base when the order came from Leader Snoke to target D'Qar, he was not at all involved with the construction of the weapon or with its use," Rey said firmly. "That onus fell exclusively on General Hux and Leader Snoke."</p><p>"And are we to assume that you have proof of this?" asked Beaumont, which was the first time he had even opened his mouth during Rey's arguments.</p><p>Rey pursed her lips. "Yes, I do," she stated. "The First Order communications recently acquired by the Resistance contain a series of messages sent between General Hux and Supreme Leader Snoke regarding the base, and in not a single one of them is Ben Solo or Kylo Ren mentioned, either by name or reference, nor are there any messages sent by Kylo Ren to Leader Snoke that reference it. From the evidence that's available, Kylo Ren was kept completely separate from everything regarding Starkiller Base, including the orders to fire."</p><p>Beaumont raised his eyebrows, glancing over at Finn who gave a reluctant nod.</p><p>"Oh. Well, all right then. Please, continue."</p><p>Sucking in a deep breath, Rey next addressed the space battle, using Ben's testimony that he'd personally veered off his attack as soon as he'd sensed his mother's presence on board the Resistance flagship, the Raddus, which was then subsequently destroyed by other First Order attack ships. Again, proof in the form of another communique sent by General Hux to Leader Snoke ranting about Ben's lack of conviction gave weight to her words, and Rey's heart leapt when she noticed Lieutenant Connix hastily swiping a tear from her eye.</p><p>Maybe, just maybe, Rey was starting to get through to them.</p><p>"All right, but I'm afraid that none of that justifies what happened on Crait," Finn said, glaring harshly in Ben's direction. "The Resistance was trapped, completely cornered after suffering nearly devastating losses and with absolutely no backup, and from what we could see, Ren was going full throttle in his attempts to wipe us out."</p><p>Tears stung Rey's eyes at the memory, of Ben's nearly overwhelming anger laced with such painful betrayal that it was as though he'd been broadcasting it straight into her mind.</p><p>Which, deliberately or not, he likely had been.</p><p>"Let me begin first with Han Solo's death," she said, clearing her throat when her voice wavered. Her nausea was already starting to return, and she felt Ben's soothing presence increase as he attempted to stay ahead of it.</p><p>"It is fairly common knowledge amongst the Jedi that in order for a Sith apprentice to fully embrace the Dark Side, he or she must first pass a test. Anakin Skywalker, for example, who after embracing his new identity as Darth Vader, was tasked with destroying all of the younglings currently studying in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant." Rey paused, sucking in a deep, shaky breath. "And for Ben, who had already been assigned by Leader Snoke to find and destroy Luke Skywalker, when Han Solo suddenly appeared on Starkiller Base, Snoke then decided that Ben needed to kill him in order to complete his training.</p><p>"Now, it is imperative to remember that by this point, Ben had been separated from his parents since he was ten years old. In fact, he had spent more years of his life training with Master Luke than he'd had with his own mother and father, and had not seen either of them since the day he was sent away. It is also imperative to remember that shortly after Ben Solo discovered the truth about his grandfather, he awoke in the night to find his uncle and mentor, Luke Skywalker, standing over him with his ignited lightsaber, poised to strike, an act that resulted in the destruction of his training temple and Ben convinced that his very own uncle had wanted to kill him."</p><p>Another hushed murmur rose from the crowd, and Rey took a large gulp of her water, hoping it would help calm the churning in her stomach. The last thing she needed was to vomit right in the middle of the most difficult part of her presentation.</p><p><em>Please, little one, </em>she pleaded. <em>Please settle down for just a bit longer!</em></p><p>"Try to imagine just how Ben had to feel in that moment," she continued, her strong voice belying her own rapidly growing nervousness. "When he realised that in order to please the only Master who seemed to have truly accepted him, something he had been conditioned to believe, he had to kill his own father. Now, take that thought and watch as Ben senses his father's presence on Starkiller Base, but chooses to not pursue him, hoping against hope that he'll simply give up and leave. Watch as Ben attempts to walk away from his father only to have Han call out to him, demanding to see his face, a face he hasn't seen since Ben was ten years old. Listen as Han attempts to talk to Ben, telling him that it's not too late, that he can still come home. That Snoke is only using him as a means to a horrible end. Watch as Ben struggles, admits to Han that he's literally being torn down the middle, just as the last of the light from D'Qar's star gets extinguished by the base's weapon, and there's nothing left behind but darkness."</p><p>She paused for a moment for her words to sink in, the Justice Hall absolutely silent.</p><p>"Now, try to imagine the repercussions of that horrible act. The immense guilt that Ben carried because of it, guilt that Snoke then used to further his torture, taunting him as weak, undisciplined, and compassionate. Try to imagine Ben getting a chance to attempt to make up for that act of darkness shortly thereafter by saving my life when Snoke ordered him to kill me, and killing Snoke instead.</p><p>"And now," she said, glancing over at Ben as she blinked back the tears threatening to fall. "Imagine Ben, who's just killed the very being who had manipulated and tortured him for his entire life, holding out his hand towards the one person he felt understood him, and watching as she misunderstands his intentions and rejects him." Rey hastily swiped at her eyes, turning to face the judges head-on. "If you can imagine it, then that was the Ben whom we all saw on Crait. A tortured, broken, shell of a man who felt as though he had nothing more to lose, and also exactly how Palpatine wanted him."</p><p>She paused again, the silence in the massive room nearly deafening.</p><p>"Ben Solo never truly fell to the Dark Side of the Force, but was instead imprisoned by it, trapped by the schemes of a man who had spent decades manipulating everything around him to suit his own ultimate evil purposes, the complete extinction of the Jedi and the rebirth of the Sith. But instead of surrendering to Palpatine and his immense power, Ben instead chose to face him, side by side with me on Exegol. He chose to cast aside the chains he had worn for most of his life just when the Resistance needed him most, enabling the two of us to stop Palpatine and allow his massive fleet of planet-killing Star Destroyers to be destroyed. Without Ben Solo, Palpatine would have won and the Resistance would no longer be, and that is a fact which is indisputable."</p><p>Her legs shaking beneath her, Rey grabbed onto the edge of the table, her heart lurching painfully as she saw Ben immediately reach for her only to pull himself back when one of the guards grabbed his shoulder. Thankfully Finn seemed to pick up on her distress, quickly clearing his throat.</p><p>"Does that conclude your arguments, Rey?" he asked.</p><p>"Yes, it does."</p><p>"All right. The judges will now retreat to contemplate their votes. We will reconvene once a verdict has been reached. Dismissed!"</p><p>"Rey? Sweetheart, go and rest now, okay?" Ben pleaded as the guards took him by the arms, his dark eyes glassy but so full of love that Rey's heart nearly burst. "Promise me?"</p><p>"I promise," she whispered. A single tear snaked its way down her cheek as Ben's hands were bound and he was led from the room, for what she desperately hoped would be the very last time.</p><p>
  <em>I love you so much, sweetheart. No matter what happens, always remember that.</em>
</p><p>"I could never forget it," she murmured, covering her mouth with her hand as more tears began to fall. "Not ever."</p><p>
  <em>Not in a million lifetimes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>The three days spent by the judges in deliberations were quite possibly the longest three days that Rey had ever endured in her entire life. She couldn't sleep, could barely eat enough to stave off her persistent nausea even with Ben's near-constant hovering, and in general grew so impatient and anxious that by the time Finn knocked on her door to tell her that the verdict would be announced the following morning, Rey had bitten all of her fingernails so far down into the quick that a couple of them had started to bleed.</p><p>Rey's heart was lodged in her throat as she made her way into the Justice Hall and took her seat, the excited murmurs from the capacity crowd buzzing like sparks from an exposed wire. She'd had to force herself to try and eat that morning even though everything she put past her lips tasted like sand, causing her to gag so many times that she eventually just gave up and chugged some water, hoping it would be enough to keep her stomach settled.</p><p>The crowd fell silent as the judges appeared, shuffling over to their table at the front of the room, followed directly by Ben and his guards. Rey bit her lip as she glanced over at him, his chin trembling and his eyes trained on the tabletop.</p><p><em>Rey,</em> she heard across their bond, the quavering word piercing her heart like a dagger. <em>Sweetheart, it's gonna be okay. No matter what, it's gonna be okay.</em></p><p>"Oh, I hope so!" she whispered, flinching when Finn cleared his throat.</p><p>"After a total of eleven days of testimony and presentations in the trial of Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, we are prepared to submit our votes. Officer Beaumont, you will begin."</p><p>"I vote guilty," Beaumont said, without hesitation.</p><p>"Very well," said Finn. "Lieutenant Connix?"</p><p>"I vote not guilty," said Connix, also without hesitation.</p><p>"All right. Commander D'Acy?"</p><p>"I vote not guilty," she replied, a slight quiver in her voice. "For Leia."</p><p>Finn gave a nod before jerking his head in Poe's direction.</p><p>"General Dameron?"</p><p>Poe pursed his lips as he stared intently at Rey, his face unreadable.</p><p>"I vote guilty," he said, and Rey's stomach dropped. The vote was tied, which meant that Finn's vote would decide if Ben went free or to prison, and with how much animosity she knew Finn held for Ben, it seemed as though that last tiny glimmer of hope was fading into oblivion.</p><p><em>It's gonna be okay, sweetheart, </em>she heard, over and over in her mind as she clenched her fists into the fabric of her tunic. <em>It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be—</em></p><p>"I vote not guilty," Finn said, and Rey gasped, her head snapping up so fast that she wrenched her neck, turning to Ben to see his own shocked expression an exact mirror of her own. The crowd had erupted, some in cheers and some in disgust, but Rey ignored them all as Ben grabbed her hand, hesitating only for a second before lifting her to her feet and into the biggest, warmest hug she could possibly imagine.</p><p>"Rey!" he rasped into her hair. "Rey, we—!"</p><p>"We can go home!" Rey finished. "Ben, we can finally go home!"</p><p>"Home," Ben repeated. "We can go home."</p><p>A tap on her shoulder caused her to raise her head, and she turned to find Finn standing behind her, having dismissed Ben's guards.</p><p>"So… ah… I'd offer one of our guest quarters to Ben, but something tells me that—"</p><p>"That won't be necessary," Rey said firmly as she gripped Ben's elbow. "We won't be staying long."</p><p>"Yeah, I didn't think so." Finn let out a heavy sigh, shifting awkwardly on his feet. "Well, just let me know if you need anything before you go, okay?"</p><p>"Thank you," Ben said, almost a whisper.</p><p>"We really appreciate it," added Rey. "Truly."</p><p>"Yeah." Finn stepped back, eyeing Ben warily. "Well, I guess I'll leave you guys to… whatever it is you're wanting to do, so…"</p><p>"Rey needs to rest," said Ben, his large hand resting rather possessively on Rey's shoulder. "She hasn't been able to sleep well lately."</p><p>"Right," said Finn. "Well, like I said, let me know if you need anything."</p><p>Sensing that Ben was just barely holding himself together, Rey gave Finn a nod and took Ben's hand, leading him past the lingering crowd and out of the Justice Hall to her quarters, where Ben wrapped her in his arms as soon as the door had slid closed behind them.</p><p>"Rey!" he cried, tucking her head under his chin as he finally released the sobs he'd been struggling to contain ever since Finn had announced his vote. Rey trailed her hands softly up and down his back, murmuring soothing words into his chest as Ben cried like she'd never seen him cry before, his entire broad upper body trembling with the tears of relief and joy that they could now leave this place and go home, but also of sadness and regret for all of the immense sorrow and tragedy that had led to the need for Ben's acquittal.</p><p>Regardless, the galactic conflict that had begun in the embers and whispers following the Emperor's so-called demise on the second Death Star and culminated in the oppressive military fascism of the First Order, had finally, <em>finally,</em> come to an end.</p><p>The galaxy was <em>free, </em>and now, so was Ben.</p><p>Time seemed to suspend as Ben cried himself out, his tears dampening Rey's hair as the entire galaxy condensed down to just the two of them locked in their fierce embrace, the two that were one.</p><p><em>What if—what if I'd never found you? </em>she heard across their bond. <em>What would I have done? Rey? I can't—I can't imagine—</em></p><p>"It doesn't matter anymore, love, because you did," Rey replied, muffled against his chest. "I'm here. I am with you, now and for always."</p><p>Ben nodded, inhaling a huge, shuddering breath before burying his face into her neck.</p><p>
  <em>You're here. You stood with me, by me.</em>
</p><p>"Yes I did, and I always will." Rey reached for his hand, guiding his palm to her abdomen. "We both will."</p><p>He pulled back then, still sniffling as he scrubbed the fallen tears from his pale cheeks, his dark eyes swollen and red but still filled with joy as he pressed his forehead to hers.</p><p>"You both will."</p><p>"We both love you, Ben," she whispered. "More than anything."</p><p>"I know," he murmured, his chin quivering as he attempted a smile. "I can feel it."</p><p>"And now we can leave," she added. "Just as soon as you're ready."</p><p>Ben's smile deepened, his fingertips trailing down her cheek to her jaw, tilting her head up so he could kiss her lips. It was a sweet, chaste kiss, meant to convey gratitude as well as love, but still filled with so much underlying intimacy that it stole Rey's breath. The weeks that she and Ben had been apart during the trial preparation and presentations had been agonising, her body constantly yearning for his touch, and she knew that it had been even worse for him.</p><p>"I want to go tomorrow," he said once they broke apart, breathing each other's exhales. "As soon as possible."</p><p>"Then we will," answered Rey. The question of exactly <em>how </em>they would leave still nagged at the back of her mind but she chose to ignore it, not wanting to think about it and ruin the moment.</p><p>"Which means I better get packing." Rey's nose wrinkled as she curled her fingers into the rough fabric of Ben's shirt. "And I think you would enjoy some time in the fresher so I can burn these awful prison clothes."</p><p>"Somehow I don't think that General Finn would appreciate you starting a fire in your quarters, but I get the hint anyway," Ben said with a chuckle. He pecked her on the lips again, stroking her cheek before heading into the fresher, tossing the hateful canvas shirt and too-short pants onto the floor a few seconds later. Rey's breath hitched as she imagined Ben's naked body standing underneath the hot spray of the water, wishing so badly that she could shed her own clothes and join him. But her fresher was barely big enough for one person and definitely not big enough for Ben to use without having to crouch down, so she would just have to wait until he was able to build them their own once they got back to Naboo.</p><p>Their <em>home.</em></p><p>Their little home in the forest, built by Ben's own hands and surrounded by trees and rivers and so many living things that there was no way Rey could ever count them all. She had spent most of her life stuck on a planet surrounded by sand, devoid of colour and teeming with suspicion and ugliness, and now she couldn't wait to return to Naboo, the planet that was such a sharp contrast to Jakku that she couldn't help but think that it was yet another Jedi metaphor.</p><p>"Hmph," she said at the thought. "I think we've both had enough of the Jedi metaphors."</p><p>"<em>It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Jedi, the Sith… let it all die."</em></p><p>Those had been Ben's words, said to her just after they had defeated the last of Snoke's praetorian guards in his throne room. Rey gasped as she heard them again in her mind, squeezing her eyes closed as the all-too-familiar guilt welled up inside her gut. Heartbroken at what she'd perceived as a horrible mistake, she had taken Ben's words at face value, not fully understanding the immense amount of courage it had taken for him to actually kill Snoke nor the vastness of his knowledge regarding the politics of not only the First Order and the Resistance, but both the Jedi and the Sith as well.</p><p>Ben had only ever wanted balance. He knew as a young child that he was Force-sensitive and talented at wielding it, but he'd also wanted to grow up to be a pilot like his father, not a Jedi. Unfortunately, with the Jedi all but extinct save for Master Luke, Ben was never allowed to make that choice for himself, yet another factor in the immense tragedy of his upbringing.</p><p>But Rey had been too confused and upset to see what Ben had been truly proposing. A political system that was both fair and orderly, two things that were never meant to be mutually exclusive but had been made to seem so by the opposing sides. Force users who could be trained like the Jedi but still allowed to fall in love, to marry and have children, not doomed to a life of isolation and loneliness just because some ancient book said it had to be so, and no more Rule of Two, of killing the master in order for the apprentice to advance.</p><p>"No more," she murmured aloud to herself. From that point on, she and Ben—and their son—would only strive to maintain balance.</p><p>
  <em>Powerful light, powerful darkness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Balance.</em>
</p><p>It's all either of them desired, aside from each other.</p><p>"Then it will be so," Rey said firmly. "Only balance."</p><p>She had managed to get most of her things organised and packed by the time Ben emerged from the fresher, a towel slung low around his waist and his damp hair mussed. It occurred to Rey then that she'd completely forgotten to ask for some clothes to be brought over for Ben, something she would have to remedy before they departed in the morning.</p><p>At the moment, though, she was in absolutely no hurry to cover him up. Even though he had obviously lost weight during the trial, Ben was still the most beautiful man that she could possibly imagine, a thought that Ben couldn't help but pick up on when a light pink flush creeped up his cheeks and he shot her one of his crooked Solo smiles.</p><p>"Come here," she murmured, holding out her hand. "Let me brush out your hair."</p><p>Ben's eyes were misty as he took Rey's hand, allowing her to lead him over to the small table against the opposite wall. As soon as Ben sat down Rey planted her palms on his shoulders and leaned forward, inhaling the delectable scent of his freshly washed hair that not even the standard-issue plain Resistance soap could suppress.</p><p>"You smell amazing," she said as she picked up her hairbrush, carefully stroking it through Ben's gloriously thick onyx strands until they shone like one of the stars in the night sky, the very same stars that she and Ben loved to gaze at during the clear nights on Naboo. Ben's eyes fluttered closed, a small noise of pleasure escaping from his throat as she brushed, noting that it would be time for him to get another haircut once they returned home.</p><p>"That felt so good, sweetheart, thank you," he murmured once she was done, winding her arms around his neck and kissing the top of his head. His large hands curled around her arms to hold her in place as he locked eyes with her in the mirror in front of them, pressing a kiss to the inside of her elbow.</p><p>"I could tell," Rey whispered. "This is the most relaxed you've been in a long time. In fact, I'm fairly certain that you've nearly melted into the chair."</p><p>Ben gave a small nod, his expression morphing into one of adoration mixed with mild disbelief, not too unlike how he had looked at her after their very first kiss, on the floor of that awful Sith temple on Exegol.</p><p>"What?" she said gently as she pressed her lips to his temple. "Ben, what is it?"</p><p>"It's nothing," he choked out, his lower lip shaking as he sucked in a sharp, sudden breath. "I just… I just need to—" He broke off, his throat bobbing as he swallowed and his fingers tightening around Rey's arm. "I just—I just need to ask you—"</p><p>"Ben, you're starting to worry me. What's wr—?"</p><p>"Marry me?" he suddenly said, his eyes going wide with shock as soon as the words left his mouth. He quickly drew Rey around him to sit on his lap, his chin trembling as he gazed into her eyes. "Rey, I want—I mean, will you? Will you marry me?"</p><p>"What?" she asked, which was obviously not the right answer when Ben squeaked, his panic shooting so intensely across their bond that Rey shivered. "No, wait, that's not what I meant! What I meant was it'd never really occurred to me, so I didn't know that—"</p><p>Another shiver wracked her body as she watched Ben's cheeks drain of colour, and she let out a frustrated grunt as she grabbed his face and kissed him firmly on the lips, trying to pull her thoughts together before she said anything else wrong.</p><p>"What I meant was," she said once they broke apart, before Ben could even open his mouth. "That I guess I believed we already were." She smiled shyly as she traced his cheek with her fingertips. "Once we got to Naboo I guess I just always thought of us that way. Didn't you?"</p><p>"Yes, I did," Ben said, low and raspy. He cleared his throat, biting down hard on his bottom lip. "But I still—I mean, as long as you'd be okay with—with it, I'd like—I'd like it to be official if—if that's okay."</p><p>"Ben," Rey whispered, brushing her fingers across his beautiful full lips. "Of course it's okay."</p><p>"Really?" Ben said, his face suddenly filled with such a childish hope that Rey had to swallow a giggle. "You'll really marry me?"</p><p>"Yes!" Rey exclaimed. "Why do you sound so surprised?"</p><p>"Well, you didn't exactly give me the answer I was hoping for at first, so I guess—"</p><p>She cut him off with another kiss, unable to resist his petulant yet adorable pout, cupping his cheeks in her hands. Ben returned the kiss eagerly, his hand trailing up her spine to stroke the back of her neck as he tilted his head, swiping his tongue along her bottom lip. Rey moaned into his mouth as his tongue swept inside, stroking against hers as his arm pressed her even tighter against him.</p><p>"Ben," she said on a gasp as he pulled away from her mouth to trail kisses down her jaw to her neck, sucking gently on her pulse point as she buried her fingers into his thick black waves. "<em>Ben!"</em></p><p>"I'm here," he murmured as he kissed across the column of her throat. "I'll always be here."</p><p>"Ben, I need—I need—" she stammered as Ben's lips found hers again and his arm slid underneath her knees, lifting her up and carrying her towards her small bunk. As carefully as if she'd been made of porcelain he laid her down, climbing up to hover over her, his eyes sweeping across her face like he couldn't believe she was real.</p><p>"Rey," he whispered, his chest already heaving with each stuttered breath as he settled into the cradle of her legs. "You're—you're—"</p><p><em>You're mine, </em>he said across their bond.</p><p>"I am," Rey replied. "I am yours, and you are mine. Two that are one."</p><p>Ben smiled, that glorious, happy smile that Rey loved almost as much as she did him as he touched her cheek, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone.</p><p>"A true dyad."</p><p>"Yes." She squirmed slightly under his magnetic gaze, feeling very overdressed as she reached for the hem of her tunic.</p><p>"No, let me," Ben said as he stopped her hand, his fingers soft and gentle as they slid up her sides to draw the tunic over her head, tossing it onto the floor. He removed her boots and the rest of her clothing with the same care, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as his eyes swept hungrily across her now-naked body.</p><p>"Stars, Rey, you're just so beautiful!"</p><p>"Then come here," Rey said as she grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling him back into a deep kiss as her knees hiked up to bracket his hips, still encased in the towel. The sheer amount of pleasure coursing through her body was dizzying, spiking with every single touch of Ben's fingers against her overheated skin, both her own and Ben's that she could feel across their bond.</p><p>"Rey. My beautiful Rey," Ben murmured against her jaw as her hands trailed across his shoulders and down his strong back until she reached the towel tied around his waist. She yanked it loose, grabbing onto his gloriously round backside as she impatiently pulled him even closer, moaning as her breasts rubbed up against Ben's bare chest and his cock finally made contact with her soaked and throbbing centre. It had been almost two months since they'd last made love, two horrible months of being almost completely separated from him, and Rey was not at all in the mood to be patient.</p><p>"Need you," she said as she wrapped her fingers around him, guiding him between her thighs. "Right now. <em>Please!"</em></p><p>Ben gave a nod, softly kissing her lips as he carefully pushed inside her, tearing his mouth away with a sharp gasp once he was fully sheathed, his entire upper body shaking.</p><p>"Rey, it's been—it's been so long, sweetheart, I can't—"</p><p>"Shh," she whispered as she wiggled her hips slightly, trying to adjust to the fullness that threatened to split her in two. "It's okay, love, just—"</p><p>"No, no, just give me a second," Ben groaned into her hair, stilling completely as he sucked in a deep breath through his nose. "<em>Kriff,</em> Rey, I have missed you so much!"</p><p>"And I you, so no more. No more separations, not ever again." She pressed her heel into Ben's thigh, silently begging him to start moving before she burst into flame right there underneath him. The pleasure flowing back and forth across their bond seemed even stronger than before, as though their separation had forced it to become even more solid, enveloping them both in its warmth. Rey was fully Ben's, physically, emotionally, mentally, just as he was hers, and it was almost too overwhelming.</p><p>She loved him, and he loved her.</p><p>Finally, after another not-so-subtle nudge to his thigh, Ben pushed himself up onto his elbows and drew his hips back, slowly rediscovering the rhythm they had perfected during their time on Naboo. Rey's fingernails dug into the hard muscles of his shoulders as Ben grazed his right hand down her body, her shoulder, her breast, her side and hip, finally slipping it under the small of her back to press her up against him, searching for that spot inside her that made the stars burst behind her eyes.</p><p>"Ben!" Rey cried into his shoulder as she felt the familiar coil start to wind deep inside her gut, her toes curling as her pleasure spiked once again. "Ben, I'm gonna—!"</p><p>"That's it, sweetheart," Ben said, his jaw tightly clenched. "I can feel how close you are, let go for me!"</p><p>The words were barely out of Ben's mouth when the coil snapped and Rey arched up into him, crying out as wave after wave of pleasure coursed throughout her body, from the top of her head down to the very tips of her toes. Ben groaned as he buried his face into her neck, shuddering and gasping as his own climax overtook him.</p><p>They remained still for several heartbeats, trying to catch their breath until Ben lifted his head, kissing the tip of Rey's nose before pulling out of her and rolling onto his back, tucking her close with her hand resting over his heart. Rey breathed in deeply as her palm roamed across Ben's shoulders, arms, chest, and abdomen, trailing across the spot of each of his old scars, left behind from their horrible fight on the collapsing Starkiller Base. The cut on his right bicep, the hit to his left shoulder, Chewie's bowcaster shot to his left side, and the largest one, the deep slash down the right side of his face, past his collarbone and through his pectoral.</p><p>They were all gone now, erased from his body when she'd healed him on the second Death Star, but Rey still remembered where they had been, and how they had haunted her during that awful year following the battle on Crait. The year where she had tried so hard to push Ben out of her mind, but found that no matter what she just could not seem to forget him.</p><p>Something that even Leia had noticed, and not disapprovingly, either.</p><p>"Don't, sweetheart," Ben murmured as he kissed the crown of her head, his palm resting perfectly over the slight swell of her abdomen. "Don't dwell on the past, it doesn't help anything."</p><p>"I know it doesn't," she replied, and she did. All those years of waiting for her parents to return to her on Jakku, all that time spent as an orphan in forced solitude, scratching marks into the grey metal of her claimed home, a shell of its former self, just like she had been in danger of becoming.</p><p>All that time spent <em>waiting, </em>when she'd really been part of something amazing the whole time. A dyad, something so rare that not even Palpatine himself had been able to foresee it, and even more powerful than the combined strength of all the Sith.</p><p>Tears pricked her eyes, and she burrowed even closer to Ben, sliding her leg across his waist. Palpatine hadn't been able to foresee their bond but he had still almost managed to sever it, and the thought—the thought was just—</p><p>"Sweetheart <em>please</em>, just don't." Ben shifted slightly, just enough to reach for the blankets balled up at the end of the bunk, pulling them up over them. "Rest now, okay? I've got you."</p><p>"Mmm," Rey replied, her eyes already fluttering closed as she realised just how tired she really was. She had hardly slept the night before, too anxious about the pending vote to be able to relax, and that plus the energy their son kept insisting on sapping from her left her feeling as limp as a wet leaf.</p><p>"You still don't have any clothes though, and I doubt they'll let us leave tomorrow if you're naked," she mumbled, earning a light chuckle from Ben.</p><p>"We can figure that out later, okay?" She felt his soft lips brush across her forehead. "Sleep now."</p><p>"All right."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>"<em>At night, desperate to sleep, you imagine an ocean. I see it. I see the island."</em></p><p>The words floated through Ben's semi-conscious mind, echoing as if spoken inside a cave, one that was somehow familiar even as he knew he'd never before seen it.</p><p>"<em>I see it. I see the island."</em></p><p>
  <em>The island.</em>
</p><p>"Search your feelings, Ben, you know what it means," a quiet voice suddenly said, causing him to instinctively draw Rey closer as he blinked open his eyes, scowling as he saw Anakin Skywalker's shimmering form standing near the foot of their small bunk.</p><p>"Don't you ever knock?" he grumbled as he carefully disentangled himself from Rey and sat up, who in her deep sleep had latched onto him like an overly-friendly ewok.</p><p>"Would you have opened the door if I had?" Anakin asked, his lips curling into a cocky smile that only caused Ben's scowl to deepen.</p><p>"No. Can't you see that Rey's trying to sleep?" Ben tucked the blanket up over her shoulder, brushing a loose strand of hair from her forehead as he glanced out the small window, noting that the sun was already starting to dip below the treeline in the distance. He and Rey had apparently slept for most of the day.</p><p>"She needs to catch up on her rest. It's not good for her or the baby for her to be so tired all the time."</p><p>"No, probably not, but something tells me that you both might be sleeping a bit easier from here on out," said Anakin. He crossed his arms over his front, giving a slight bow. "Congratulations, by the way."</p><p>"Thank you," Ben said quietly, swallowing against the sudden knot in his throat. He glanced back at Rey's sleeping form, gently caressing her cheek. "Rey, she was… well, she was unbelievable. The way she spoke… she made me sound like someone who—who was worth saving."</p><p>"She made you sound like you, Ben," said Anakin. "And you've always been worth saving, you just didn't realise it until Rey showed you."</p><p>Ben dropped his chin to his chest, struggling to keep hold of his emotions. It was still difficult for him to see himself as someone worth saving, especially after killing his father.</p><p>But then Rey had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and slowly but surely began gathering up all of the remnants of Ben's shattered soul, expertly piecing them back together until Ben was better than he'd ever before been.</p><p>She had seen him at his absolute lowest, and yet still chose to save him. To love him. To proudly hold his hand through the hell he'd created for himself as he worked to expel every single last demon from his life.</p><p>And now, he was <em>free.</em></p><p>"She's gonna marry me," Ben said, smiling so widely that his cheeks ached. "And she's having my baby."</p><p>"Because she loves you," Anakin replied. "And someday, hopefully in the not-too-distant future, that fact will no longer be such a shock for your mind to think."</p><p>Ben stubbornly shook his head. "No, I'll never get over it. There’s no way."</p><p>"Well, suit yourself," Anakin said, rolling his eyes. He mumbled something under his breath, something that Ben couldn't quite catch, aside from the word, "Obi-Wan."</p><p>"What?" asked Ben.</p><p>"Nothing," Anakin said quickly. "Anyway, it seems as though you and Rey have a stop to make on your way back to Naboo, don't you think?"</p><p>Ben's eyes went wide, the image of the cave once again flitting across his mind.</p><p>
  <em>You imagine an ocean.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I see it. I see the island.</em>
</p><p>"To the island," he said softly. "Is that—is that where—?"</p><p>"Only you would know, Ben," Anakin said. "But I'm pretty sure that you already do."</p><p>Rey stirred then, her perfect nose scrunching in the way it often did shortly before she awoke.</p><p>"Um, you'd better get going," Ben warned Anakin. "Rey, she's... ah, well, she's not dressed, and—"</p><p>"And neither are you," Anakin said with a wry grin. "But I understand. We'll speak again soon."</p><p>Not three seconds after Anakin had faded away, Rey opened her eyes, sliding her palm up Ben's arm as she sat up next to him.</p><p>"Ben? Are you all right?"</p><p>"Yes, I’m fine," Ben answered as he drew her into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "More than fine, in fact."</p><p>Rey smiled, her beautiful, full smile that never failed to cause Ben's heart to thud.</p><p>"Good," she whispered, caressing his cheek. "Then we should probably—"</p><p>"I know where we have to go, Rey," Ben cut in. "Before we go back to Naboo. I know where it is."</p><p>Confusion flitted across Rey's face, only for a second before understanding replaced it.</p><p>"Your crystal?" she asked, her exquisite hazel eyes bright with excitement. "You've heard it?"</p><p>"Yes," Ben said. "It's on Ahch-To."</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Stop by and see me on tumblr, I’m <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geeky-writes">geeky-writes</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geekys-starwars%20">geekys-starwars</a> there! 😊 </strong> </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Only one chapter left!</p><p>I can't wait to see what you think! Please don't hesitate to hit that kudos button and leave me a comment! 😊 </p><p>And if anyone has any suggestions for baby names, I'd love to hear them! 💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Part 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we are!  For a story I had originally intended to be four short parts, this definitely exploded a bit.  I can’t thank you all enough for coming along with me for the ride!  💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun was just beginning to rise across the grounds of the base as Rey blinked open her eyes, the faint beams of yellow-gold streaming through the small window and glinting off the few lighter brown strands in Ben's hair, mostly hidden beneath the thick curtain of black.</p><p>She ran her fingers through those beautiful strands now, gently, so as not to wake him. For all of Ben's worry over her sleeping habits during the course of his trial, he had been the one who had really suffered. Forcing himself to stay awake through most of the nights in order to watch over her and expending so much of his remaining energy to project himself in to see her whenever he'd thought it necessary, it was no wonder that his exhaustion had become so deeply embedded in his bones that Rey had felt literal pain in her own.</p><p>Now, though, they had all the time in the world, and with Rey's nausea calmed down to a more manageable level now that the trial was over, she simply wanted to enjoy the rare moment when Ben was asleep and she wasn't.</p><p>Carefully, Rey shifted so she was propped up against the pillows with Ben's head resting against her bare chest, his ear pressed over her heart as she combed her fingers through his hair, trying and failing to remember ever feeling anything so incredibly soft. In his sleep Ben appeared almost boyish, much younger than his thirty-one years, with his pale face relaxed and free of the sharp lines of pain and darkness that had haunted him for most of his life, and a soft smile stretched across Rey's lips as she eagerly drank him in.</p><p>He was finally <em>free</em>, in all possible permutations of the word. Free of the whispers in the night that had haunted him since he was a baby, free of the massive burden of guilt that he had carried since his father's death, and now, free from the galaxy-wide price hanging over his head.</p><p>And best of all, Ben was also free to love her, and she to love him. For even as Ben had sought to prove himself worthy of hearing another kyber crystal's call, he and Rey would not be returning to the old, stifling ways of the Jedi, to the teachings that required commitment to a lifetime spent in celibacy and solitude, and where the smallest mere flash of anger or pain was something to be either completely ignored, or stamped out as swiftly as possible.</p><p>Master Luke had explained some of it during Rey's time on Ahch-To, with her gleaning the rest from the ancient Jedi texts she'd taken from the island when she left. The Jedi were forbidden to marry simply because their entire philosophy sought to remove all feelings of attachment and possession from a person's mind, thinking they could then focus only on doing what was right without passion or prejudice.</p><p>What neither Master Luke nor the texts had included, however, and what both Rey and Ben had both come to realise, is that by eliminating those very feelings of passion and attachment, the very essence of the person themselves was also eliminated. Most people weren't meant to be automatons, floating through life with their emotions held in perfect check. Most people needed their feelings to not only survive, but to thrive.</p><p>Like Ben had said: it was time to let all old things die. The Jedi and the Sith were the two extremes of an ancient religion that no longer applied to either of them, and it was now time for them to forge their own path.</p><p>And, while Rey understood the potential dangers that came with two powerful Force-users who were so attached to each other that they would be willing to burn down the entire galaxy in order to save them, Rey also knew that there was little reason to think that she or Ben would ever fall into such a trap. Neither of them had any ambitions of grandeur; Ben had had enough experience with running the First Order for a year to know it was something that he never wanted to attempt again, and while Rey had somewhat enjoyed her time with the Resistance, and especially the opportunities she'd had to fly the various types of ships, for the moment she was most looking forward to returning to their home on Naboo and getting it ready for their baby.</p><p>An instinctive smile stretched across Rey's lips as she imagined their sweet baby son curled up on Ben's broad chest, with Ben's hands spanning nearly the entire length of his tiny body as he held him. Ben was going to be such a wonderful father, she could just <em>feel</em> it.</p><p>As if in response, Ben sighed in his sleep, prompting Rey to press a kiss to his forehead as she spread his beautiful hair across her chest like a fan. Sometimes it actually frightened her how much she loved him, at how easy it had been for him to work his way into her very soul, even as she had tried so hard to fight it. She had spent her entire life fighting to survive while clinging to the belief that her parents would one day return to her, never wanting to admit to herself that as the suns began to set and she scratched yet another mark in the wall of her shelter, the possibility that they actually would return grew more and more remote.</p><p>But the belonging she had sought was never behind her, as Maz Kanata had so bluntly said. It had always been ahead.</p><p>And now, that belonging was quite literally a part of her. Rey had given Ben her whole heart, trusting that it would be safe in his hands, and he in turn had not only given her his own, but also the very family she had always desired.</p><p>Rey had often wondered if Maz had been able to sense the bond between her and Ben when she'd said those words to Rey on Takodana, or if she had just been trying to help her feel better. Regardless of the reason, those words had stuck with Rey throughout the entire horrible year she had spent following the battle on Crait, where she had tried so hard to train every single last emotion out of her. Because no matter how far she ran or how high she jumped or how many times she completed the training course, she still wasn't able to keep her thoughts from wandering to Ben.</p><p>It was also then that Rey had realised that somehow, she had always been aware of him, even before she knew who he was. Certain times over the course of her life on Jakku where she had felt things that she couldn't explain, a cold shiver racing down her back during the hottest part of the day, dreams and visions of places that she knew she'd never before seen, and, as the years stretched on, sometimes such overwhelming feelings of horror and anguish that all she wanted to do was curl into a tight ball under her thin linen blankets, anxious and confused as to where such dark emotions could be coming from.</p><p>Now she knew they had been coming from Ben, from his desperate cries into the void whenever the darkness threatened to overtake him completely. For even as he had believed that he needed to completely succumb to the Dark Side of the Force in order to please Leader Snoke, something inside him had held him back, preventing him from cementing his conversion.</p><p>Rey, along with Anakin and Leia, had been Ben's pull to the Light, holding him just barely enough on the edge of the precipice to keep from losing him completely.</p><p>And unbeknownst to either of them, it was that connection that then fuelled every single interaction they had once they did meet. Ben's curiosity about her that had prompted him to remove his mask before he interrogated her on Starkiller Base, and the subsequent <em>something</em> she had seen hidden deep inside his beautiful dark brown eyes that at first glance had been unidentifiable, but what she now knew was recognition.</p><p>For as soon as Rey set eyes on Ben's face, her soul immediately recognised him as the very piece it had been missing, and something that had been hidden so deeply inside her that she hadn't even known it existed, awakened.</p><p>Passion.</p><p>Passion for <em>him.</em></p><p>"<em>Passion isn't something to be feared, sweetheart, it's to be embraced," </em>Ben had told her the very first time they became intimate, trying to soothe her nervousness. He had been so nervous himself, so scared of hurting her and thus so focused on ensuring that she was relaxed and comfortable that by the time he entered her Rey felt absolutely no pain at all, only relief that their unique connection was finally made complete, and a pleasure so intense that she could've drowned in the blackened sea of Ben's eyes.</p><p>A blush crept up Rey's cheeks at the memory, of the sheer amount of desire emanating from Ben as he studied her naked body, of her own as she ran her hands along the soft skin and hard muscle of Ben's chest, shoulders, and back, answering every one of his gasps and moans with one of her own. For from the very first time she had seen him stripped to the waist across their bond Rey had been captivated, the exquisite sight fueling the deep, visceral hunger inside her that no amount of food could ever satiate.</p><p>She looked down as Ben breathed in, his thick eyebrows knitting together as he slowly woke, his beautiful full lips stretching into a smile as he focused in on her face.</p><p>"Hey," he said, thick and raspy. "Are you all right?"</p><p>"Yeah," Rey whispered, still stroking his hair. "I'm perfect."</p><p>Ben's smile grew wider, and he shifted onto his side, reaching up to cup her cheek.</p><p>"Yes, you are that," he murmured just before bringing their lips together in a soft kiss, one that Rey lengthened by curling her arms around his neck. Since returning to her room at the end of the trial they had made love no less than three times, pausing only for a quick trip to the mess hall after Finn delivered some clothes for Ben, and yet Rey still wanted—no <em>needed</em>—more of him.</p><p>"Please," she begged as they broke for air, trailing kisses along Ben's jaw and neck as his hands slipped underneath her bum, lifting her so she could straddle him. He was already hard, as he usually was when he awoke, and thanks to Rey's reminiscing she was already more than ready for him.</p><p>"Anything," Ben said as he trailed his hands down to her breasts, gently rubbing his thumbs across her nipples. "I'll give you anything, sweetheart, you know that."</p><p>"I only want you," Rey murmured, rolling her hips against him and gasping as Ben surged forward, capturing her right nipple between his lips as her fingers once again buried themselves in his thick black hair. "Just you."</p><p>"You've got me, my angel," Ben said as he kissed his way across her chest to her left breast, giving it the same care he had shown the other. "Always."</p><p>"Always," Rey repeated. "I like that." She brought their lips together in another deep kiss as Ben lifted her, positioning himself between her legs so she could sink down on him. Rey's lips parted in a soft sigh once they were fully joined, her head tipping forward to thud against his shoulder. No matter how many times they made love those first few seconds were always a bit mind-boggling, the sheer amount of pleasure flowing across their bond so intense that she could practically hear it crackling.</p><p>"<em>Rey,"</em> Ben said on a gasp as Rey took hold of his shoulders and started to move, his hands settling perfectly in the curves of her hips.</p><p>"I'm here, love. I am with you," she murmured. She slid her palms up to cup Ben's cheeks as she kissed him, parting his lips with her tongue as Ben whimpered.</p><p>"You feel incredible," Ben groaned into her mouth, his palms trailing up and down the planes of her back. His breath hitched as Rey clenched down around him, and he broke away from her lips to kiss down her jaw to her neck, murmuring fervent nothings into her skin that sent bolt after bolt of searing heat through Rey's body. Droplets of sweat beaded on her forehead as she clung to him, whimpering as Ben's hand slipped down between their joined bodies, touching her exactly where she needed him.</p><p>"Ben!" she cried as the burning hot current coursing through her suddenly spiked. "I'm—I'm—!"</p><p>Her voice cut off as her climax overtook her without warning, and she sobbed her pleasure into Ben's hair, holding him as closely as their skin and bones allowed as he came only seconds later, his climax triggering an aftershock that was almost more powerful than her own. She felt as though she were floating in a cloud of their ecstasy, that the whole entire universe had condensed down to just the two of them, wrapped so tightly in each other that Rey could feel every single part of Ben's being, and he hers.</p><p>A dyad in the Force. Two that were one. A power even stronger than death itself.</p><p>"Mind, body, and soul," Ben whispered into her throat, as if he'd read her mind. "You're mine, and I am yours." He tilted her chin, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone as he softly kissed her lips.</p><p>"Yes," Rey said. "Always."</p><p>Ben smiled, pecking her nose before lifting her into his arms and carrying her towards the fresher.</p><p>"I'll finish packing while you clean up."</p><p>"Good. I won't be long," Rey assured him. She knew Ben was eager to leave as soon as possible, as was she, a sentiment that was reinforced when she emerged from the fresher to find that Ben had already stacked their three crates of belongings right next to the door. After a quick trip to the mess hall for breakfast and some rations for the trip, Rey slung her satchel across her shoulder and was just about ready to contact Finn to ask about a transport ship when there was a knock at the door.</p><p>"Come in?" said Rey, surprised when the door slid open to reveal Poe and Finn, along with a small flatbed cart.</p><p>"Ah, we thought you might need some help with your stuff," Poe said with a rather sheepish grin. "Figured that you shouldn't be carrying too much since you're… you know…"</p><p>"Oh. Yes, thank you," Rey answered shortly. She had never been particularly close to Poe, and his guilty vote at Ben's trial had only proved to her that he had enjoyed his position as Leia's surrogate son far too much to want to admit that Ben could ever be redeemed.</p><p>"And… there's also someone waiting to see you guys in the hangar," Finn added. "Actually, a couple of someones."</p><p>"Oh? Who?" Rey asked, barely a split second before she felt an ice-cold bolt race down her spine. She whipped her head up to look at Ben, his expression frozen into one of barely-concealed panic.</p><p>"Ben? What is it?"</p><p>But Ben only shook his head, making a very poor attempt at a smile as he placed a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>"It's nothing, sweetheart. Don't worry."</p><p>"But—" Rey started, her jaw snapping closed as it finally hit her.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>Taking Ben's hand, Rey pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles as they followed Poe and Finn out of the building and towards the massive hangar that housed most of the Resistance ships, her mind roiling almost as much as Ben's. Of all the not-so-coincidental timing…</p><p><em>Ben, you don't have to do this, </em>she sent across their bond. <em>Not if you don't want to.</em></p><p><em>I'm fine, Rey, </em>he shot back, almost angrily. <em>I told you not to worry.</em></p><p>Rey scowled, but before she could protest again the ship came into view, so odd amongst the mass of fighters and transport ships. Her heart skittered, her fingers instinctively tightening around Ben's as they drew closer to it, and to the two figures standing in front of the lowered hatch as if they had been specifically waiting for them to arrive.</p><p>Which they had. Rey had absolutely no doubt about it.</p><p>"Hello, Ben. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" said Lando Calrissian before they had even come to a halt, his hands held together in front of him as he gave Rey a polite but formal nod. Next to him stood Chewbacca, his back ramrod straight and his eyes trained on a point some distance away. "And Rey, it's nice to see you again."</p><p>"Hello," Rey said coolly, fighting against the strong urge to step in front of Ben, whose cheeks had gone as white as freshly fallen snow. "We heard you two were on a mission?"</p><p>"Yes, and a very successful one, I might add," said Lando. "In fact, Chewie and I managed to find an entire system that with just a little help, should be absolutely perfect for the rest of the Stormtrooper refugees."</p><p>Chewie howled in agreement, and Ben flinched at the sound, his mind still a thundering stormcloud of swirling emotions. Rey huffed in frustration, and was just about ready to ask if they could be on their way when Lando held out his right hand towards Ben, uncurling his fingers to reveal a set of golden dice linked by a chain.</p><p>"I believe these are yours," he said, jerking his head in Ben's direction when Ben didn't budge a single inch. "It's all right, kid. Go on and take 'em."</p><p>Ben breathed in, his chin quivering as he slowly reached out his hand, gulping as Lando dropped the dice into his palm.</p><p>"Thank you," he said, softly but still clear. "I… um…"</p><p>"He used to love to play with those when he was little," Lando said with a rather sly grin. "He loved them so much that he'd sometimes even fall asleep with them still clutched in his hand, back when he was about yay big or so." He let out a sharp breath as he regarded Ben, studying his face. "I'm pretty sure you weren't much taller than waist-height the last time I saw you."</p><p>"I wasn't," Ben said, only a bit louder. "I was ten."</p><p>"Yes, that's right," said Lando. "I remember now." He stepped forward, placing his hands on Ben's arms. "It's good to see you again, kid. Take good care of her, all right?"</p><p>Ben's eyes went wide, his head snapping back as if he'd been slapped. "You mean take care of Rey, right?"</p><p>"Well, yeah, her too, but from what I've seen she can pretty much take care of herself," said Lando. He shot Rey a wink, looking back towards the ship. "Now, the Falcon on the other hand, she's kinda getting up there, so she's gonna definitely need a little TLC from time to time, and—"</p><p>"What?" Ben practically squeaked, squeezing Rey's fingers to the point of pain. "You mean—?"</p><p>"What, they didn't tell you?" Lando asked, looking around for Finn and Poe, who seemed to have mysteriously disappeared.</p><p>"Tell us what?" Rey demanded. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"The Falcon is yours, Ben, yours and Rey's," Lando stated. "It's what Han would've wanted."</p><p>Ben went rigid at the mention of Han, and he looked down at the dice resting in his palm, sucking in a deep breath as his fingers slowly curled around them.</p><p>"Ben, we don't have to," Rey said quietly. "If it's too hard, we don't—"</p><p>"Rey," Ben cut in, meeting Rey's eyes in a silent plea.</p><p>
  <em>What do I do?</em>
</p><p><em>Only what feels right, </em>Rey answered. <em>You don't owe anyone anything, Ben. I mean it.</em></p><p>Ben gave a nod, gently squeezing Rey's hand. Then he turned to Lando and Chewie, squaring his shoulders.</p><p>"Thank you. Rey and I will take good care of—"</p><p>He was cut off by a howl from Chewie as the Wookiee suddenly leaped forward, enveloping Ben into a hug that could've very well crushed a smaller man, grunting softly into Ben's neck as his other arm snaked around Rey's waist, pulling her in as well.</p><p>And Ben had been right; there really wasn't anything that could compare to getting hugged by a Wookiee.</p><p>"I missed you too," Rey heard Ben rasp into the mass of fur covering Chewie's chest.</p><p>Chewie growled something that Rey didn't quite catch as he released them, ruffling Ben's hair before swiping his furry paw across his eyes. Ben's face was streaked with tears as he glanced up at the ship that had once been his father's pride and joy, his right fist tightly clenched around the gold dice as he slipped his arm around Rey's shoulders.</p><p>"We'll take good care of her," he said as he scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. "I promise."</p><p>Just then Poe and Finn reappeared, walking down the Falcon's ramp. Apparently they had been busy loading Rey and Ben's luggage onto the ship during their conversation.</p><p>"You're all set to go," Finn said. He glanced up at Ben, tilting his head in question and drawing Rey into a tight hug at Ben's answering nod. "You take care of yourself, okay?"</p><p>"I will," Rey replied. "You too."</p><p>"I will." He stepped back, raising his hand halfway as if planning to offer it to Ben before dropping it back to his side, nodding as Poe clapped Rey on the shoulder.</p><p>"We hate to lose you, Rey," he said. "Don't be a complete stranger now, all right?"</p><p>"We'll see," said Rey. At the moment she couldn't imagine a possible reason for she and Ben to ever return, but there was no point in sharing that with Poe. The moment was already tense enough.</p><p>"Be careful with Master Luke's fighter," she added. "It's a bit dodgy."</p><p>"I will," replied Poe.</p><p>"Just remember, she's gonna need a bit of TLC," Lando called as Ben led Rey up the Falcon's ramp. "She's not as young as she used to be!"</p><p>"We will," Ben said. Then he pressed the button that raised the hatch, turning to Rey as soon as it locked into place.</p><p>"Rey," he rasped as he drew her into his arms. "I can't—I don't—"</p><p>"Shh, love, it's all right," Rey murmured, stroking his back. "These last few days have been pretty overwhelming, haven't they?"</p><p>"Yeah," said Ben, followed by a rather morbid chuckle. "And I'm beyond ready for it to stop now."</p><p>"Me too." She rose onto her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to Ben's cheek. "So, which seat would you like? Pilot's or copilot's?"</p><p>"Ah," Ben murmured as he led Rey into the cockpit, ducking his head as he paused in the centre of the four chairs, running his palm across the top of first the back of the pilot's chair, then the copilot's as an image of a small Ben sitting on his father's lap and laughing as he pretended to fly flashed across her mind.</p><p>"I'd like the pilot's seat, at least to start with," he finally said. "Is that okay?"</p><p>"Of course it's okay," Rey whispered as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's your ship."</p><p>Ben shook his head, his lips quirking into that soft smile that Rey adored. "No, it's <em>our </em>ship. Yours and mine."</p><p>"Ours," Rey said, matching his smile. She pressed a quick kiss to Ben's lips before sliding into the copilot's seat, watching as Ben carefully hung the golden dice from their proper place on the console. Then he settled his lanky body into the pilot's chair, sucked in a deep breath, and began flipping switches as though he had done it a thousand times before. He was so tall that his head almost touched the ceiling of the cockpit, but Rey could tell that on the inside, Ben felt as though he were ten years old again.</p><p>"Ready?" he asked once the engines were up and running, his large hand trembling slightly on the throttle as Rey covered it with her own.</p><p>"Ready, Captain Solo," she said. "Take us out."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Dusk was falling across the mountainous island as Ben set the Falcon down on the flattest stretch of land he could find, wincing as the elderly ship pinged and groaned in protest at the uneven terrain. Lando had been right; she definitely needed a bit of babying, not to mention a slew of repairs and adjustments that he'd already noticed. He would have to add those to his to-do list once he and Rey returned to Naboo.</p><p>"Sorry 'bout that," he whispered as he patted the console, earning a rather cheeky smile from Rey.</p><p>"I'm sure she'll forgive you," she said as she stood up from her seat, stretching her arms up over her head and yawning. They had flown for the entire day, with Ahch-To being as remote as it was, and while Ben had had the controls for most of it he knew that Rey still had to be exhausted from the trip.</p><p>As eager as he was to see more of the island—the scholar part of him was very curious to explore such a legendary ancient Jedi temple—he knew his boyish enthusiasm could wait until the morning, after Rey had gotten a good night's sleep.</p><p>"We should rest now," he said as he reached for her hand. "Have something to eat and then go to bed."</p><p>It was a testament to just how tired Rey was that she didn't utter a single word of protest as Ben led her into the main hold of the ship, sitting her down at the circular holochess table as he set about digging through their supply of rations for something that looked remotely appetising. For all of the improvements the Resistance had made since the end of the war, they still hadn't learned how to cook very well.</p><p>They ate side-by-side in a comfortable silence, with Rey's head leaning against Ben's side and his arm wrapped around her. All around him he could sense the Force, ebbing and flowing like the harsh ocean that surrounded the island, the soft call of his crystal a gentle reassuring presence through the violent crash of the waves.</p><p>"Don't be afraid," Rey whispered from under his arm, her eyes closed and a soft smile gracing her lips. "I feel it too."</p><p>"I'm not afraid," he whispered back, brushing his lips across her forehead. "I'm with you."</p><p>"Mmm," murmured Rey. "And I'm with you."</p><p>They headed back to the bunks shortly thereafter, where Ben realised that the two Resistance generals had placed their belongings inside the Captain's quarters rather than in his old room, likely under the assumption that that was where Ben and Rey wanted them. But they had no sooner stepped across the threshold when Rey tugged Ben to a stop, offering to gather the things they needed for the night as she practically shoved him towards his childhood quarters. A knot rose in Ben's throat at her thoughtfulness, at how easily she could read him with only the briefest of glances.</p><p>Piloting the ship had been one thing, but sleeping in his father and mother's bed… that was very much another, and not something that Ben felt like tackling at the moment.</p><p>As Ben changed for bed and settled in on his old bunk, so short that his feet dangled off the end, his heart swelled even more as Rey emerged from the fresher and climbed up next to him, immediately kissing him breathless. Ben's arms instinctively wrapped around her as Rey slid her leg across his hips, scrabbling with the waistband of his sleeping pants and peeling them down his legs for him to kick off. She was already naked, her beautiful lithe body glowing in the soft bluish lights that lined the floor of the room, and Ben moaned as he slid his hands up to palm her breasts, already a bit fuller from her pregnancy.</p><p>"Rey," he groaned as she broke away from his mouth, trailing hot, opened-mouth kisses down his jaw to his neck as she ground her hips down against his, pulling another loud moan from his throat as she took his hard cock in hand and began stroking him.</p><p>"Sweetheart!" Ben gasped, clenching his teeth. "I won't—I'm not—!" He curled his fingers around her wrist, stilling her hand. "Please, I want to be inside you."</p><p>Rey grinned as she locked eyes with him, his breath hitching as she softly brushed her lips across his and positioned him between her thighs, sinking down on him so exquisitely slowly that he'd nearly bit through his bottom lip by the time he was fully sheathed. Rey's body hugged him perfectly, like they were made only for each other, her plush lips parting in a silent <em>Oh</em> as Ben glided his palms down her sides and across the slightly rounded swell of their child. Rey's hands grasped onto his shoulders as she pushed up onto her knees and slid back down, her gorgeous hazel eyes holding his own, unblinking and lust-blown.</p><p>"I love you," she said on a gasp, her fingernails digging into Ben's skin as he felt her climax building like a wave. "Ben!"</p><p>"I'm here, my angel," Ben said as he planted his heels on the end of the bunk, gripping Rey's hips as he thrusted up into her, his own climax racing towards him like an out-of-control speeder. "I'm right here with you!"</p><p>She leaned over then, fusing their lips together as she clenched down around him, and that was all it took for Ben to come, the sensation tearing through him like a lightsaber through snow, pulling Rey over the edge with him as she cried out her pleasure against the ancient walls of the ship.</p><p>"I love you," she murmured drowsily into his shoulder as Ben shimmied the blankets up over them. The Force surrounding them was calmer now, as if it too was drowsy, ready to sleep.</p><p>"I know," Ben said as he kissed her nose, his entire body still tingling. "I love you too."</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>They held hands as they climbed up the ancient stone steps, still shrouded by wisps of morning fog that hadn't yet burned away. The wind, harsh and biting, whipped their hair into their faces while the ocean below them crashed against the rocks, relentlessly beating them into submission.</p><p>Despite being able to fall asleep rather easily after their lovemaking, Ben's night had been a restless one. Strange dreams of caves and tidepools, lightsaber duels and crackling bolts of Force lightning eventually pushed him out of bed to pace around the ship, fidgeting with various odds and ends and attempting to ignore the ghosts of his deceased family members as he begged the darkness to <em>please </em>just go <em>away.</em></p><p>Like that had ever worked in the past.</p><p>Rey had eventually found him in the main hold, shivering from the cold and holding an old Jedi training remote in his hand that he'd found stuck underneath one of the chairs. Silently, she had taken the remote from his hand, draped a blanket across his shoulders, and led him back to bed, holding him tightly in her arms for the rest of the night as he drifted in and out of his nightmares.</p><p>And once he had awoken, the very first thing he noticed was Rey. The feel of her soft skin against his own, the scent of her hair spread across his neck, the warmth of her breath on his forehead, and once again Ben was reminded that he wasn't alone, that he was loved by the very woman who had been able to see through the cracks in his masks to find the lingering threads of conflict hidden so deeply inside him that he had long believed them to be invisible.</p><p>The woman who was soon going to become his wife, and have his child, and who he loved more than life itself.</p><p>"Were those around when you were here before?" Ben asked as they passed yet another nest housed in one of the rocky outcroppings, the egg-shaped birds huddled inside regarding them with suspicion.</p><p>"Yes, Master Luke called them porgs," answered Rey. "Don't they look like they're about to cry?"</p><p>"Either that or dive-bomb us," Ben said warily, relieved when the chubby, goofy-looking bird slinked back down into its nest. He'd always had a preference for land animals over birds, specifically ones of the fuzzy variety that he could cuddle and play with.</p><p>Not that he'd ever had the option of owning a pet. His parents' lifestyle hadn't really ever landed him the opportunity, and neither had Master Luke's training temple.</p><p>Attachment was forbidden, after all.</p><p>"But not anymore," Rey murmured, squeezing his hand.</p><p>"No," Ben agreed. "Not anymore."</p><p>He paused then, drawing Rey closer to him as he closed his eyes, attempting to pinpoint the call of his crystal through the cacophony of elements battering against the island.</p><p><em>Breathe, </em>he told himself, his fingers going slack in Rey's. <em>Feel the Force flowing through you.</em></p><p>
  <em>Breathe… </em>
</p><p>Relaxing his shoulders, Ben breathed in as deeply as he could, his arms falling to his sides as he exhaled, opening his mind to the path on which the Force had beckoned him. And then, as if riding on a gust of wind, Ben suddenly heard his name, and his mind's eye zoomed in on it as though it had been illuminated by a spotlight, a single speck of light glowing at the bottom of a huge pool of darkness.</p><p>His crystal.</p><p>He opened his eyes again to find Rey staring up at him in wonder.</p><p>"You've found it?" she asked.</p><p>"Yes," he said. "It's underwater." He retook Rey's hand, jerking his head towards another path that led away from the steps. "This way."</p><p>They walked in silence for a few more minutes until they came upon a rather odd flat outcropping of stone with a gaping hole in its centre. Rey tugged on Ben's hand, frowning as she studied their surroundings.</p><p>"Ben, I've been to this place," she said with a shiver, her hazel eyes radiating nervousness. "Master Luke always said it was a dark place, are you sure this is right?"</p><p>"I'm absolutely sure," Ben replied, hoping his voice didn't betray his own jangling nerves. He was definitely in the right place as the crystal's call was constant now, a beacon piercing through the roar of wind and waves. He brushed his fingertips down Rey's cheek, attempting a smile as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "I'll be okay, sweetheart. I promise."</p><p>Rey swallowed hard, nodding. "All right," she said softly. "I'll be waiting for you here."</p><p>"All right."</p><p>After pressing a soft kiss to Rey's forehead, Ben sucked in a deep breath to get his bearings and dove towards the black hole of the water. The salt stung his eyes, and the freezing cold pierced his body like a thousand knives as he swam down, down, down into the vast expanse of nothingness towards the single speck of light he could see. In his mind he could sense Rey, struggling to maintain a soothing presence across their bond even as Ben knew she could no longer see him.</p><p>
  <em>It's all right, sweetheart. I'm still here.</em>
</p><p>Feeling Rey's sigh of relief, Ben kicked even harder towards the crystal, glowing brightly against the black emptiness of the pool. As soon as he was able to close his fingers around it he pushed off the bottom, his lungs ready to burst by the time he finally broke the surface, gulping for breath. He quickly scrambled out of the pool, shoving the wet hair from his eyes as he cradled in the crystal in his palm, gingerly running his finger down one of its many smooth facets.</p><p>Unlike his original crystal, this one was green, just like the broken one Rey had found on Coruscant that she then healed to yellow. It was also larger than his old crystal, leaving Ben to wonder just how long it had been lying there at the bottom of that pool, waiting for its owner to come and claim it.</p><p>It was a question to which he would likely never have the answer, especially if in all his years of solitude on the island, Master Luke hadn't even realised it was there.</p><p>His heart quickening, Ben closed his fingers around the precious stone and hurried around to the edge of the cave.</p><p>"I'm here, sweetheart," he called, smiling when Rey poked her head over the ledge. "I've got it!"</p><p>"All right, I'm coming down!" she said excitedly. "Don't start without me!"</p><p>"I won't!"</p><p>Ben was practically giddy as he sat down cross-legged on the floor of the cave, carefully laying out the various pieces he'd collected to compose his new lightsaber. A section of Rey's old staff, a small piece of a wooden carving from Chandrila, made the year he was born, a couple of spare parts from the Falcon, and, the most important component of all, the golden dice.</p><p>He looked up as Rey appeared, a beaming smile on her beautiful face as she took her place opposite him, crossing her legs. He had watched as she'd assembled her lightsaber on Coruscant, in awe of both the process and of her, and he could now sense the same awe and wonder coming from her as he prepared to do the same.</p><p>Closing his eyes, Ben breathed in and raised his hands, the Force flowing through him like a powerful river as he visualised the various components coming together to form the hilt, with the crystal settling perfectly inside. Once it was finished and had dropped gently into his outstretched hands, he opened his eyes, his lips quirking into a tentative smile as he examined it.</p><p>To him it looked perfect, but the real test would come when he attempted to ignite it.</p><p>As if she'd read his mind, Rey got to her feet, pulling her own lightsaber from her satchel as she stepped over to stand next to him.</p><p>"Ready?" she asked as she raised her hilt.</p><p>Ben gave a single nod, his own hilt at the ready.</p><p>"Now."</p><p>The two blades ignited simultaneously, one green, one yellow, their combined hums echoing across the cave as identical smiles of relief spread across both their faces. Tears stung Ben's eyes at the melodious sound; no longer the warbly, unstable cry of a cracked and bled crystal, but the proud, constant hum of a crystal that had never before been touched, shielded by a thousand generations of Jedi just for him to find.</p><p>And now, Ben Solo's journey back to the Light was finally complete.</p><p>Disengaging the blade, Ben carefully hooked the lightsaber onto his belt and reached for Rey, wrapping his arms around her and tucking her head under his chin as tears of gratitude and relief poured down his cheeks.</p><p>"I love you so much, sweetheart," he sobbed into Rey's hair. "Thank you. Thank you for believing in me when no one else would."</p><p>
  <em>Not even me.</em>
</p><p>Rey only shook her head, her arms tightening around Ben's waist.</p><p>"You'll never have to thank me for loving you, or believing in you," she said into his chest. "Not ever."</p><p>"I know," he replied. "But I'm still going to." He dipped his head, tilting her chin up to press a soft kiss to her lips. "Are you ready to go home now?"</p><p>"Yes," Rey said with a slight frown. "But I thought you wanted to explore some of the island first?"</p><p>"No, not anymore." Ben let his palm drift down to Rey's abdomen, covering the barely-there swell of their baby. Their son, who would be coming along in only a matter of months whether they were ready for him or not. The first of a brand-new generation of Skywalkers, but one that would have none of the crushing burden of legacy that Ben used to carry.</p><p>"I'm ready to go home."</p><p>Rey smiled, a huge, wide smile that showed off her dimple in all of its glory as she rose up onto her tiptoes to kiss him, her lips warm and plush against his.</p><p>"All right," she said once she pulled away, caressing his cheek. "Then take me home."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>~~~~~</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Two years later.</em>
</p><p>"Daddy! Me catch!" cried little Tai, not a split second before he leapt from the rock he was perched on directly towards Ben, barely giving his father enough time to get his arms out in order to catch him. Tai landed in the water bum-first, sending small waves spraying in all directions as Ben scooped him up, clutching him to his chest.</p><p>As the peals of Tai's sweet laughter filtered through the tall trees that surrounded them, Rey couldn't help but join in, shielding her eyes from the bright sun as Ben placed Tai back up on his rock, warning him to let Daddy get set first instead of just leaping in blindly. But just as he had the first time, Ben had no sooner taken a single step back when Tai launched himself at him yet again, nearly smacking their heads together.</p><p>Their son was definitely a handful, and had been since the day he'd been born almost a full month early, but as the ancient cheesy saying went, full hands meant a full heart, and Rey couldn't imagine her heart being any fuller than it was in that moment.</p><p>She leaned back on their spread-out blanket, nibbling on a small piece of flatbread as she watched Ben toss their son into the air, his own laughter intermingling with Tai's high-pitched giggles as the little boy wrapped his chubby toddler arms around Ben's neck.</p><p>"Say hi to Momma, little one," Ben said, waving in Rey's direction.</p><p>"Hi Momma!" Tai said obediently, curling his fingers into his palm in his best imitation of a wave. "Love you!"</p><p>"I love you too, sweet boy!" Rey called back. "Be careful now, okay?"</p><p>"Uh huh!"</p><p>Tipping her head back, Rey closed her eyes, revealing in the warmth of the Naboo sunlight against her skin. On Jakku the suns had been something to fear, to cower from, lest they cause her to dehydrate too fast or burn her skin to a crisp, but on Naboo sunshine was something to be celebrated. A sign of peace, and happiness.</p><p>Of new life.</p><p>The last two years had been a whirlwind, beginning shortly after they arrived back on Naboo. Aside from chalking it up to yet another intervention by the Force, Rey still couldn't quite explain how everything had managed to fall into place like it had. From learning that someone had already paid for hangar space for the Falcon once they arrived to the chance meeting with the lead councillor of the Amidala family once they visited the bookshop to resume Ben's employment, she and Ben had been the recipients of so many unexpected blessings that it was still difficult for her to wrap her mind around all of it.</p><p>Not the least of which was discovering that Ben, apparently the sole surviving member of the Amidala family, was now heir to a trust fund totalling no less than three million credits, and not one but two separate houses, one located in the main city that was so big that Rey far preferred to call it a palace, and a slightly smaller but no less decadent home out in the lake country. After taking a few days to process all of the startling information, Ben had asked Rey which home she wished to live in, saying that he would go along with whatever she chose.</p><p>And, without hesitation, Rey had informed Ben that she had no intentions of living anywhere except their home in the forest. She had absolutely no desire at all to live in a palace, and with the simple modifications that Ben had already planned on making to their little log cabin, Rey knew that it would be just perfect for them and their growing family.</p><p>She did concede, however, to hold their simple marriage ceremony on the balcony of the lake house, which she discovered later had been the very same place where Anakin Skywalker had taken Padme Amidala as his bride, and to keep that house as a possible vacation spot, as it really was set in such a beautiful area of the planet, one Rey knew that her children would grow to love just as she had.</p><p>The palace, they decided, would be much better suited to be converted into multiple smaller homes so as to help ease some of the burden of the millions of families displaced by years of galactic war, a decision that while a bit unpopular with some of the locals at first, proved to be fruitful when one of the families to take up residence in those new homes eventually played a key role in negotiating one of the most lucrative trading contracts that Naboo had ever seen, bringing goods back to the planet that hadn't been seen in generations.</p><p>Naboo was at peace, the galaxy was at peace, and now the Solo family was at peace.</p><p>A peace that was suddenly shattered by a shower of cold droplets as Rey was broadsided by a still-giggling toddler, his wavy dark brown hair—only a shade or two lighter than Ben's—dripping water all over Rey's chest as he scrambled onto her lap, settling his head down under her chin and popping his thumb into his mouth.</p><p>"I made the mistake of telling him it was time for a nap," Ben said apologetically as he quickly towelled off Tai's hair, laying the towel over him like a blanket once he was done. "I didn't think he thought that I meant right this very second."</p><p>"Oh, it's all right," Rey said with a laugh as she squeezed her sweet son to her, whose eyes were already closed. "It's a beautiful afternoon for a nap outdoors anyway." She breathed in, resting her cheek on Tai's head as Ben settled in behind her, wrapping his long arms around them both.</p><p>"You've been pretty tired lately too," Ben whispered into her ear. "Why don't you try and rest a bit, hmm?"</p><p>"Mmm, okay," Rey murmured, smiling softly as she leaned back against Ben, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. She had been quite tired lately, and a bit nauseous as well, but it had only been earlier that day that she'd had her very first vision of their unborn daughter, a little girl with brown hair and hazel eyes who wanted to grow up to be a teacher and scholar, just like her daddy.</p><p>"I've got a good reason to be tired lately," she added, tilting her head up to gaze at her husband, smirking at the look of confusion that fluttered across his face.</p><p>"Rey?" Ben said, his eyes widening in shock as she took his hand, guiding it to her abdomen. "Are you—are you really—?"</p><p>"Close your eyes," she whispered. "Can you see her?"</p><p>She watched as Ben closed his eyes, his lower lip starting to quiver only a few seconds later.</p><p>"Oh," he breathed. "Oh sweetheart, she's so beautiful! She looks just like you!" Ben's eyes were shiny with tears as he cupped her cheek, brushing a soft kiss across her lips. "We're gonna need to add another bedroom to the house now."</p><p>"Yes, but we still have some time," Rey said. Tai had ended up spending most of his first year in with his parents, which had honestly suited Rey just fine since it made the middle-of-the-night feedings that much easier, and she had little doubt that the new baby would be any different.</p><p>Besides, it still amazed her how quickly Tai had already grown, and while she loved every single hug and snuggle that she still got from him, and especially his cuddly afternoon naps, Rey was very much looking forward to snuggling with a tiny one again, to wrapping her to her chest as she had done with Tai to keep him as close as possible, ensuring that he would never have to struggle to remember what a hug felt like.</p><p>Not like she had.</p><p>"I love you," Ben whispered, trailing his thumb across her cheek. "I love you so much."</p><p>"I know," Rey said with a smile. Then she pressed a kiss to Ben's lips and tucked her head under his chin, closing her eyes as little Tai sighed in his sleep. She was surrounded by her two most favourite people in the entire galaxy, and as she drifted off, Rey couldn't imagine being happier than she was in that moment.</p><p>Rey and Ben's story might've sounded like something out of an old angel tale, the lonely scavenger who gets taken captive by the dark prince and they eventually fall in love, but Rey didn't much care. For the hows and whys of their story had never really mattered to her. Not in the slightest.</p><p>The only thing that did was that they had found each other, and now neither of them would ever have to be alone again.</p><p>They were a dyad in the Force. Two that were one.</p><p>And Solo was just their name, no longer their destiny.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The end.</strong>
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  <em> <strong>Stop by and see me on tumblr, I’m <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geeky-writes">geeky-writes</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/geekys-starwars%20">geekys-starwars</a> there 😊 </strong> </em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can't wait to see what you think! Please don't forget to hit the kudos button and leave me a comment!</p><p>I am also planning another Reylo story as part of the Reylo Fanfiction anthology, as well as a few other ideas that are currently floating around in my head, so you haven’t heard the last of me.  😊 </p><p>Thank you again for all of the support! I appreciate each and every one of my awesome readers! 💖</p>
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